10 January 2010

The Top Ten Reasons that Team Hayes thought Avatar was LAME!

This is our first co-written blog. See if you can tell which parts were written by which Hayes.

***Caution: This list contains spoilers (not that you wouldn’t see them coming anyway)***

10) If you are going to make a movie that has a bunch of blue people living in the forest, who are hiding from “the man”, then you have to make a Gargamel/Smurf reference somewhere in the movie. Something as simple as a sticker on one of the bombs would work just fine.

9) This movie paints the human race (or rather Americans), especially our military, to be evil and heartless. We aren’t that bad, are we? Lame, to the extreme.

8) What’s with the motive? It was completely weak. “We are going to travel six years to another planet to farm this rock that is worth $20 million per kilogram.” What is so special about that rock? Does it cure cancer, facilitate time travel, allow people to divide by zero? There was a whole lot missing there. Plus, there was an abundance of that certain rock on Pandora, it was just the most concentrated under the blue people’s tree house. Why couldn’t the bad guys just mine all the rock from the surrounding areas without hurting anyone? Also, wouldn’t you make a bigger pile of money by studying and exploiting the ability to ‘plug’ into a planet or animals? Think about it.

7) One word: PREDICTABLE. Who didn’t think, as soon as what’s-her-face told the story about how only five people have ever flown with that big ole orange dragon-bird-thing, that Sully would eventually fly it? Also, did anyone NOT think that they would end up mating? I could have called Grace’s death from the very beginning. Oh, and guess who won?...The good guys. SHOCKING!

6) Too many people are raving about this movie ONLY because they were told it was awesome. Aside from the stupendous computer animation, there was nothing amazing about this film. Everyone keeps saying how great they thought it was only because that’s what everyone else is doing. Conformists. It was lame, admit it.

5) Michelle Rodriquez is not convincing as the softhearted rebel against evil. She should have played a bad guy. She is too easy to hate. We didn’t like her in the sympathetic role.

4) It is said, in the movie, that the reason Sully’s legs haven’t been ‘fixed’ is because the VA couldn’t provide adequate health care for their soldiers because the economy wasn’t doing so well. Well, if the economy was sucking so badly, how were they funding all of the armament and colonizing on other planets, not to mention the Avatar program itself? Hmmm?

3)The story just wasn’t there. How can you have dragon like creatures that don’t have fire or ice breath? Seriously, that might have made up for the sketchy and familiar plot.

2)Consider this: Travel to Pandora is a twelve year round trip. The Avatar program had to have taken decades to research and finally become a reality. The military guys were behind this plan ALL of those years. Then, all of a sudden they actually have a guy on the “inside” and there are only three months to make something happen before they have to start bombing blue people. This makes NO SENSE! It had to have taken a LONG time to set up shop on that planet, and they were fine with not killing innocent indigenous people for years and years. Then, out of nowhere it just HAS to be done? Not buying it. LAME!

…and the number one reason that Avatar was LAME is….

1) All this movie needed was a Kevin Costner cameo, and it could have been called “Dances With Wolves In Space”. Come on James Cameron, can’t you write an original story?

We’d like to caveat this list with the fact that we thought the graphics and animation were AMAZING. We just wish that the story wouldn’t have played out like a hastily adapted remake.

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03 January 2010

The Fabulous Five

Fabulous Five – Bradrick Style:

Since this is the Happy-Team-Hayes Blog and not Happy-Amy-Hayes Blog and I am part of Team Hayes I can use it.

I don’t follow blogs as often as I should, I will try harder to keep up with them. I usually get the highlights from Amy but lately she has been busy. I just found out last night from my sister-in-law that I was included in one of the infamous top 10 list that everyone has been blogging about. Thank you Dean for all the nice things you said. I’m sorry you were restricted to just 10 things to say about me.

I feel like the ball is now in my court. So, I have decided that I will give this top 10 thing a shot. I had a hard time figuring out who I wanted to do a top 10 blog about. Because I think that blogging a top 10 of just one person seems to be getting a little stale, I have chosen this top 10 to be on the fabulous five…..The Cheatham girls or rather the girls formally know as……The Cheatham girls.

Top 10 fast facts about….The Cheatham Girls. Jodi, Amanda, Stacy, Kylie and Amy:

10. They are all very smart and will probably comment on all of my grammatical mistakes.
9. They have all swam across bass lake.
8. If you can’t beat-em Cheat-em
7. They can’t be convinced that sharks are computer generated.
6. One word - Karaoke. They all know the lyrics and will happily sing/rap you Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song, Baby Got Back. Seriously…ask any one of them.
5. They have all flown in a helicopter.
4. One word…Drama. Days of our lives can’t hold a candle to...(scratch that)
4. Two words - Homemade syrup. Aunt Jemima is not welcome in their houses.
3. If they didn’t have to stop talking to breathe they could talk non-stop for at least 24 hours.
2. Two words - Abel Skivers. You can’t have a Cheatham brunch with out those little pancake muffin things.
1. When together they can transform into Optimus Cheatham.
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This was a harder than a thought it was going to be and it feels a little rushed. Oh well it’s a blog right? I look forward to any suggestions.

24 December 2009

"I have Diabetes"..."I'm Not Hungry"..."I'm a Vegetarian"

Tonight is Christmas Eve and I started my evening out in a very cheery mood. Melynda and Gabe were coming over for a small Christmas dinner, and everything was in order. The table was set all fancy, and the dinner was all prepped and ready to go. I was planning on having a great evening.

After Thanksgiving dinner, Melynda and I had talked about filling a plate and driving around to find a homeless person to give it too. We got carried away with the evening and the many guests and forgot. We were determined to feed a less-fortunate person tonight. As soon as we finished eating, we loaded up a large Ziplock container with duck, mashed potatoes, candies yams, green beans almondine, cranberry sauce, stuffing, dinner rolls, pecan pie, and Christmas cookies. We bagged all the food up with a bottle of water, a coke, plastic utensils, wet wipes, and even a Coors Light that was left in my fridge from last nights beer can chicken (it's Christmas, what the heck).

Melynda and I were so excited to head out and give all of this yumminess to some appreciative hungry person. There are a lot of homeless people in Hawaii. I guess it makes sense because I couldn't personally think of a better place to live outside. Anyway, there is one guy in particular that Melynda and I are fond of. He is always wearing an Army shirt, and is always very grateful even if all I have to offer him is a granola bar, a pack of tinker bell fruit snacks and half a bottle of water. We named him Tom, but have decided to ask him his name one of these days. When we left the house tonight, we really wanted to find Tom. We found someone else in the spot where Tom can usually be found. This someone did not deserve to be named by us! On his way to our window he waved off someone trying to hand him a dollar, then changed his mind and went back to take it anyway. As he walked from that car to my car, I could hear him mutter, "Cheap somabitch". What?!?!? "Okay", I thought, "calm down. Even mean people need to eat". I reached for the goodies and tried to hand it the man. He turned his nose up and walked away yelling, "I'm Diabetic". He acted mad, like it was rude of me to be unaware of his condition and offer him a good meal. I think it was pretty clear he was only expecting cash. Both Melynda and I were completely shocked and didn't quite know how to react.

We set off down the road, passing Crazy Mary, the woman who lives at the bus stop across the parking lot from where Brad works. Crazy Mary has earned her name by yelling at strangers, trying to direct traffic, and numerous other psycho things that made us a little hesitant to stop for her. We drove by her and decided that we would stop on our way back if we couldn't find anyone else. We really wanted to find Tom, because we knew he would appreciate us.

We were cruising down the Nimitz Highway, and it started to rain. Melynda and I thought that the rain would lower our chances of finding someone outside and became a bit pessimistic. We continued to voice our disbelief about the "diabetic" guy. Our spirits were dropping lower with each empty corner we passed. We realized that what we were doing, trying to share our dinner with a hungry person, was almost as much for us as it was for the person in need. We wanted to feel good about our good deed, and we were pissed that we couldn't find someone to allows us to experience that. We were not being selfless people. We were just as needy as a starving homeless person. We needed to feed someone to be fulfilled ourselves. We were determined, though it might not have been for the right reasons.

We finally found a lady at a bus stop. We rolled down the window and politely asked her if she was hungry. She replied, "No, I'm not hungry. But, thank you for asking." We smiled and started to drive off (because the light was green), and as we were rolling away we think she was starting to tell us where we could find someone who was hungry...but it was too late. We were cruising again.

At least that lady was nice about it. But, seriously? How can our food be rejected by two homeless people. We had set out to do something good, and we were completely failing! I was distracted and accidentally got on the highway when we finally decided that we would try Crazy Mary. We had to drive by the first guy again to get to her. He came up to our window with a sign that read, "75 cents, please help the homeless". We thought about handing him three quarters, but just left the windows rolled up. I was mad at him.

We made it to Crazy Mary's bus stop and asked her if she was hungry. It turns out she is a vegetarian. I started to sympathize with her...I'd go crazy too, if I didn't eat meat for 10 years. Anyway, our cookies, water, stuffing, green beans, yams, etc weren't vegetarian enough for her I guess, because she passed too! What we thought was a kind gesture had now been REJECTED by three homeless people. What the heck?

Gabe and Brad were wondering why we had been gone so long, and Brad was calling me telling me that Sam was getting hungry. We had been driving around for 45 minutes at this point, so we decided to visit the guys that were working the gate on Christmas Eve. The two guards that were on shift, checking IDs to get on base, were very appreciative for the food, pie, cookies, etc. I told them not to drink the beer until they got home. :)

Melynda and I were finally fulfilled. I know that shouldn't be what it is all about, but we couldn't home un-empty handed. we tried so hard to feed a needy person, but they didn't need us. The guys at the gate needed us to brighten their evening, and we needed them to appreciate our gesture. I guess it worked out after all. The thing I just cannot get is how people who do not know the contents of our offering could refuse it so hastily.

I cannot speak for Melynda, but my heart took a little bit of a beating tonight. When we left the house on our mission, we were completely different than when we returned. Before we left, we talked about making a resolution to make food and hunt for homeless people on a regular basis, instead of just on holidays. I'm not sure that we will stick with that one now. :(

We had some wine and played some Apples to Apples, and were still able to enjoy our Christmas eve, but I don't think I will be able to get over the things that happened tonight. I'm thankful for the things I have, and wish I could share with others...but it's kind of hard to find people who want me to share with them, and that is discouraging.

Happy Christmas to all of the diabetics, vegetarians and non-hungry people out there. May they all find some other way to be fulfilled, if not by my yummy dinner.

Seriously though, Happy Christmas to everyone!

18 December 2009

Kylie, Kylie, Kylie

Just because I am writing this blog in response to my sister Kylie's plea for attention doesn't make it any less sincere. :)

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Kylie is my closest and most favorite sister (they are all my favorite in their own way, but Kylie is my MOST favorite). We can relate to each other in many ways, some of which might be embarrassing or incriminating, in which we are not able to relate to our other sisters...or to anyone for that matter.

Kylie and I are 15 months and 5 days apart. I never realized how close this made us until I had two babies 20 months apart. We share a bond that can only be shared by siblings who are part of the same generation. Aren't all siblings part of the same generation, you ask? Yes, if you consider generations to be the separation of grandparents, parents, and children. However, I am talking about the pop culture type of generations that separate Vanilla Ice, Salt-n-Pepa, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, and Miley Cirus. Our older sisters and our younger brother are just on either side of the lines that define the times of OUR youth. Though our relationship didn't exactly thrive during our teen years, we can still understand things about each other now just for having experienced those teen years together.

Kylie is smart. She might not have a Ph.D., but she could probably write a more grammatically correct thesis than many people who get to be called doctor. She not only possess the skills to use the English language properly, but she is just really good at portraying herself as an intelligent human being. Some people have serious problems doing that these days, but not Kylie. Even if she doesn't know what she is talking about, she can make you believe that she does. :)

Kylie is beautiful. She is very skilled with make up and make up tools, but she doesn't really need all that stuff. She has great skin, a great smile, and looks great with a naked face. BUT, the girl can sell some make up! Just looking at her flawless makeup job would make anyone want to purchase a bunch of cosmetics from her. She is definitely in the right line of work! In fact, at the swap meet on Wednesday, I happened to notice some awful hibiscus print "Hammer" pants. The woman selling them was wearing a pair. I made a mental note that people who are trying to sell a product should not wear that product unless it actually looks good on them. I've seen women at make up counters and wondered how they get to keep their jobs with the way that their make up looks. Kylie is NOT one of these people. She wears her product perfectly!

Kylie is witty. Sometimes I say something that I think is hilarious and she is the only one who gets me. We have very similar senses of humor, which I'm very thankful for. I sometimes wonder if I'd be as satirical as I am without her influence. I love that we can quote things that nobody else can catch on to. It sometimes feels like we are on the inside of one big inside joke and that nobody else knows what we are talking about, and it is great!

Kylie is the only person that never really judges me. Though this means that our relationship lacks a certain amount of accountability, that is okay with me. I have enough other people to call me out when I do things that might be considered inappropriate or wrong. I like that I don't have to worry about that with her. She just lets me be me and leaves it at that.

Sometimes I make Kylie mad, and I don't understand why. It's really hard for me when things like that happen, because I have convinced myself that I know her well enough to avoid things like that. I should be able to tell when something I say might piss her off. Well, nobody is perfect.

Kylie is not perfect. She has her faults and has made her mistakes (none of which I will be listing here), but she also has so many of the qualities that I appreciate in a person that it makes it easy to overlook the discrepancies. Kylie may not be perfect, but she is beautiful, smart, witty, non-judgmental, and the person who knows me the best in this world. I'm so thankful for her.

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I can feel that "Things I'm Thankful For" blog trying to come out! When I actually write that blog, it will be because Kylie did one and I wanted to copy her. It will happen soon enough.

17 December 2009

Christmas Cheer

It's 12:28 am on Thursday, December 17th. I just finished wrapping and boxing up Christmas presents. By 'finished' I mean finished for tonight. I still have lots to do. I had a plan to have all of the Christmas shopping done and everything shipped off before I went back home for Burt's wedding. That didn't even come close to happening. I really thought today was going to be the day. Nope. I don't think it's going to happen tomorrow either. I cringe when I glance over at the stack of boxes waiting to be mailed. I'm estimating about $150 for shipping, and that's not even including the heaviest box, which I have yet to pack. Perhaps, next year, I will send gift cards in envelopes that only require stamps. I hate going into the post office, giving them a bunch of stuff and a bunch of money, then leaving empty handed. I know that I am paying for a valuable service, but 200 bucks is a lot to spend and have nothing tangible to show for it. The thing that is horrible about Hawaii (which I thought I was done with once I left Japan) is that packages have to be mailed priority. There is no 'ground' or 'parcel post' shipping that costs 1/3 of the price. Nope. Even if the package doesn't have to reach a destination for a month or two, priority shipping is a must. Boo.

Anyway, despite my hatred for the post office, and my sleepiness as I'm writing this, I am still full of Christmas spirit! The house is decorated, there are wrapped presents beneath the tree (which smell happens to smell wonderful) and, as I typed up the Team Hayes Christmas letter last night, I was reminded of how much I have been blessed this year. I love this time of year, even though it comes with so much stress. It is so worth all the trouble of parking, getting the kids in and out of the car, waiting in lines while shopping, trips to the post office and trying to stay organized. It makes me so happy to walk outside after dark and see all of the lights. Christmas is expensive, but I can't think of many things on which I'd rather spend my money.

I feel the beginnings of a Things-I'm-Thankful-For blog stirring in my head. However, my head is ready for sleep right now. I am headed to bed with a heart full of joy and hopefully I will be blessed with some serious Christmas energy in the morning!

25 November 2009

I don't like you, but I might love you

I'm going to start out by saying that I hate running. I love swimming. I am a swimmer, not a runner. When I run, I feel short...like every time my foot hits the asphalt, I shrink half an inch. When I swim I feel long and slender and graceful. I hate the feeling of sweat dripping down my face, back and front. In the water, I might sweat just as much...but I cannot feel it. In the pool I do not have to worry about my gigantic milk bags bouncing up and down until they feel like they are going to fall off. I wore three sports bras this morning to no avail. Also, while swimming laps, I probably wouldn't have to experience judgmental looks from the two super skinny mamas (with their designer running clothes/sunglasses/strollers) who run by me every morning, too good to return my friendly greetings. Yeah, this morning I uttered, "I hate you both", under my breath just as they escaped earshot. Pathetic.

Now, I have a dilemma...or two. My Dilemmas are named Jocelyn and Samuel. Until I invent the 'Water Stroller' and the 'Double Water Stroller', I cannot use swimming as way to get in shape. I seriously have plans to get rich off of those products, so do not steal my idea. Anyway, I have to run. I don't want to run, but I will run because I cannot just let myself sit on my booty and do nothing about my deflated basketball belly.

I've been walking quite a bit, and jogging here and there. I haven't yet seen a doctor since Sam was born, so I've been taking it easy. However, yesterday I just decided to go for it. I walked up this huge hill in our neighborhood, as a warm up, then I ran almost two miles, and walked another mile to cool down. I hated every minute of it. But, when I got home and ate a tangerine instead of a pop tart...I felt amazing!

Today I DID NOT hate every minute of my run. I realized that I should be very thankful for the hour I spend outside each morning. I tried to ignore the shrinking feeling as my feet impacted the street and concentrate on other things.

**This hour is the only time of each day that both kids are awake, yet completely quiet and still. This one thing makes the sweat totally worth it. If only I had the energy to run all day, every day.

**My neighborhood is on a bit of a hill, so I have a beautiful view of the ocean just west of Waikiki. I love being able to glance over my shoulder and see the rising sun glistening off the beautiful blue Hawaiian water.

**It's November and I am outside at 8 in the morning, working on my tan as I run in shorts and a tank top. Honestly, people have to envy this about me. :)

**The need for one-armed stroller steering while running is totally toning my arms, eliminating the need to go to the fitness center and lift. I can feel the pain from having done this yesterday, and I like it. I'm not weird, it's just that good kind of pain.

**I get to think about stuff. I have time just to be with my own thoughts, completely uninterrupted. I think about my dad a lot because a Robinson flies over about every 5 minutes. I'm working on smiling when he crosses my mind, instead of crying.

**Each time I stop at a corner for a car, then start running again, Jocelyn says, "Eeeyah". She means 'yee-haw', but it's cute anyway!

I know that today is only day two of this running stuff, but I feel so good about it today that I really hope I can maintain this attitude. I have set the goal of completing the Hibiscus Half-Marathon for Leukemia/Lymphoma in Waikiki on June 13th, 2010. I know that date is far away, and that I could very well be pregnant again by then, but I am really looking forward to finding my pace and getting comfortable and confident about this.

I also thought that I should point out that I realize how much my blogging has resembled the blogs of my sister, Stacey. This is because I want to be like her in so many ways. I want to be like all of my sisters. If you look at me, I am just a bunch of pieces of them put together to make another person. I've taught, and will teach, high school like Jodi. I was in the Air Force like Amanda. I was/am a certified lifeguard and water safety instructor like Stacey. Kylie and I have so many similarities it's crazy (movie quoting and Grammar Nazism, to name a couple of my favorites). I haven't done, and will never be able to do, any of these things quite as well as my sisters, but I think that I am pretty good at being a mosaic of my older siblings. There are things that I admire about all of my sisters, so I strive to 'steal' those qualities and talents from them. This time, I'm trying to steal Stacey's love for running, along with her ability to boast a half-marathon completion and a rocking body!

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Don't you just love how you can tell that I am not actually running in this photo because the front wheel of the stroller is turned sideways? :) :) :)

03 November 2009

Cori Lynn Gentry : My Hero

Okay, for those of you who read my sister Stacey's blog, you will probably think I am copying her. Well, I am. But, I should note that copying someone is supposed to be the highest form of flattery. So, I figured why not do a 'Top Ten List' blog AND flatter Stacey, you know, killing two birds with one stone?

This is not going to be a weekly thing, like Stacey's list making. I just wanted to try one because it looked like so much fun. Plus, my subject matter has earned so much of my respect, admiration, and love that I had to express it somehow.

The following are the top ten reasons that Cori Gentry is the greatest (in no particular order):

#1 - Cori and I have never met face-to-face, yet she sent me over 20 text messages while she was in labor! How cool is that?

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#2 - Cori is very educated and knowledgeable about the things that she has strong opinions about, yet she won't judge you (out loud) for disagreeing with her. Well, maybe, but she will be nice about it.

#3 - Cori says things like, "to create the illusion of progress, I'm going to blog about packing... instead of doing it. I'll pack tomorrow... maybe." :) She is honest!

#4 - Cori made an 8-minute long video of herself trying to drink a glass of castor oil. She is capable of turning her pain and suffering into entertainment for others. I love that.

#5 - Cori and I have talked about poop, hemorrhoids, suppositories, episiotomies, sex, crotch pains, and worse...like we were talking about the plot of a Disney movie...yet, we have never actually SPOKEN to each other. Also, she is the only other person who gets super excited about cute cloth diapers, and that makes me feel better about my obsession.

#6 - Cori has an amazing husband, whom I have also never met, but I know enough about him to assume that most wives should be envious of what they share. Plus, he's in a band.

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#7 - Cori is a great writer. This is a huge deal to me because I really like her stories, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy them quite so much if she didn't use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation in her writing. Her exceptional blogging talent has even led me to overlook her occasional usage of the word 'prolly'. :)

#8 - Cori's son and my son have the same birthday!

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#9 - Cori is a trooper. She survived a super long and hard labor with a "that-wasn't-so-bad" kind of attitude. She has made me aware of how grateful I should be for so many things, just by being grateful for things herself.

#10 - Cori is gorgeous. She has a great smile and doesn't need hair extensions and false lashes to make pregnancy look good.

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I can't wait to actually meet Cori and her family someday! We are going to write a pregnancy book together, eventually, after we have each had a few kids. Look forward to it's release in 2017.