11 May 2010
I know you probably already know this, but the past 48 hours haven't been the greatest for me. Of course you know, because I share so many intimate details of my life with you. I appreciate that about you, facebook. You are always there when I want to share good news, or when I need a little bit of sympathy. You always provide a shoulder for me to lean on, and give me something to smile about in my saddest moments.
In the past four days, I have felt like crap physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My conscience has ached for mistakes that I have made, I have tried my best to rectify certain things, and I don't think I will ever be able to repay certain kindnesses that have been given me by some amazing people. Despite all of these things, facebook, I can just log into you and find something to smile about. I cried to myself a little bit on Saturday when I felt so crummy that I couldn't convince myself to go to karaoke. But I logged in, and there you were you to show me some adorable new photos of a friend's little girl...and that made me smile. Thanks for that. You always could entertain me.
You give me the ability to share with others, too. Unfortunately, you allow me to easily abuse this privilege. It's one thing to let me get away with posting too many pregnant belly photos, but you seriously need to step up on your end of this relationship and help me to keep my 'mouth' shut sometimes. Facebook, you have allowed me to abuse you, and it has affected others. I know it is my fault, and I should have some self control...but you are an enabler, and therefore just as guilty as me.
This is really hard for me to say, but I think we should take a break. Don't act sad, I know you won't miss me that much. You'll get used to me being gone, and perhaps even decided you really like it. I really like you, and I'll miss the games that we play, and the people that we chat with together, but I think this has to be done. Why? Because when I'm with you, the chances of making a complete idiot of myself are much higher than when it's just me. You take my witty sarcasm and turn it into something that is only recognizable as pathetic drama mongering. I don't like that! I'm so comfortable with you that I sometimes allow control to slip from my fingertips and end up regretting things that I say when we are together. You just make it too easy to type-type-type and click comment. My opinionated, sarcastic, off the wall, outspoken personality needs more of a buffer than that! Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's just good times...but I'm not sure that is enough to make up for the few instances in which I have caused unnecessary drama, hurt feelings, or offended friends. If I forget to act like an adult when I am in your presence, then something needs to be fixed.
I'll just come out and say it...facebook, I love you. I do. However, you have been facilitating my stroll down an unwanted path, and I need some time to think about what I really want. I have some growing up to do. I need to go to rehab, and I need to do it on my own.
It's not you. It's me.
It's likely that I will find it hard to get through my every day without you. You are my link to the outside world, my escape from being surrounded by tiny children. I will likely yearn for your company, and try my hardest to fight against it. Once I feel that I have matured enough, and that we can give this relationship another shot, I will have rules. I will not come crawling back, begging for you to forgive me. I will expect you to help me help you help me. Got that?
Until then, goodbye sweet facebook. You'll be in my heart.