Team Hayes

Your baby's shirt reflects your character

2012-02-18T00:10:00.008-10:00

I once found a brand new David and Goliath onesie at a thrift store for $0.75. The front of it read, "I only cry when ugly people hold me." This was funny to me at the time, so I bought it (mostly because it still had the tags and was less than a dollar). When Sam was about a month old, he was wearing it as Brad's grandmother held him for the first time. Then Sam started to cry, and I think I might have really hurt her feelings. I felt like a complete idiot for being so unaware of how my stupid and rude sense of humor could affect someone else, and for allowing that situation to even happen.

Since then I have observed many children in different shirts with supposedly funny sayings on them. I realized that these phrases don't relate to the children at all because the kids don't buy their clothes, dress themselves, or even read. But, these "witty" shirts say a WHOLE lot about the parents. Sometimes I think that people put their kids in shirts with out realizing what it says about them as parents.

For example, I am not sure that moms who put their child in this onesie:

realize that they themselves might as well just be wearing this shirt:

Tonight I saw a photo of an adorable little girl, a little girl with a smart and tasteful mother, sporting a onesie that read:

This made me sad. BEING A MOM IS HARD. It is one of the hardest jobs out there. No other job comes with as much responsibility, stress, fluctuating emotions, decision making, guilt, fear, and second guessing. However, most people in any other job are totally open to tips, advice, opinions, and just general feedback about how to improve themselves. Why can't moms be that way? When did it become a good thing to be so close minded and start villainizing people for trying to share potentially helpful information? If someone tries to hurt your kid or suggests that you do mean and dangerous things to your kid, by all means react defensively. Most people just care about you and your kid and want to offer you suggestions about things that worked well for them because THEY WANT TO HELP...because they have been there and they know that nobody can really do this alone. Why scare people away? What if someone has some really important information that you are unaware of (think formula/toy/car seat/medicine recall), that would help your child...but is to afraid to say something because of your child's "cute" shirt? Are you willing to risk the well being of your child for the sake of your pride? REALLY? Sadly, I know too many moms who do this on one issue or another. "Thanks anyway, but I think I know what is best for MY kid." Do you? I don't! Not all the time, not about every issue!

If you are going to put your child in the onesie pictured above, you might as well just wear a t-shirt yourself that says, "I know everything already and I don't care what you think".

Give people a chance, if their intentions are harmless, and you disagree, then ignore their advice. The "mommy war" is what happens when you strike back with hurtful intentions...not when they approach you with good intentions. :)

No Spend Challenge - Week 2

2012-02-15T16:02:00.001-10:00

Happy Valentine's Day! Best Valentine's gifts ever...tasty dinner at home with no cards/gifts and no expectations...and focusing on our love by committing to make good financial decisions and never let money struggles become an issue that can negatively affect our marriage. We have reached the half way point in our challenge, and though we haven't struggled much up to this point, I am still very intimidated by the next two weeks. I feel like I did when I reached the half way point of the Honolulu Marathon..."Hey, this has been easy so far. We haven't stopped once, let's take a break to go to the bathroom...." BUT then, you just can't get back into the same groove as before, and of course the second 13 miles is way harder because you are tired from running the first 13 miles. I hope that is not how this goes. Another thing is also similar, however....my determination to finish strong. I know we can do this.

Anyway, here is a daily log of week two:

Wednesday, February 8th:
Breakfast: Toast
Lunch: kids had hot dogs and canned pineapple, I had last night’s left over chicken and curry
Dinner: tacos, using the lettuce and tomatoes up before they start to get yucky…but they still look good
Today, Jocelyn and I made her school valentines out of stuff we already had around the house (thanks pinterest). I did some laundry, and all three kids napped at the same time, so I got some really good bible time in. I spent some time in prayer about about the kids, and our marriage, and this whole challenge thing. I felt renewed in spirit, and self control..and also, I think, in the fact that this was a good idea. Jocelyn has been earning quarters every day that she eats all her lunch, takes a nap, eats all her dinner, AND keeps the baby jail picked up. So far this month she has earned 3 quarters (she’s not perfect). But, she has been asking questions about why we can’t go certain places or buy certain things this month, and she totally gets what we are going for. I told her that we can spend a little money here and a little money there, and end up with a bunch of little things we don’t really need…or we cannot spend any money for a while, and save up to get some great things that we actually need…like a car and a house. She told me that she wants to save her quarters to help buy a new house!!! I told her that mommy and daddy would take care of the house, and that she could spend her quarters on herself, but that it is more rewarding to get something bigger and more meaningful by being patient. She seemed to understand, and that made me happy. Anyway, we didn’t spend any money today, so the cash envelope balance is still $47. We will need milk tomorrow, though.

Thursday, February 9th:
Breakfast: Sam-poptart Jocelyn-pancakes, and cereal for mom and dad
Lunch: PB&J and mandarin oranges for the kids, Tuna sandwiches for mom and dad
Dinner: Grilled pork steaks, corn and rice
Today was TOUGH. We ran out of milk this morning, so I knew we needed to get some. It is over $6 at the mini mart near our house, so I went to the commissary to get it for $4.70 instead. I walked there with my friends Stephanie and Kristen. It was a 5 mile round trip, and we took my three kids and Kristen’s twin boys who are Sam’s age. The kids were all great the whole time. We walked past McDonalds, and the “Any Size Soft Drink for $1.00!” sign tempted me big time. Number one, I was saving at least a $1 on gas by walking to the commissary, and I am saving $1.50 by buying milk at the commissary instead of the mini mart. The whole time we were at the NEX/commissary, I was justifying that giant $1 Dr. Pepper I was going to get on the way home, BUT it didn’t happen…even if I had tried, Steph and Kristen would have stopped me. I am SO glad they were in the commissary with me, too! Strawberries were on sale for $2.99 a basket, and they are usually like $5.99 a basket. Blueberries were $2, usually $4.99. Juice was $2. Fruit snacks were $1. And there were a bunch of other deals begging me to justify them…but I walked out with ONLY what I went in for, two gallons of milk. We spent $10 on Milk… Cash in Envelope: $37 (it’s only the 9th, and we are half way through our cash-yikes-but we shouldn’t need more milk until at least the 15th, and that $20 for dinner with the homeport ladies was a big unexpected/unplanned chunk…so $37 should easily last us to March 1st)

Friday, February 10th:
Breakfast: FUNNEL CAKES!!!   
Lunch: Spaghetti-os and the last of the corn dog muffins Brad took leftovers from last night
Dinner: Home Port - Kalua pulled pork and rice, broccoli, salad and fruit
We walked to the mini mart today to get a red box movie, because I got an email with a code for a free rental.  That was the highlight of my day (besides the funnel cakes for breakfast, of course). I fell down the stairs with Carolyn this morning…she is a-ok, but I hurt all over and I think I broke my finger. I am not going to the doctor or anything, but it got me thinking about non-military people who attempt a no-spend challenge. If I break something, or need urgent care, we can still go the whole month without spending. For most people, it wouldn’t work that way, and that sucks. These kinds of things remind me of how thankful I am for the benefits and opportunities that are available to us as a military family. We really are SO blessed. Cash in envelope: $37

Saturday, February 11th:
Breakfast: Pancakes
Lunch: Grilled cheese sandwiches
Dinner: Grilled BBQ pork ribs, pasta roni and green beans
We bought a bag of fun size kit kats before our challenge started, and we put it in the freezer for when we were craving a little something sweet. Well, it’s only day eleven and those suckers have been long gone for a while now. Last night for bible study I was rummaging through the pantry trying to come up with something for a desert…I grabbed a box of jell-o instant banana pudding, a packet of dream whip, and stuff to make pie crust. 20 minutes later I had two dozen banana mousse mini tartlets. I was pretty proud of my contribution because we usually like to stop at Anna Miller’s and pay $15.99 for a fresh strawberry pie (yum). Anyway, tonight we were itching for something chocolate, but I used the last of the chocolate chips to make cookies last week. THEN, I found the ‘CandiQuick’ wanna-be baker’s chocolate that I bought for like a buck after Christmas just because I figured I could use it for something eventually (just another example of how we buy things all the time with no specific intended purpose—just because it was on sale). Well, I am glad that we had it. I was also glad that we had half a bag of pecan halves left over from holiday pie baking. Then, I remembered the jar of caramel that has been in the fridge for like a year from when I made caramel apple mini tartlets for Easter! Score. Behold:

I also made Brad some chocolate walnut clusters with the extra chocolate:

Yeah, so I made Brad take our red box movie (that we rented yesterday using a promotional code for a free rental – BREAKROOM- try it) back to the mini mart because I didn’t trust myself to not buy a candy bar and scarf the evidence on the way home. But, instead we made our own yumminess at home, and it only took about 10 minutes! Envelope cash: $137 (we sold my old mattress today, and we put the $100 in the envelope, but don’t plan on touching it this month-we’ll see how that goes)

Sunday, February 12th:
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Tuna sandwiches and macaroni and cheese
Dinner: Chicken Katsu, rice and corn

We are starting to run low on some things that I thought would last the whole month. I have been buying an extra loaf of bread every time I grocery shopped since November, and had six loaves frozen at the end of January. Somehow, we are down to only one, and it is only day 12. We were eating lunch out of the house so often, that we maybe went through a loaf a week. But now we are eating sandwiches so much more often that we go through bread super fast. We are also running low on juice, but thankfully I have two frozen apple juices in the freezer. We always half the juice with water, but we are still going through it faster than normal because we have been taking it easy on the milk. I am starting to get a little worried about that $37 lasting the whole month, but if we run out of certain things, we will just have to be more creative.:) I cut Brad's hair again tonight. I hope to get better at it so that he will let me continue to do it, and save us that $20-$30 a month. Cash envelope balance: $137

Monday, February 13th:
Breakfast: Cereal again :)
Lunch: PB&Js for me and the kids, and Brad took leftover Katsu and rice to work
Dinner: Pork loin, PastaRoni, and steamed bell peppers
The kids and I had a great day today (see previous blog). We made Valentines for Jocelyn's preschool class for tomorrow, we painted, we went to the pool, and we did some other free stuff. It just felt good to know that I don't have to spend money to keep them entertained. Jocelyn has been asking if we can go to the movies, or if we can go to Panda Express, and other stuff like that. I love that this lesson for myself and Brad is also a lesson for her. It's also eye opening to see what kind of kid we are raising when we tell her no for a month straight. So far she has been very understanding..."Oh yeah, that's right. We aren't spending any money. I forgot, Mom." <3 Anyway, a big expense is coming up this week because Brad has to go to a going away luncheon for a friend he works with. He is getting the same deal as me...$20 out of the cash envelope. Phew, we are going to be cutting it extremely close! As of now, cash envelope balance: $137

Tuesday, February 14th:
Breakfast: Pop tarts/cereal/oatmeal
Lunch: Burger King and Charley's!!!!
Dinner: A roast leg of lamb for Brad (which was supposed to be enough for dinner and his lunch tomorrow - 1.5 pounds - but he ate all of it tonight)...and cheeseburgers for me and the kids...and corn.
Okay, before you flip out about the lunch description...check these babies out:

I told Brad that I would bring lunch to him at work today because we didn't have left overs from last night for him to take, I didn't wake up early enough to prepare something for him to take, and he couldn't get out of work to come home for lunch. I surprised him with a chicken philly cheesesteak meal from Charley's, and he was like, "What? You caved?" Insert sly smile, "NOPE!" I have had these two "free combo meal" cards for a while, and was planning on using them half way through our challenge, kind of like a "hump day" deal, even though technically the half way point is tomorrow (Thanks a lot, leap year). It was a nice treat for the kids, too. We chose a #7 from Burger King for our free meal...the 9 piece chicken fries. However, there were 15 chicken fries in there! Bonus. Anyway, We are doing well so far, I just hope the next two weeks go by as fast as the last two did. We are running out of things that we usually stay stocked up on, and my baking urges have been depleting our butter supply faster than I anticipated. The main thing here, is that we haven't spent any money on eating out, toys, clothing, gas, luxuries, or entertainment, and we haven't felt the urge to. If we have to spend a little bit to get more bread, or juice, or q-tips, it shouldn't be that big of a deal...except that we are super competitive and we want to "win" our challenge. After Brad takes $20 out of the envelope for his going away luncheon on Thursday, we will be down to $17, and probably be needing milk and eggs that same day. I foresee us breaking into the $100 from the sale of our mattress, which would still not be spending any of our February pay checks...but would be going beyond our original plan. Staying positive...thinking of ways to be creative. Cash in envelope: $137

...brought to you today by the letter P

2012-02-13T13:06:00.027-10:00

Painting

Perfectionist

Pout

Plane

Precious

Picnic

Peaceful

Peanut butter and jelly

Posing

Paparazzi

Protection

Pool

Pals

Pirate ship

Postpartum

Packing up

Park

Playing

Peekaboo

Pigtails

Potty training

Princess soap (+ Patootie)

Patience

Pretending ("Look, mom! I am a turtle!")

Pacifier

Puke

Pain

Pinterest

Pudgy

Proverbs

Penny pinching

Pork, Pasta, Peppers

Pork, Pasta, Peppers

Procrastination

Pegging

Punishment

Pecan clusters

Propel

Piles

Pretty

Plumber

Picking up

Pink

Pillow

Prayer

Pucker up

Paradise

Pulchritudinous

Publish :)

Perfect. :)

No Spend Challenge - week 1

2012-02-09T01:00:00.003-10:00

A couple months ago, Brad and I decided that we were actually going to do this. We had talked about it before when we lived in Japan, but never did the prep required, and really just didn't even want to try it.

Our spending had gotten reckless, and we really felt the urge for some accountability in the self control department. After this expensive Christmas season, and with an impending move, we decided that February 2012 was going to be our first annual no spend month.

This isn't as easy as stocking up on groceries to last you the next month...we had to meal plan for January AND February so that we could buy groceries for both months on just our January grocery budget.

We took in our recycling at the end of January and got $83 (the fact that we had that much in cans and bottles just shows how excessively we spent on sodas and what not throughout the holidays). I spent $13 on Wendy's (our last fast food for a while) and the other $70 went in an envelope on the fridge, with a goal of using that for NEEDS.

Anyway, I decided to informally document each day of the challenge, to include our meals and my thoughts on our activities each day.

Here is week number one!

Wednesday, February 1st –
Breakfast: french toast (bread-frozen, 2 eggs-exp 24 Feb, milk, vanilla, cinnamon) and canned mandarin orange slices
Lunch: Amy&Brad-frozen hamburgers with bacon, lettuce, cheese and tomato Kids-PB&J, applesauce and string cheese
Dinner: frozen grilled pork steaks (garlic salted w/bbq sauce), frozen corn and PastaRoni fettucine alfredo
MONEY SPENT today: $0 Brad took $10 out of the envelope on the fridge to go get a haircut (a 2x a month necessity for his job)…BUT, I convinced him to put it back, that we weren’t spending THAT kind of money on DAY ONE..and, I cut his hair!!!!! Go us. Cash envelope balance - $70

Thursday, February 2nd-
Breakfast: Pop tarts
Lunch: Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup…and applesauce
Dinner: Baked chicken leg/thigh combos, steamed rice and steamed asparagus
MONEY SPENT: $0….We did pay Jocelyn’s preschool tuition today, which is counted as a “bill” so, I had to take $180 out of the ATM (we only pay them in cash because they take FOREVER to deposit checks). Her tuition is $175, so I got $5 in change that went into the milk/fruit/need envelope on the fridge. Non eventful day. Took Jocelyn to school, went for a run, took Sam to the park. I got some house cleaning and some pilates done during nap time. Not feeling the need or want to buy anything yet, but we do have 27 days of this left. Cash envelope balance-$75

Friday, February 3rd-
Breakfast: toast with plum jelly
Lunch: left over chicken and rice for me and Brad, and hot dogs, string cheese and mandarin oranges for the kids
Dinner: grilled steaks, rice, and corn
We were going to go to bible study tonight, but we got into an argument last night that lasted into the day today (not anything to do with spending), and we were both not in appropriate moods to go be around people. So, we saved on gas there even though we had planned on using it. But we missed out on dinner and fellowship. :( Cash envelope balance - $75

Saturday, February 4th-
Breakfast: pancakes
Lunch: BLTs for the grown ups PB&Js for the kids
Dinner: Grilled BBQ Pork Ribs for mom and dad, chicken nuggets for the kids (though after Sam scarfed his nuggets, he ate half my rib!)
I drove the van for the first time this month. Jocelyn had another 4 year old girl’s princess party to attend. It was only 4 miles away, so no big deal. Luckily I have a giant bag of brand new 4t girl Gymboree bargains just sitting in the closet, so we just picked out a dress and a tank/shorts set for the gift…and I have one of those boxes of birthday/sympathy/wedding/new home/get well cards, so we were covered without spending anything. It was fun! We had to spend our first of our recycling cash today, as we ran out of milk and eggs. We went for a family walk to the mini mart after dinner, and got one gallon of milk and a dozen eggs for $8. Next time we drive somewhere, I am going to the commissary because milk is almost $2 cheaper. Anyway, we are doing okay in most other areas. Having to take $8 out of the envelope was hard, but we need milk and we knew we would be buying milk throughout the month..that is what the envelope money is for. And the only reason I am out of eggs already is because we have had French toast, and I made cookies a few times to pass the time. Cash envelope balance: $67

February 5th-Superbowl Sunday-
Breakfast- cereal (Cinnamon Life, yum)
Lunch- tuna melts for Amy and Brad, Spaghetti-os for the kids
Dinner- Mac and cheese and sliced apples for Jocelyn and Sam, and Super Bowl Party food for mom and dad (I made a chicken Broccoli braid, but Brad brought home a bunch of food from the party he went to today, so we ate that…and I cut the broccoli braid into segments for him to take for his lunch this week). The kids and I stayed home and napped while he was gone. Cash envelope balance: $67

{Three lunches for Brad}

Monday, February 6th
Breakfast: Cereal for everyone (we are going to need milk again before we know it)
Lunch: Chicken nuggets and left over mac and cheese from last night for me and the kids…Brad took one of the broccoli braid slices to work with him.
Dinner: Kids-corndog muffins and green beans Brad-frozen hot wings and green beans I cheated and went beyond the 'need' spending to go out to dinner with all the ladies from home port...and I had Prime Rib. Not fair at all, I know. :(

Sam had an appointment at 9:30 this morning, and it made the first half of the day more a little faster. It was only 3 miles away, so the tank in the Van is still full. I went out with some ladies, which was definitely not a need…but two of them are moving off the island for good this week, and it was worth sacrificing some of our envelope cash to spend that time with them before they go! I took $20 out, so the new balance is: $47.

Tuesday, February 7th:
Breakfast: poptarts/cereal
Lunch: broccoli braid for Brad, PB&Js and applesauce for me and the kids
Dinner: Crock pot chicken curry, steamed rice, and steamed broccoli
I drove to drop off and pick up Jocelyn from school today because it was raining, but the tank is still on F. We just stayed inside and did some rain day stuff. I got some sewing done during naps, which made me feel just a little accomplished. Nothing spent..cash envelope balance: $47

So concludes week one of 4 weeks of no spending. I don't long for any fast food or Starbucks. I can hear my name periodically being called from a distance, I think it is Gymboree. I want a candy bar, and I am running low on soda already (I am not good at rationing that stuff). I can already forecast that we will run out of certain things that I will want more of...but we will cross those bridges when we get there...as long as the toll isn't more than $47. :) I am feeling positive and motivated, and I definitely think we can do this.

Haiti

2011-12-10T16:33:00.002-10:00

Yeah, this is a very belated post. I started to write a summary/thank you letter to those who financially and prayerfully supported my trip to Haiti as soon as I returned in April. I have revisited it as a saved Word document on my computer many times since then, but have never felt like it was coming out just right. So here I am, finally getting around to expressing my gratitude on paper to print and mail with Christmas cards. It's kind of sad to admit that the idea of saving stamps was what it took to finally get me to finish the letter. As you can see to the left, there was a big gap in blogging on my part between February and June. It's not that I haven't had blogging hiatuses before, because I have, but this one was because I wanted to blog about my trip to Haiti and just couldn't seem to get my feelings out in a comprehensible way (before or after the trip). I started a blog entry a few times, just like I started the thank you letter a few times. What it came down to, was that I experienced some pretty powerful emotions, from both ends of the spectrum, while I was in Haiti...and I don't think I will ever be able to share them effectively without writing a confusing novel. I think a trip like that is something that you can't experience through another person's story. I cannot make sense of many of my own thoughts regarding Haiti, so I definitely can't get those conflicting emotions out in words that anyone else could make sense of. I reread my journal entries, and just pray and pray for the people there.

The trip was a life changing experience that I will always carry with me. I learned so much about my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my country, and my relationships with some of the people I have the joy to worship and fellowship with on a regular basis. I learned that even when you don't achieve exactly what you were aiming for, it doesn't mean that nothing was achieved. We did a lot more in Haiti than I originally thought we did. I allowed myself to get discouraged about the physical things we were unable to make happen, when the physical things weren't REALLY why we were there.

Every time I stop to think about that week, I feel something new. I will forever be impacted by thoughts of the people and sights we saw there. I plan to go back, and I plan to consider adoption from Haiti in the future, when our family meets the requirements.

Thank you, again, to all who wrote checks and prayed for our team and our mission. Please continue to pray for Haiti.

Here is the awesome slideshow that my sister Amanda put together for us, if you haven't seen it yet.

Introducing Carolyn Sue

2011-10-11T10:37:00.004-10:00

(Don't you love the shark fin hair-do?)

Brad and I went to the movies on Saturday night while the Paines watched the kids. I had experienced zero signs of labor up until that evening when I lost a little bit of mucous plug. I didn't get overly excited (unless you count posting "MUCOUS PLUG" on facebook followed by a few exclamation points). I figured I still had a few days.

We got home a little after 10 pm and chatted with Melynda and Gabe for about an hour. I didn't make it to bed until about midnight.

2 am - GUSH. Ew. Waking thought, "I just peed the bed". My brain tried to tell my body to shut off the flow and stop peeing...but it didn't work. Within seconds I was sitting in a giant puddle and didn't know what to do. I yelled for Brad, who was sleeping in the other room because I have needed an entire bed to myself these last couple weeks of pregnancy. I told him that I thought my water just broke, but as I was saying it, I couldn't even believe it. My water had to be broken by the OB with Sam and Jocelyn, after epidural, pitocin and about 6 or 7 cm of dilation. I never expected this to happen anywhere other than the delivery room...especially because I hadn't had one single contraction!

I wasn't sure what the protocol was for hanging out at home after my water broke, so after transporting myself with a towel diaper to hang out in the bath tub, I called Labor and delivery. They told me that there was basically a 24 hour window to get baby out after water breaking to avoid infection in mom and baby, NICU stay, yada yada. Basically they said to come in right away. I probably should have gone for a walk instead.

Melynda came over to stay with the kids, and Brad and I left for the hospital around 3 am.

They checked me upon my arrival and I wasn't even dilated to ONE centimeter, which I expected because of the zero contractions I had experienced by this point. I was so bummed that this was happening. I didn't even think your water could break like that, out of nowhere with no signs of labor. I always thought it was a load of crap when some character in a movie was just walking around shopping and BAM water on the floor. Well, I am glad it didn't happen in a store, because it wasn't a little puddle. I gushed waterfalls for hours and hours.

Anyway, after they checked my cervix of steel, they suggested inserting a balloon thingy, and inflating it to "help" my cervix dilate. I was turned off by that idea and told them I was going to go for a walk instead. Brad, went back to the car to sleep, and I walked around the hospital entrance from about 4 am to 6:15 am. While walking, and talking to my sister Amanda on the phone, there was another woman in labor walking with her husband. She looked miserable, and I envied her so much! I wanted to be miserable too! I still wasn't feeling anything. I walked outside, down to the parking garage and back up the hill a couple times until it started raining. Nothing.

Then, the doctor called me and said that he had to prepare for shift change at 7 am and he wanted to evaluate me again before he left. So I headed back up to L&D around 6:30. They put me back on the monitor and I was registering really tiny contractions (yay), but not feeling them at all. The new shift doc brought up the balloon thing again, and I mentioned that I would rather keep walking. She reminded me that we were on the clock thanks to my water breaking and that they really wanted to avoid an infection. I felt like walking would be less risk of an infection than sticking a foreign object up inside of me, but whatever. I was indecisive, and kind of argued with her for a a few minutes. Then she decided to check me...and I was at 4 centimeters! The fact that I had progressed 4 centimeters by walking for two hours made the whole argument irrelevant, and the balloon thingy wasn't even an option anymore. Whew! I really didn't want to do that.

At this point they wanted to put me in a room and told me that I'd have to sign a waiver if I wanted to keep walking around. I decided to decline the waiver, take the room and see if my contractions picked up. I forgot to bring my exercise ball, but when Cori reminded me about it via text, I asked and they provided me with a ball bounce on.

Brad and I watched the new transformers movie while waiting for something to happen.

At 10:30 am, they checked me again and I was barely at 5 centimeters. This disappointed the staff, who was in a big hurry to get the baby out. I should have been dilating more than one centimeter in 3 hours according to them. I started to get a little scared by their protocol of c-section if there is still no baby 24 hours after water breaks. They kept asking me if I wanted pitocin, and I kept saying no.

After being stuck at 5 centimeters for a while longer, I accepted the pitocin. And just under two hours after that, I was asking for an epidural.

The epidural was fine for a while. The docs realized that I wasn't dilating because baby's head was not engaged and pushing on my cervix. She was head down, but kind of sideways. So, they had me turn on one side, trying to get her to turn a bit. When I turned on my right side, the epidural drained all into the right side of my body (thanks, gravity). I started to feel contractions on my left side, then eventually feel them everywhere.

The anesthesiologist came in to give me a bump of something through my epidural. I had the weirdest reaction! It was like the drug all went into my face. I felt as though my tongue and lips were tingling and swollen and that I was talking funny. My head started feeling a whole lot of pressure, and when I tried to point to where my head was hurting, I couldn't lift my arms! They felt like they weighed 200 pounds each. It was terrifying, but it only lasted a few minutes. However, because of this reaction...they shut the epidural off for a while. Owie. By this point the pitocin rate had been upped a couple times, so the contractions felt REALLY lovely. Eventually they pulled out the epidural and placed a new one. When it started working, I sat perfectly still. No more of that rolling over on one side nonsense for me. :)

I think at that point it was around 4 or 5 pm. I was totally expecting to have had a baby by this point. I prayed a little prayer of thanks for the new epidural and how great it felt to not feel much after the couple hours of horrible contractions. Then, I took a nap.

I woke up a little after 6 pm, in pain again. I felt like the epidural was only working on my left side this time. I was so scared that they were going to have to shut it off again, and that I still hadn't dilated, and that I was going to end up having to get a c-section. I started crying. I thought I was feeling a contraction, but when the contraction was over on paper, I still felt it. I watched the monitor show 4 or 5 contraction over 10 minutes, but I didn't feel the breaks in them. I felt like I was having a 10 minute long contraction. The doc came in and decided to check me. Turns out, it just hurt that much because I was a complete 10 centimeters (Praise the Lord) and baby was ready to come out. I started to get really excited about discovering the sex of the baby, not needing a c-section, and basically just not being pregnant any more!

Brad pulled out the camera as the rest of the delivery folks were coming in to prepare the room for baby's arrival. He filmed this at 6:29:

Then, Carolyn was born at 6:32 pm. Here is what that looked like (not exactly attractive):

The time frame from being checked to baby coming out was the same with Sam. Both times, I was discovered to be at 10 centimeters almost exactly 3 minutes before holding baby.

This time was a a little more exciting because I got to find out it was a girl!

She weighed 8 pounds and almost 1 ounce. She was 20 inches long:

Brad went to pick up the kids and bring them back to meet Carolyn when she was about 90 minutes old.

Jocelyn is in love with her and wants to be up in her face all the time, singing to her and telling her stories. Unfortunately Jocelyn is sick right now, and I have to keep dragging her away. :(

Sam wants nothing to do with her. He won't even acknowledge her presence in the house, won't say hi to her, won't give her a hug, nothing. But he climbs into the bouncy seat and pretends he is the baby, as well as crying for me to hold him constantly. I am hoping he starts to adjust very soon!

Carolyn has been a very hungry little baby. She latched right away and hasn't stopped eating since. The first night, and last night she slept from 2am to 7am, but nursed for two straight hours before and after that period.

She looks adorable in her teeny tiny, girlie, cloth diapers. I will be posting more pictures on my facebook page soon, for sure. :)

We were only in the hospital for about 24 hours after she was born, and we are so excited to finally have her home with us. :)

We have plans to try for baby number 4 next summer after our move to San Diego is complete. We will see how that goes when the time comes, as I know I don't have ultimate control over that kind of thing. But, for now we are going to make the most of our team of five and the time we have left here in Hawaii.

We are so blessed to be where we are at in our lives right now. We are looking forward to new adventures...like doing a half Ironman as a family in June! I can't wait to start training! :)

Popsicles for the kids

Daddy and Carolyn

This looks JUST like one of Jocelyn's newborn photos!

Perspective

2011-09-15T13:57:00.003-10:00

I have been thinking about perspective a lot recently.

Perspective makes it really hard for me to be unhappy with small inconveniences, worry, fear, and my life in general.

However, it cannot erase any of those things from my life, or change the fact that my emotions are still affected.

Also, at the same time that perspective is helping me avoid becoming depressed over my own issues, it makes me extremely sad about so many other things.

Recently, I was freaked out about the possibility of a c-section. Yes, the idea of getting my stomach/uterus cut open was/is terrifying to me. Stupid, right? It would have had to happen to ensure a safe delivery of my new baby, who is a JOY to me no matter how he or she comes into the world.

Let me stop and put this into perspective for a minute. I have a friend who had her spleen removed in January, and will be having monthly medical treatment for the rest of her life to ensure her immune system is functioning properly. Also, today I babysat for a friend while she went to the hospital to have biopsies done on lumps in her neck...to find out she has cancer.

Now, what? I am supposed to use perspective to rejoice that my situation is not nearly that bad?

How can I possibly be happy at all?

All I feel is guilt for even being scared of a cesarean in the first place, then more guilt for baby flipping and being able to avoid a cesarean...and then sadness. I am filled with sadness for my friends who are having to deal with life altering medical issues that will affect them for the rest of their lives. All perspective does is change the joy of my blessings into guilt.

I am blessed to have many wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ who were praying for me and my anxiety about my breech baby. I believe the power of those specific prayers helped me to avoid the risky procedures that I was in fear of. BUT, what if I would have been having those people pray, instead, that my friend's biopsies came back negative? I can't help but think that all that prayer was wasted on me, when it could have potentially saved someone else from such a horrifying diagnosis.

I really don't think God wants me to feel guilty about answered prayer. But, it is hard not to.

I know all these things are happening according to God's plan, but I am sick of perspective. I am sick of easing my mind by contemplating the unfortunate situations of others. It doesn't work. Perhaps I am supposed to feel guilty, and I am pretty sure that I am supposed to feel sympathy and compassion for these other people. But, I refuse to do those things by comparison. I don't want to compare my life to other people's lives, whether it be by coveting their lives or pitying their lives.

I will examine my life as it is, and be glad with it because it is full of blessings, not because it has less severe trials than the life of another. If something unfortunate happens to me, I will be sad about it and eventually get over it with the strength provided to me by my Savior...not by considering my troubles against a scale of who is worse off than me.

I don't want to compare anymore. Isn't that all perspective is, comparing?

I also, don't want to offer perspective to anyone else again. I know I have done it plenty of times, thinking I was going to help someone feel better by pointing out how much worse things could be. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. If someone is struggling with something, it shouldn't matter how much worse someone else is struggling. We need to overcome the things that affect us negatively by examining our personal relationship with God and not by examining other people.

I am currently meditating on the old Portuguese story in Chapter 11 of "Calm My Anxious Heart". I am going to try so much harder to see things as they are, neither a blessing or a curse, but as a fragment of God's plan. I am going to work on patiently waiting for that plan to unfold, and be grateful that I get to witness it.

Gymbucks Math: $471.80 = $75 :)

2011-07-13T23:36:00.010-10:00

Okay, before I start going on and on about how awesome Gymbucks are, and how they work, I have a confession.

When Team Hayes first moved to Hawaii two years ago, my sister Amanda and her two boys (then 2 and 3 years old), came to stay with us for two months while she filled an Air Force reservist position at Hickam AFB. I got the boys dressed every day, and secretly judged Amanda to the extreme for being such a rich snob that every single clothing item, right down to their bathing suits, underwear, and pajamas were ALL Gymboree brand. I never shopped there because I am frugal, and all I knew was that they were overpriced, "brand name" kids clothes.

WRONG!

Amanda educated me about the super glorious clearance racks at Gymboree and Gymboree.com, and also about how to use Gymbucks. She wasn't a children's clothing snob...she was a bargain hunter just like me! In fact, let me just take this moment to thank Amanda for all the money she has saved me with her sharing of knowledge and products. Between turning me on to cloth diapering, and delivering me my first brand new Phil and Ted's stroller at 30% of (not off, of) the retail price (my second one was 100% free), and educating me on Gymbucks, she has saved me thousands of dollars to date...and counting every time I wash diapers or use Gymbucks. :)

Anyway, this is a quick rundown of how Gymbucks work.

-You buy stuff at Gymboree. I keep to CLEARANCE stuff only, $8.99 and under for pants/shorts, $6.99 and under for tops/shirts, and $10.99 and under for dresses or one piece boy outfits.

-You spend $50, you earn $25 in Gymbucks. For example, while EARNING Gymbucks, I bought the following 12 items/6 outfits for $50.14 plus tax (that's an average of $4.16 per item), and I earned $25 in Gymbucks:

-You bring in your $25 in Gymbucks during the Gymbucks redemption period and get $25 off your $50 purchase. There are no restrictions, all sale and clearance items are eligible. So, you can get a WHOLE lot for $25. You can earn them, but cannot use them at Gymboree outlet stores...but who cares, you don't need no outlet store!

Over the last couple months, I made three separate trips to Gymboree, all resulting in $50 purchases (similar to the one pictured above), 10+ clothing items, and $25 in Gymbucks. I spent $152 plus tax on 18 pieces/9 outfits for Jocelyn, 14 pieces/7 outfits for Sam, and a couple items for new baby gifts. It all averaged out to less than $5 per item (and that is not counting socks and hair bows and stuff that SHOULD be under $5 to begin with). I cannot even do the math to tell you how much the original prices of those 40ish items totaled, but it was close to $1000. Those were bargains...and that was just while earning Gymbucks! It gets better!

Now it is the redemption period, and I had $75 GBs burning a hole in my hand (not in my pocket because those babies were out and ready to go first thing this morning). The redemption doesn't actually start until tomorrow, BUT Gymboree Rewards members get a day head start on everyone else. ***That's kind of a key thing here. Becoming a rewards member is free and all they need is your phone number and email. You will get 30% off coupons in the mail/email that you can use on clearance items while earning your Gymbucks! $35 dress, on clearance for 60% off = $14 + 30% off coupon = $9.80. Get five clearance items like that, you are getting $175 worth for $50 AND earning $25 in Gymbucks. SCORE!

So, today I went in and picked out $150.11 worth of clearance items. I am VERY good at spending WAY too much time in the store, hunting through every clearance item to get the matching tops and bottoms of the outfits I like, in the sizes I need, AND making it equal just enough for me to earn/spend Gymbucks. Today was my best yet...just 11 cents over what I needed to spend. Not just anyone can do that. I am pretty talented at this. :) It was actually $149.12, so I quickly grabbed a pair of $0.99 matching socks for one of Jocelyn's outfits. These items totaled over $470 in original retail price (GAG). They rang up my $150.11, then subtracted my $75 in Gymbucks, and here is a detailed photographic inventory of what I paid $75 for today:

FOR SAM:

CALL ME CHIEF
Brad likes this one because, well, Brad is a chief. :)

RED MONSTER MUSCLE SHIRT AND SHORTS
These two items ended up being $2 each...originally $14.95 each.

TURTLES - ARE WE THERE YET?
I originally had this shirt paired with cuter non-shiny orange shorts, but then noticed after leaving the store that I got the shirt in a 3 and the shorts in a 4, so these shorts were the only size 3 shorts that matched the shirt that were on clearance for the same price as the other ones, for me to exchange...and it took me 20 minutes of hunting around the store to find them. Hey, I am dedicated to this bargain hunting thing. :)

I'M GAME
These shorts and this shirt, weren't 'made' to go together (from the same line), but I think they look fine together. :)

LEGEND
These weren't from the same line either, but hey, bargain hunters can't be too choosy. There are times when I fall in love with an outfit, but have to turn it down because it doesn't meet my maximum price standards. I want more for my money. :)

BIG BRO
This is the only thing I bought for Sam in size 2T.=, because we already owned these shorts, and the matching shirt that says "Lil' bro". And this shirt was $1.50. Everything else is 3T.

FOR JOCELYN:

ORANGE SHORTS TIGER TOP
I love the knit shorts like this, because they are always on clearance for $3.99, when the more expensive, 'cuter' linen ones are $9.99....but these come out of the dryer looking like this, and the other ones need ironing, so it's a double plus for me.

SOAK UP THE SUN
This outfit could have come with the much cuter matching denim cutoff shorts that were marked $8.99, but I opted for the $2.99 bike shorts. Jocelyn liked them better anyway, even if I didn't. :)

HIGH FIVE STARFISH
These ended up being $2 a piece also...and totally cute. You can't even get stuff for that price on the clearance racks at Walmart or Target, much less the selection!

BATHING BEAUTY HIPPO
This is part of the line that had an outfit I really wanted. The shirt said "little jetsetter" which is kind of perfect for Jocelyn...but the ADORABLE matching shorts were marked $14.99, which would have ended up being $7.50, which is above my limit for half an outfit
.

GREEN SHORTS
I was surprised these shorts were on sale for $6.99 because all the other similar ones were still $12.99ish.

ORANGE DRESS
This was the most expensive item I bought today. It was originally $35, on clearance for $14.99, so I paid $7.50 for it, but it is a whole outfit, and I justified it because Jocelyn REALLY wanted it. She was so sad when I told her she couldn't wear it for a year. Haha.

SOCKS
"The Kicker" These socks match a few of the outfits that I bought for Jocelyn while earning the Gymbucks. I needed them, at just $0.99, to put me barely over the $150 mark to use my $75 in Gymbucks. Originally $4.25 for ONE pair of socks...I paid $0.50.

FOR NEW BABY HAYES:

INTRODUCING ME
Uh, it's a giraffe, and it's gender neutral. :) There was a ton of newborn giraffe stuff on clearance, but I don't need newborn stuff AT ALL...and most of it was girl stuff, and I don't know if this is a girl or not (for this very reason - I don't need to buy newborn stuff)!

GREEN BABY BOY
I bought one boy thing, in case baby III is a boy. This was my biggest bargain of the day. Originally priced $29.95, I paid $3.25, that is almost 90% off!

ADORABLE GIRAFFE PANTS AND ONESIE
And I bought one girl thing. This could be gender neutral (I think) if the onesie didn't have a bow on it. I LOVE this set.

In conclusion, the original price of these FOUR items (14.95 for the adorable onesie, $26.75 for the giraffe pants, $14.95 for the 'introducing me onesie', and $29.95 for the green embroidered romper) was $86.60:

But, for $75, I got all of this (26 items, averaging $2.88 per item...not counting the socks as an item):

Who in their right mind would go into Gymboree and pay full price for anything?

There are two new boy lines out right now, one is lifeguard themed and the other is all Helicopter stuff. I want them both a lot! But, I can wait. Time is money. :)

So overall, in the past couple months, I spent a total of $225 on kids clothes, clothes that would have cost nearly $1400 if purchased at their original prices. And, the kids are nearly all set with outfits for their next size up (3t for Sam, and 4t for Jocelyn). If only I could get 65 brand spanking new name brand articles of clothing in my size for $225. Could you imagine?

Awesome Mom

2011-06-30T08:31:00.006-10:00

I am an awesome mom. Being a mom is my job and I take pride in it. I am very far from perfect and I make mistakes often, but the majority of decisions I make for my kids are good ones. They might be different from the good decisions of other moms, but they are still good. Saying I think I am pretty good at what I do is not an attack on other moms any more than saying that you are an awesome pilot/grocery clerk/doctor is an attack on other pilots/grocery clerks/doctors. People SHOULD think they are good at their jobs. And people who have similar professions SHOULD share tips and knowledge that has helped them perform better in their chosen profession. I can't imagine a pilot or doctor saying, "No, I don't think I am very awesome at my job." Yikes! However, I can still imagine them being open to another pilot or doctor sharing their experiences and successes with them. Why is that such a horrible thing in mom world? Why is it wrong to think you are good at what you do, or to want to share helpful ideas with others?

The "everyone mothers the best way they can" is a crock. There are moms out there who think it is wrong to feed your kids meat, but then there are moms out there who think it is wrong to let your kid ride on your lap in the car while you are smoking. Can those two opinions really be compared? The second one IS wrong, it's not a matter of opinion. I would never say about the second example, "Oh, leave her be. She's doing the best she can!" There are moms who point out where they think you are lacking because they really just think they are a better person than you in general and makes them feel better about themselves to put you down. Then, there are moms who point out where they think you are lacking because they want to help you and they care about you and your kids, and they want YOU to feel better about yourself. I hate it when people throw the second set in the same boat as the first set. When I give advice or make a suggestion to another mom, it is not because I think I am better, it is because I think they would like to know that there is a better/safer way to do what they are doing. God knows I am grateful for how much I have learned from other moms, with their solicited and unsolicited advice. I want to do the same thing for others, and provide them with the information to make their own decision regarding the topic at hand. I am not saying "If you ever want to be a super great mom like me, this is what you should do." Why do so many people interpret it that way and get mad or defensive? If you are doing something that you have researched to be right, and you see good results, why would you NOT want to share that with others? Oh, because you are afraid they will take it the in the worst way possible, that's right, because that's what you do. Sigh.

When I say I think I am an awesome mom, it is not a comparison. It is not me saying, I am more awesome THAN anyone. It's just me thinking that I am doing a good thing by thoughtfully taking the information provided to me from endless sources, considering it, and combining it to aid my decision making for everything from how I want my birthing experience to go, to how long I want to breastfeed, to what diapers I use, to how I install and use my car seats, to the clothes I buy for my children, to what I feed my children, to the kind of stroller I push, to our bedtime routine, to the type of music/television/movies to which I expose my children, to how I discipline my children. ALL of those things and more have been influenced by other moms (moms I know and trust AND perfect stranger moms). ALL of them. I would be doing everyone of those things in less effective, more expensive and more dangerous ways had I refused all the random advice of those other moms. Yes, sometimes I disagree with the basic principles of advice offered to me, and I politely express why I am not willing to do something a certain way, or just smile and nod. But, I will research to make sure that ignoring that advice is actually what is best for my kids before I write it off completely. The problem a lot of people have is thinking they are doing something the best way, without even knowing that it is actually dangerous...and then defending it with no back up. Sigh. What does it hurt to just look into what the crazy lady is saying?

I just want to encourage other moms to be more receptive, and less defensive. If you feel judged, clarify with the other mom before labeling her as "Mommy War mercenary hell bent on world domination". If you feel defensive, that is normal because we all think we are already doing what is right. Also ask yourself what is more important, your pride or the well being of your child? If what someone is telling you has even the slightest chance of being correct/smart/better. Why not listen? I have experienced massive benefits from just listening. Every mom should think they are an awesome mom, but part of that is being willing to learn and change! Nobody is the best mom, but why not strive to be better with the help of our friends? All of us have room to improve.

I AM admittedly fighting in the mommy wars...but on the GOOD side. :) There is no sense in being Switzerland when you can step out onto the front lines and help people, even if it means taking a few bullets to the back every now and then.

I feel it is necessary to pull this out of the archives (it's only from last year) as a PSA for new/expecting mommies: :)

http://happyteamhayes.blogspot.com/2010/03/passing-mommy-judgement-jury-is-out.html

Please don't expect an 'Awesome Wife' blog anytime soon. I am still trying to figure out what my deal is in that department. Off to read Gary Chapman for some instructions!

A story in pictures

2011-06-24T11:05:00.004-10:00

This story is called, "Why I Go To Boot Camp." It goes a little something like this...

Baby Daddy

2011-06-19T00:44:00.002-10:00

If we could afford a nanny or mother's helper, I'd have 15 kids with this man. He is the love of my life, and the loving father to my present and future babies. I am not going to say that I could not ask for more, because I do...on a regular basis (because I am a nagging housewife and it's my job). But, I could and would never ask for different. He's the only one for me, and I am beyond thankful for all he has given me.

I love you Bradrick! Happy Father's Day.

The cat is out of the bag...

2011-02-28T10:30:00.002-10:00

First, let me share my super exciting news...

I lost 8 pounds this month! So, When I started boot camp in November I weighed 155. As of this morning I weigh 135. Well, her scale said 136, but that was while my clothes were drenched in sweat and immediately after I had just consumed a half gallon of water...so I am taking off a pound to make my weight loss an even 20. :) I have only stepped on a scale four times since July when I threw mine away. All four times it was on the scale at boot camp.

Next, let me share my even more super exciting news...

I plan on gaining that 20 pounds back (and then some) in the next 7 months. :)

Most of you know that Brad and I have been trying for months and months to conceive baby number three. Well, once it happened I decided I wanted to keep it a secret. That is hard to do without lying when so many people inquire monthly as to whether or not you've been successful.

I had good reasons for wanting to keep it a secret (or so I thought).

#1 - I saw the two pink lines right before three of my close friends were about to go into labor, and I don't think it would have been nice to announce it right then.

#2 - I have an irrational fear of miscarriage this time thanks to the forums on diaperswappers.com and the unfortunate abundance of loss announcements (15% of my due date club already). :(

#3 - I am going to Haiti. I know there are people who would try to convince me that it is not a good idea while pregnant. I will see the doc the week before I leave, and I will trust in God to protect me and everyone else on our team while we are there doing His work. Period.

#4 - I was going to run the first ever North Shore Marathon on May 1st. I still haven't completely ruled this out, and at the very least I will be doing the Wahine Diva Half Marathon on April 17th. I have already heard from one person, "But if something happened to the baby, wouldn't you just feel SO horrible, I mean...it would be all your fault." If the doc says I am okay to do this, I really didn't want to have to listen to people who have not been to medical school advise me regarding running while pregnant. Now, I have come to the realization that I have nothing to prove to myself or to anyone, and the only reason I really want to do a marathon while pregnant is so I can say that I did a marathon while pregnant. So, we will see.

#5 - I knew the more people who found out I was pregnant, the more I would transform into "pregnant Amy" instead of just Amy. I don't like pregnant Amy. Nobody does. As soon as I am pregnant, and people know about it, I use it. I don't want to be constantly complaining about how icky I feel and how tired I am like I did all through my first trimester with my other pregnancies. Yes, I feel super icky and tired (Boot camp isn't the only thing that helped me lose 8 pounds this month, TRUST ME), but I don't want that to define me to the people who are constantly around me. The few who are in the know have already had to deal with pregnant Amy's whining, and I feel badly about it because it's like I can't control it, or I am just not trying hard enough. It is just easier to control who knows than it is for me to control my whining. Sad, but true.

If you catch me whining or complaining, please call me out. I am very thankful for my 'morning' sickness. Really. Feeling like I need to puke/pass out all day is one of the biggest blessings in my life right now...so don't let me turn it into a bad thing. If I can successfully get through a day of working out, shopping, and swimming with four toddlers/preschoolers and simultaneously deal with feeling like complete caca, I shouldn't be able to use this ickiness as an excuse to not do anything (though I have already used it as an excuse to not do the dishes once or twice). I know I can be sick AND capable (with a little prayer and motivation)! Plus, this should only last another two weeks or so. It stopped right at 12 weeks both of the other times, so I am crossing my fingers that I'll be consistent when it comes to that.

Anyway, the plan was to wait until May 1st, after the marathon, to announce that we were expecting. Well, I am horrible at keeping secrets, especially my own. So, I give up.

Carolyn Sue (?) or Julius Roy (?) should be joining us at the end of September...unless my body keeps up it's reputation of being a super cozy place to hang out, then maybe early October. :) The plan is to wait until the birth to find out if it is a Julius or a Carolyn...but we all know how great I am at sticking to the plan.

Currently, I am...

2011-01-27T15:34:00.003-10:00

Stealing: this blog format from Kaysie.

Reading: The Lacuna, by Barbara Kingsolver. I am almost done, but kind of bummed because I am reading it for a book club, and I realized today that I am not going to be able to attend the meeting. I am sure I'd would really enjoy the discussion questions for this book, too! (And, there will be a Mexican food potluck) *sad face*

Looking forward to: My sister Amanda, and her two boys are coming on Monday to stay for a month! Also, my sister Jodi, and her three girls will be coming for a visit midway through the month.

Stressing about: My house being a mess, like always. I have about 57 loads of laundry to do.

Craving: Yokosuka Gyu-Kaku Yakiniku. I have a feeling that Honolulu Gyu-Kaku Yakiniku is just not the same. I want Wagyu beef!

Proud of myself for: Consistently exercising, and enjoying it.

Wearing: Jeggings, flip flops, and a striped tank.

Avoiding: Debt, by trying my hardest to say no to things that tempt me. I suck at saying no to things that I REALLY want.

Sick of: The fact that so many people who try and try to get pregnant, fail, while Jackie-crack-head could care less about a baby and gets knocked up 3 times in one year.

Learning: Grace, forgiveness, and compassion.

Suffering from: Impatience, frustration, and lack of trust in God.

Struggling with: Decisions...all day, every day...and constantly wondering if I am making the best ones for the people I love.

Overcoming: Jealousy for those who have recently been more successful than I at getting pregnant.

Hoping to: Claim an extra child tax credit on my 2011 tax return.

Excited for: All of my friends who are expecting (even though I am also jealous).

Relieved by: The fact that my husband doesn't set the bar too high for me. Haha. On Monday, when I quoted him my most recent boot camp weight loss stats, he asked what my ideal weight was. I said that I would love to be 125, but I would be very comfortable at 135. He said, "I think 125 would be too skinny for your height. I think 135 would be perfect." <3

Splurging on: Travel. This year has presented plenty of enticing opportunities. But we had decided that it wasn't financially lucrative to do everything we wanted to do. So we had to choose which was more important between a mission trip to Haiti, a high school reunion, and a family reunion. We picked Haiti as the priority, but since finding out how much we will get back from our tax return, we have decided to splurge and attempt all of the above. It would be so nice to add a giant chunk of cash to our savings, but we decided that this will be the last year these things will present themselves, as we won't have to spend so much on these trips once we are stationed back on the mainland. We can save our tax return next year. :)

How pregnant are you?

2011-01-26T13:41:00.003-10:00

I think this question is dumb. There is no degree of being pregnant beside the fact that you are or you aren't. You can only be pregnant, or not.

Now, it would be okay to ask, "How far along are you in your pregnancy?" That makes sense. However, I'd like to note that different stages of pregnancy affect people differently.

So, there are six or seven pregnant women in Brad's building, but the parking lot only has two reserved parking spots for 'expectant mothers'. I guess there was a quarrel because a woman who was farther along in her pregnancy (not more pregnant) was irked that a woman who was not very far along in her pregnancy (still just as pregnant) had parked in one of the reserved spots.

I DO NOT SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.

If the sign says, 'expectant mothers', and not 'expectant mothers in their third trimester", then no skinny mama deserves dirty looks from a big belly mama.

Yes, it is easier to earn sympathy when you actually look like there is a basketball under your shirt. But, let me tell you, my third trimester of both of my pregnancies (even after my due date)was more comfortable that either of my first trimesters. And that is why I will start parking in the expectant mother spots from the day I find out that I am pregnant.

When I am feeling dizzy, like I am about to puke or pass out, or both, I don't want to walk a mile across the parking lot in the heat (especially when carrying one or more other small children). When I am 41 weeks pregnant...I am going to be hot and sweaty regardless, plus I will want to force myself to walk as far as possible to get those freaking contractions started because baby is overstaying it's welcome in my belly! Does this make sense to anyone else?

I guess I am just saying that I don't think I deserved those dirty looks I got when I parked in the expectant mother parking spot in front of the NEX when I was 2 months pregnant with Sam(and 10 pounds lighter than before I conceived). The reason I was skinnier than normal is because I barfed up everything I ate. Trust me, you cannot judge a pregnant woman's discomfort based on the size of her belly. I also don't think that the woman at Brad's work should get sympathy for being farther along in her pregnancy. If she wants the spot, she should get to work earlier.

Not all women get sick in the beginning, and some stay sick all the way through. Everyone is different, but I don't think it is fair to say that one pregnant woman is more deserving of a parking spot based on the size of her belly, when there could be many other factors involved. First come. First served. Period.

Round Is A Shape

2010-12-20T14:28:00.005-10:00

I have never before been ice skating without falling at least once. This is usually due to me thinking that I am a much more talented ice skater than I really am. Last night, I didn't fall once. Perhaps it was because I didn't try to attempt any 1/2 axles like I usually do. I did get to experience something else completely new at the ice skating rink last night, and that was sharing one of my favorite winter time activities with my two year old daughter. Jocelyn knew we were going to be ice skating in the evening, so all day she wouldn't stop talking about it, and how excited she was to go. Then we got there, and I was heartbroken when she refused to let anyone put the adorable tiny skates on her feet. This lasted for nearly an hour. Then all of a sudden, she changed her mind! We got out on the ice, and she didn't want to leave. She nearly cried when her skates were taken off. That's my girl. :)

Another plus for me, is that I am NOT sore at all today. This has never happened. Perhaps it's because I didn't fall at all, but usually just wearing skates and using those uncommon muscles will leave my ankles and legs aching for a day or two. I'm thinking this means that Boot Camp has made me a better, stronger body. No muscles went unworked in that class...and I think that prepared me better for an activity like ice skating! I cannot wait to start again in January.

The soreness from last Sunday's marathon was completely worn off by Wednesday, which was nice. Monday was awful, and I thought Tuesday would be even worse because usually day two is worse for me. However, Tuesday was not nearly as bad as Monday, and Wednesday I was nearly back to normal. My feet were not nearly as torn up as they were after the half marathon, and I am considering referring to myself as an actual 'runner' now! :) I think I have a little while to go until I am pleased with my physical appearance, but as far as being in shape and feeling in shape, I'm very impressed with myself. If you would have asked me at anytime in my life, up until about 6 months ago, if I would ever enjoy running, the answer would have been, "No way!" I am a girl who smoked for 5 years, the entire time I was in the Air Force. That whole time I was on active duty, I did my yearly PT test and not much more as far as exercise went. I might have looked better, but my bodily health was crap. It feels so good to finally feel so good! Haha.

Anyway, I hope I can concentrate on the healthy aspect of what I am doing, instead of getting caught up in the, "I want to be skinny" aspect of it all. After ice skating last night, I was reminded that Jocelyn's single biggest influence in her life is me (at least for now). I need to be a model of good health, good eating decisions, and smart activity choices for my kids. I also need to avoid being too consumed with my looks, to avoid teaching them about body image anxiety issues. These are all hard things to do, but I have found that the smartest decisions are easiest to make when it involves the lives of your children, and not just you. Obviously smoking, sloth, and Smirnoff were much more easily put in the trunk once my world started to revolve around my kids instead of just me. Though sometimes it will be hard to make the right choices, or even know what the right choices are, I hope that I will find it easier and easier to strive to be an example for my children in all aspects of life.

Don't be afraid to hold me accountable. :)

Miss me?

2010-12-08T16:01:00.005-10:00

I haven't blogged in a bit. To say that I've been busy would be a lie, but I have added some new things to my normal schedule. I have been running quite a bit since my last blog, training for the Honolulu Marathon (which is in 3 days, ack!). I have moved into a beautiful new house, hosted a couple parties, and decorated for Christmas since my last blog. I have been going to a Monday night women's Bible study for some time now, but Brad and I started going to the Friday night family version since my last blog. I have made some new friends at MOPS since my last blog. Also since my last blog, I have started doing boot camp classes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 0715. I don't know if you remember this blog,http://happyteamhayes.blogspot.com/2010/08/fat.html, but when I posted it, I was signed up to start boot camp classes on September 4th. That didn't happen thanks to my appendix no longer wanting to reside in my body. I even posted 'before' photos in the blog right after that one. However, I'm pretty sure I looked exactly the same at the end of September, if not fatter (thanks to my post surgery laziness). After a month of no serious physical activity, I started running again in October, then started Boot Camp in the middle of November. The instructor took my measurements back at the end of August, and today I got measured again. Guess what, I lost some stuff! I lost some inches here and there, some pounds here and there, and some other junk too (I'm sure).

This is the before and after according to her measurments:

Weight:
before- 155
after- 146

bust:
before -41
after -38

waist:
before -33.5
after -31.5

leg:
before -22.75
after -21.75

arm:
before -10.75
after -10.25

body fat percentage:
before -35%
after -32%

Metabolic age:
before -43
after -35 (yikes!)

I didn't get to participate in the biggest loser competition this month because my original measurements were so old...but next month? It's on! I still have a long way to go to feel comfortable posting 'after' photos in that same swim suit from September.

In addition the the joy I feel with this physical accomplishment, I just feel so much more joyful as a person lately. I had some serious problems this summer finding joy in things. I would get mad at complete strangers for really silly things, and I was allowing myself to be consumed by anger and frustration regarding things that were completely out of my control. I thank God for my ladies bible study group, and the timing at which they decided to do a John Piper study called "Fighting For Joy". I have found it difficult sometimes to fight for joy in certain things, but at the same time I have found it easy to be grateful for all the blessings that I have. My most recent struggle involves all of my amazing blessings. I have been asking myself questions about the lost and the unreached, and how God has allowed them to become so lost. It is so overwhelming sometimes to think about how many millions of people on our planet have never even heard the name of Jesus, much less had the opportunity to hear the gospel and become saved. The past few days I have had some trouble finding joy in the fact that these people are the complete opposite of blessed while I am sitting here with SO MUCH! I have been so happy lately, between surrounding myself with wonderful Godly women who hold me accountable, and all of the happy endorphins I get from my increased exercising, that I have seemed to forget about those who don't have so much to be happy about this holiday season and always. I want to challenge myself to continue to find joy in all that I can, but also put a lot more effort into praying for and supporting missionaries who are spreading the gospel around the world. It has been placed on my heart to take part in a short term missions trip this year, whether it be the one I am thinking about right now, or some other one I can join up with, I really want to bring others the option to fight for joy in God.

Wow, strange blog, huh? "Yay, I lost a few pounds" turned into some pretty deep stuff pretty quickly. I'm sorry if this caught you off guard...but that's just me!

I honestly don't think I will get around to blogging before the year is up, so Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to all of you. I hope you are able to feel blessed this season, and find some way to share those blessings with someone who needs them!

Ten things I'm wondering about

2010-10-30T22:36:00.002-10:00

10. Why did Jocelyn wake up crying for a half hour last night. Did she have a bad dream? Why couldn't she effectively communicate to me what the heck was wrong? Why did I have to feel so helpless to make her feel better?

9. Why are there husbands out there who cheat on their GORGEOUS and skinny wives...wives who work out, work hard, keep their houses clean, stay busy, look put together all the time, and are faithful and loving...while I am lucky enough to get a good looking husband who loves me and stays faithful to me even though I am not nice, gorgeous, skinny, hardworking, organized or even clean?

8. Why have I had no feeling in two of the toes on my left foot for the past week? Did I drop something on it while moving boxes or furniture? Did they become desensitized because of my ill-fitting running shoes?

7. How is it that I have a one year old and a two and a half year old? I mean, didn't I just help finish building a JAWS themed homecoming float last week?

6. How is it possible to love my kids as much as I do?

5. Will Brad be able to keep up with me in 6 weeks as we run the Honolulu Marathon? Better yet, will I even be able to cross the finish line in 6 weeks at the Honolulu Marathon?

4. Who is going to want to wake up at 0330 to watch my kids that day?

3. Why do some girls have to be so stupid and drama-riffic? And, why am I not trying harder to avoid being one of those girls?

2. How can some people get pregnant one month post-partum, while breastfeeding, and yet I am one year post-partum, no longer breastfeeding and still not getting pregnant?

1. How, even with God's amazing grace, can I successfully fight for joy everyday, even on bad days? Why does it have to be so hard sometimes!

These are just thoughts that have crossed my mind in the last hour. I could make this a "100 things I'm wondering right now" list, but I'll spare you. :)

God > stuff....but oh man, do I like stuff!

2010-10-03T21:16:00.007-10:00

Team Hayes went on a major shopping spree today. We spent a grand total of $3,627.96. That sounds like a lot, right? Well, consider this: In 2003, Brad bought the TV that we have right now. It is a 900 pound, 38", picture tube monstrosity that takes up about one quarter of the square footage of our family room. It was pretty much the last picture tube television ever made, and the only reason it wasn't bigger than 38", was because if they made a 42" high definition picture tube television, you'd need a forklift to move it around your house. Anyway, when he bought the behemoth, it came with a specialized TV stand, surround sound, sub woofer, DVD player, and Direct TV dish equipment. It was a package deal, and he paid $3,600 plus tax! Eek.

Today, for the same amount that he spent on just his TV stuff back in the day, we got a sleeper sofa, a matching reclining love seat, a coffee table and two matching end tables, a lap top desk, a chair for the laptop desk, a 42" LCD flat screen TV, a DVD/surround sound home theater system, a TV table, and two matching bookcases.

Everything you see pictured above was purchased today for the same amount of money that (seven years ago) purchased this:

Yeah, Brad might be "good with money", and he might have had the $3,600 cash to throw down for his TV and stuff back then...BUT, I definitely bring something to the table here. I know how to get MORE for my (our) money! ;) We make a great team. He saves the money, and I spend it...on deals!

Are you ready for the bonus? If you apply for a Military Star card, you get 10% off of your first day's purchases. Also, AAFES has a special right now...if you use your star card to buy furniture or electronics between October 1st and October 15th, you will not have to pay interest or even make a payment until May 2011. Hmm, coincidence that the only things we were buying were furniture and electronics? SO, Brad got a star card today. The limit was $3,700 (when we had already picked out exactly $3,629.00 worth of stuff, weird huh?). We will now only have to pay $3,266 for all of that stuff (10% off = $363 in savings), and we don't have to take a giant chunk out of our savings account to do it, because we can leisurely pay $600 per month and have the balance paid in full with ZERO interest charges before we even have a payment due. NICE! Credit cards can be a good thing...if they are used to SAVE money, instead of to waste money on interest charges!

Now I can head off to California tomorrow night (hopefully), satisfied with the fact that we have all of the furniture we need/want for our new living room. That's just one less thing I have to worry about when I get back, during those few days before we have to move.

Stuff makes me happy, but God makes me happier! I want to glorify Him, with my deals and happiness today. Praise God, and let me express how thankful I am for all the gifts He has blessed us with. He has indeed provided for us, by giving us the strength and wisdom to be financially stable enough to make purchases like this without fear of future indebtedness. Yay!

OCTOBERFEST (with a 'c'): Team Hayes Goes For Broke

2010-09-23T15:29:00.012-10:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I always look forward to dressing up. I love decorating for Halloween almost as much as I love decorating for Christmas. I am a little sad about the fact that I will not be able to put my decorations up on the 1st of October as usual. However important I have deemed them in the past, decorations are very low on my to-do list in the coming weeks. This is going to be a very busy, not to mention expensive, October for Team Hayes!

Here is the plan so far:

October 1 - Housing pre-inspection. This is when the housing guys come and inspect our house to tell us what we need to return to 'move-in' condition before we vacate. Then we have to fix all of it before turning in the keys, or we get charged who knows how much. Also, we are going to a laser light show/family festival type thing that night to celebrate the new fiscal year, and more importantly Pearl Harbor and Hickam officially becoming a joint base. Free food and bouncy housing? Yes please.

October 2 - We will be headed up north for TSGT Zach Weaver's promotion party. Woo hoo! But, before and after the fun, we will start working on getting the household non-essentials boxed up, and attack some of the things that we will have to improve before our final inspection (taking down curtain rods, replacing the bathroom towel rods that I removed, etc). Did I mention that we have to grow grass in our backyard before we move out?

October 3 - Pack for California! This particular Sunday is going to be a busy one. We will have to empty, clean and deflate the pool in the backyard, roll up and clean the tarp, and then plant grass seed. I will also have to catch up on laundry, and get myself packed and ready to mobilize to California the next day.

October 4 - I will begin the hunt for a space available AMC flight on this Monday. Amanda Foxworthy is getting married on Sunday the 10th, so I should be able to get on a flight with plenty of time. This is going to be a brand new travel experience for me because I have never before traveled with two full size car seats! So, my travel system will need a little bit of buffering and fine tuning.

October 5-8 - These are ambiguous days for us because we will either be playing the standing-by-to-fly game, or arriving in California, procuring a rental car, and heading to Salinas/Sacramento. Who knows!? It's always a little bit of an adventure for us. I would love to go for a walk with Cori and Kate on the morning of Thursday the 7th. I really hope I make it to Travis AFB at least by Friday afternoon so that I can join Jodi's bridal bowling excursion that evening (that will be bridal bowling experience number two for me, in as many weeks). Ideally, I'd get on a Tuesday late night flight, land at Travis around 8 am on Wednesday, get a rental car around 10 am, pick up a platter of Chick-fil-A nuggets, and head for Nine Months and Beyond, to meet Stacey and Ginger for an impromptu celebration of their impending non-pregnant-ness (aka baby celebration). Also, I need to see Glen McDowell to check out our family photos, and settle the bill with him so we can finally change the picture at the top of this blog! Yay!

October 9 - If I haven't made it to Salinas by this point, then I am likely in Hawaii, pouting about missing Amanda's wedding and kicking myself for being too cheap to buy a plane ticket. Hopefully, though, I will be shacked up at Kylie's...maybe even enlisting a babysitter so she and I can go out to enjoy a bit of our favorite pastime (karaoke!).

October 10 - Amanda get's married! Yay! I'll be leaving the kids with Aunt Kylie, and heading to Carmel, dateless, to witness the vows of one of my favorite people to one of her favorite people. Aw, I'm tearing up. I love love!

October 11 - The fight for a return flight begins! I love that I have family close by to deal with me and my kids when we get jerked around by the AMC system. I need to make it clear that I hold no ill will for the AMC system because of how it "jerks me around". I am actually SUPER grateful to have access to the opportunities that are provided to me and my family by the AMC. I guess I am just spoiled from all angles!

October 12-15 - Hopefully arriving back in Honolulu by Friday the 15th. If we get stuck in Farifield for a day or two, maybe another free tour of the Jelly Belly factory will be in order....or maybe this time I can catch the newly engaged Kaysie Herrera (soon to be Pino) for dinner in Concord.

October 16 - Navy Ball! Yay, dress whites for Brad and another reason for me to get prettied up!. I really hope that I make it back from California in time because the tickets are $60 a piece this year, it might be the last Navy Ball I get to go to with the Paines, AND the Weavers are coming! Also, Melynda just might wear my bridesmaid dress from Stacey's wedding! I was really skinny then, but not THAT skinny...and I am taller than her, so I need to take it in, put a new zipper on, and hem it between now and then. But, I can squeeze that in somewhere, right? Nothing makes me happier than spending time with friends, except for saving my friends money!!! Ha ha. If only I could wear this dress to the Navy Ball this year!

October 17 - Count down to move...4 days! Eek. I need to look for a drop in day care to hang onto the kids for the 18th, 19th, and 20th, so we will be able to pack up and be ready to move on the 21st. Yikes, I'm getting excited and anxious, but I'm sure four days is plenty of time to pack for a move.

October 21-24 - MOVE. Rent a truck, fill it up, drive it around the corner, unload, repeat. That sounds relatively easy and stress free! We plan to just load up one room at a time, then set up the room as it should look as we unload. It should go as smoothly as I am planning, right?

October 25 - Inspection on old house and turn in the keys. Good bye 1944 Nye Place!
Hello, 2725 Gordon Street!

October 26 - relax

October 27-30 - Organize, finish moving in, clean, DECORATE (normal house stuff and Halloween decorations), do some major grocery shopping, prepare the house and make a cake for Sam's Halloween Birthday Party...not to mention celebrating Sam's actual birthday which will be on the 28th. I can't believe he is almost one already!

October 31 - Sam's Halloween Birthday party! Costumes, candy, food, friends, and fun! Plus a little set up and clean up. Trick or Treating is going to be a fun way to end this month! :)

So, that will be our crazy October!

Now, I can't get carried away with thinking that far into the future. Here are somethings I get to do BEFORE October even arrives:

-Clean and organize for housing pre-inspection
-Do about 14 loads of laundry
-buy new furniture
-sew my lion costume and Jocelyn's Dorothy costume
-alter dress for Melynda
-get new brake pads for the van installed, and brake fluid leak fixed
-go see Beauty and the Beast at the Blaisdell Center
-get dressed up for 'formal bowling', followed by karaoke and half price Sansei sushi! <-- I'm really looking forward to that this weekend :)

You know, I was sitting around doing nothing today, and still felt overwhelmed with what the next 5 1/2 weeks has in store for me. I thought that if I wrote it all down, that it wouldn't look like quite so much, and maybe it would relieve a little bit of stress. Oops. Now all I can think about is how much all of this is going to cost...

* Honolulu ladies formal bowling, including bowling, sushi, drinks,etc = $60
* Beauty and the Beast ticket = $40
* fix the van = $100 deductible w/warranty (not too shabby, especially after the free oil change I got today!)
* new couch/love seat/end table/coffee table/tv table/tv and surround sound/computer desk/pillows/throw blankets/wall hangings/lamps/etc = $4000-$5000
* three round trip plane tickets from Honolulu to San Fransisco = $0 :)
* rental car for approximately one week in California = $200 + $500 credit card hold
* Sacramento bridal bowling = $40
* Chik-fil-A nugget tray = $50
* Glen McDowell's tab = I think it will be close to $500
* new hair straightener from Sally's = $100
* Amanda's wedding, including gift, drinks, baby sitting etc =$200
* Jelly Belly factory tour = $0 (yeah right, you know I'm going to spend $20 on fudge!)
* Navy ball tickets = $120
* child care for Navy Ball = $0 :)
* Uhaul rental = who knows, I've never rented a Uhaul before...$50, $100???
* babysitting during move = probably close to $300
* Oh, and the insurance on the van is due by Oct 22 = $318.10

I am afraid to add up the numbers I have listed above. Haha. I think we are nearing $7000 for the month and that doesn't even include groceries, gas, our bills (water delivery/netflix/cell phones/internet), or spending cash. Hey, but guess how much I'm going to be spending on diapers? Yeah, major savings!

I am looking forward to November. Though I will be hosting a ladies luncheon on November 14th, and then Thanksgiving dinner a few short days after that, I do not plan on doing anything else in November. I'm going to be a hermit. Oh wait...I have Christmas shopping to do! :)

Poor Brad. At least he will have some quality time with his birthday present while the kids and I are in California!

The pitter patter of tiny feet

2010-09-19T22:52:00.003-10:00

I have a habit of staying up late, using the computer. Actually, it is less of a habit, and more of an addiction. Brad almost always goes to sleep before me. I'm just kind of a night owl.

Anyway, throughout the last couple of weeks I have been considering changing my night owl ways due to something that totally creeps me out. There is a rat, mouse, squirrel, giant gecko, or other creature of that sort living in my ceiling! I'm pretty sure it's 'nest' is under the floorboards of our upstairs hallway, and DIRECTLY above my computer desk.

Eek. I can hear it right now, scampering around. As I type this, I am having to go back and fix all the typos that I'm creating because I keep getting chills and cannot type easily with shaking hands.

Ick. Last week, our rodent guest was hyper and was running around so fast that it was running into things and making other obnoxious sounds in addition to the creepy tapping of tiny claws. I was freaked out. When I finally went upstairs to go to bed, I couldn't sleep. I was up ALL night, staring at the ceiling, listening to the critter in the silence.

I have heard it nearly every night since, and cannot figure out why I have yet to call housing to let them know about it. I haven't been sleeping well. I have even had dreams of this creature keeping Jocelyn company in her bed as she sleeps. YUCK! However, when I wake up in the morning I seem to forget about it, then every night when I am reminded, it is too late to call the housing office.

I really need to start going to bed earlier! It's 11:00 now, and I'm going to head up to bed, but probably won't be able to sleep until around 1:00. :(

*shiver*

Inflamed

2010-09-04T15:08:00.007-10:00

What do you call it when you have your appendix removed? An appendectomy.

What do you call it when you have your tonsils removed? A tonsillectomy.

What do you call it when you have a gender reassignment to become a man? An addadictomy.

:)

So, I started having some tummy pains on Thursday afternoon while watching "The Back Up Plan" with Steph and Amy. At first I considered that it was due to eating too much spinach at lunch. Then I was bummed, thinking it was menstrual cramps (which made me sad because I was hoping not to have a period for another year or so due to pregnancy). I took some acetaminophen and then also some ibuprofen. No relief. I went to the bathroom like twelve times. No relief. If it's not cramps, and it's not gas, what is it? When Brad got home from work I tried to lay down for an hour or so. I couldn't even get comfortable enough to close my eyes. I finally let him convince me to go to the ER.

We checked in at 7:00 pm. At 1:30 am, after a pelvic exam, drinking 64 oz of contrast (ick), a CT scan, and lots of waiting, the doc finally came and told me that they were going to have to take my appendix out. They explained that I had a stone in my appendix, made out of poop, and that this what was causing it to be inflamed and swollen. How does poop get into one's appendix? Who knows? But, of course it would happen to me.

An appendectomy is a pretty run of the mill procedure. They are performed several times per day at any decent sized hospital. I am not scared of surgery. However, I really wanted to keep my appendix. I am kind of attached to it. In fact, at Thanksgiving dinner for the last few years, I have officially expressed my thankfulness for still having one. You see, my loveliest friend Melynda had her appendix removed in November of 2006.

Brad and I have teased her about it ever since, by bringing it up at Thanksgiving dinners and whenever else we could slip it in. "Melynda, you would have known the answer to that question if you still had an appendix." "Melynda, I can do this better than you because I still have an appendix." It just so happens that Melynda was the one who came over to watch my kids so Brad could take me to the hospital. When Brad returned home to inform her that I was no longer going to have an appendix, I'm sure she delighted in the sweet irony of the moment. In fact, I returned home last night to balloons from Melnda, one of which read, "congratulations". THIS is what made me sad about having to get my appendix out. :)

Then it got worse. I asked, "What is the recovery time for this surgery?" I was told that I could not participate in any strenuous activity for 6 weeks! WHAT?!!? If you read my last blog, you know that I have FINALLY found the motivation to eat right and work out so I can lose some weight, and just get healthy. I actually paid money for boot camp classes! Those classes are starting on Tuesday. Guess who can't go! I am not even supposed to lift over ten pounds for the first 2 weeks! That means, I cannot lift Sam out of the crib and carry him down stairs, put him in the car or the stroller or the high chair. If I lift anything over ten pounds, I might get a hernia! Great. I definitely don't want that to happen.

Brad and I were going to run the Honolulu Marathon in December. I don't think that is going to happen for me now. Missing out on 6 weeks of training is a lot! However, I really don't think I will have to wait the full six weeks. They told me to wait six weeks after giving birth and I was running before Sam was four weeks old. I know my body, and I know that I will feel fine sooner than they expect, but still. I am bummed about having to quit just as soon as I get in the zone! This always happens and it makes me feel like such a quitter!. I hope and pray, I will be able to get back on track just as soon as I start feeling better.

They did the surgery lapriscopically, in which they make three tiny incisions. They cut one hole in my belly button, one right above my pelvic bone, and one on the left side of my belly, inflated my belly with CO2 so they could see what they were doing, moved all my other organs out of the way, then pulled my appendix from the right side of my body, across my tummy and out the hole on the left side. My throat hurts more than my tummy does, and I'm not even going to have any cool scars. :(

On the bright side. I haven't had to take any of the roxicet (oxycodone) that they sent me home with. I am walking around just fine. I have a normal appetite with no nausea (which is why they let me out of the hospital early last night). I kind of just feel like I did 300 sit ups last night and my abs are a little sore and swollen. I can drive, and do other things that I need to do, while Brad deals with the kids. :) Also, the OR guys gave me a beautiful orange hued mystic tan on my very white belly (unfortunately it washed off in the shower).

I might milk it for what it's worth. BUT, I am going to keep eating healthy! I had a cookie with lunch at the hospital yesterday, but I'm counting that as my cheat day. We are going to go on a nice long walk before dinner. We are grilling swordfish steaks and asparagus. Yum!

On a side note, I got a little teary eyed when the pregnancy test in the ER came back negative. But, it turned out to be a great thing because I might have been stuck with my appendix and a whole lot of weak antibiotics because they couldn't give me anesthetics for the surgery if I were pregnant. Now, we are taking a couple months off from trying to conceive, so we can travel next summer. We will start trying again in early 2011. I'm sad that we won't be having a third child as soon as we had planned, but I guess this was how it was supposed to be. The doctors said we couldn't even practice making a baby for a few weeks after the surgery, anyway. :(

I don't really want to do this...

2010-09-01T23:14:00.003-10:00

Okay, here are my September 1, 2010 "before" photos. Yes, photos. Plural. I have decided to post three of them, and I will tell you why. When you see ads for weight-loss-whatever, the before photo always shows the person making them self look fatter with bad posture and a depressed facial expression. Then, in the after photo, they are strategically posed, sucking it in, and super happy. I could take both of those pictures right now! So, I did. This "before" series of photos includes one sticking-it-out/sad-faced photo, one just-standing-there-normally photo, and one trying-to-suck-it-in-and-pose photo. The three fattest versions of me are as follows:

Fat, ugly face, bad posture pose:

Normal, just standing there pose:

Trying unsuccessfully to make myself look skinnier than I really am pose:

Look how much I've accomplished in just 30 seconds!

I plan on posting the same series of three photos on September 30th (taken on September 30th). Here is to hoping they don't look identical to these ones!

Now that this is posted...I actually have to do stuff to ensure that I make a difference! ACK! Wish me luck, motivation, and will power!

Fat

2010-08-24T16:12:00.005-10:00

Some people might consider me to be fat. I do not however consider myself to be fat. I like to think of it a bit differently. I HAVE fat. I have a little bit extra here and there, but it doesn't define me. Though I will not let myself be defined by this word, I have come to terms with the fact that 1/3 of me IS in fact fat. Now, what am I going to do about this?

First of all, my ovulation predictor tests have all been coming back negative.

In fact, the little pink line (the one that is supposed to be dark if I am about to ovulate) keeps getting lighter each time I take a test. So, I am not allowing myself to get my hopes up regarding impending pregnancy. Instead, I am going to whip myself into shape so that when I try this conception thing again in late December, I will go into it not only looking good, but in the best physical and mental health of my life.

My problem with the Hibiscus Half Marathon goal, was that I concentrated too much on the goal of finishing the race. I SHOULD have been concentrating on just being fit and healthy. I didn't eat right at all, or even monitor progress. As long as I was going to finish the race in a decent amount of time, that's all that mattered. That was the completely wrong idea. However,I achieved my goal! Now, at least I know I can do something if I really set my mind to do it. I just need to make more specific goals about the results I want to see happen to my body!

Today I signed up for twice weekly boot camp classes for the month of September. I actually paid money, which is really unlike me because there are free classes at the base gym. Anyway, the classes include child care on site, and actual documentation of progress. I was weighed, taped, and what not.

I am 35% FAT! Technically, that is 'at risk'. ICK! Today I learned that I am made up of approximately 5 pounds of bones, 90 pounds of muscle, 5 pounds of hair/skin/teeth/etc...and 55 pounds of FAT! I do not like that ratio.

At the little measurement meeting I had with Christina (the boot camp chick), she also gave me a little diet coaching. THIS is my big downfall. She suggested doing (or not doing) things that I couldn't ever imagine doing. Not eating past 7:30 pm EVER? No freaking way! No carbs past 10 am? No freaking way! But then I realize that there is a reason that I didn't lose a SINGLE pound while training for a half marathon. My eating habits SUCK. I have always just accepted this as something that will never change, because unlike Kate Moss I think there are plenty of things that taste better than skinny feels! However, I have a new goal, a goal that will require me to do things that I don't necessarily want to do. Don't all real goals require that at one point or another anyway? I am going to try, really try, to follow her eating guidelines for the month of September.

I will take a before picture on September 1st, and I will post it ON September 1st. If I wait to see if I actually have results before posting the before photo, I will not be nearly as motivated to produce results. Hopefully, that will add some accountability.

I realize that nobody who reads this blog is even nearly curious about what I will be eating, or the exercise that I will be doing (I will be running for cardio three times a week in addition to the boot camp classes), so even though I will be logging all of this for my personal benefit, I won't post all of the details online. BUT, if you want to pop in and comment on facebook, something like, "Amy, you better not be eating any crap right now!" that would be greatly appreciated...because I need accountability. Be mean even! :)

This boot camp has the added bonus of competition. There is a biggest loser prize each month. Unfortunately, I don't have a very good chance at wining because I just don't have as much to lose as some people. But, that is not going to stop me from trying! I am very competitive, and competition is one of the best motivators for me!

Let's do it!!!

CRAP

2010-08-22T08:57:00.003-10:00

I've been using breastfeeding as a contraceptive, and I didn't even know it!

Blast. 98%? I only had a 2% chance of getting pregnant back in March and April and I wasted so much money (and hope) on pregnancy tests! Haha. :)

I am supplementing earlier next time...for so many reasons!

From Wikipedia and the World Health Organization:

Use of breastfeeding as contraceptive

The World Health Organization states that demand breastfeeding is more than 98% effective as a contraceptive in the first six months postpartum. This effect is said to be responsible for the natural spacing of children seen in countries where contraception is not widely available, and is thought to be an evolutionary means of ensuring adequate care is provided to each newborn. The 98% effectiveness applies only if three criteria are met:

1. The mother has had no menstrual periods at all (amenorrhea)
2. The baby is exclusively breast-fed
3. It is six months or less since birth.

* A fourth criterion has also been mentioned: The baby does not go for longer than 5 hours between feedings (i.e. while sleeping)

If one or more of these conditions are broken, lactational amenorrhea is no longer a reliable form of birth control. This contraceptive method is highly effective as long as the three conditions stated above are fulfilled. Further, the WHO suggests that a woman who is still amenorrheic (no menstrual periods) has a less-than-5% chance of getting pregnant in the first year of her baby's life, as long as she is still breastfeeding on demand.

Blessings and money. Have people forgotten how to count?

2010-08-17T11:03:00.011-10:00

This has been sitting in my blog draft folder for 24 hours now. I'm finally going to hit the publish button. Goodnight.

"My job is to get men to do what they don't want to do, in order to achieve what they've always wanted to achieve." -Tom Landry

"Accountability is a negative feedback loop based on positivity, victimization is a positive feedback loop based on negativity." -Adam Kampa

This is going to be long and all over the place.

Let me start this off by saying that I know I have MANY faults. I know that I am a greedy, materialistic, narcissistic, envious, sinful, hypocritical and horrible human being. But, let's face it so are you. There are many different degrees to these things, but they are all SIN. Please do not try to convince yourself that they are not, or that you do not possess any of these lovely qualities.

Greed = convincing yourself that you DESERVE things that you have not yet earned. This includes tangible things, like an expensive pair of sunglasses, a fancy camera, or a motorcycle...as well as things that are not tangible, such as the respect of your coworkers and the understanding of your neighbors. For example: You could consider me greedy for thinking that I deserve to have my opinions heard, when I have done nothing to earn your attention.

I really don't like the word DESERVE. None of us really deserve anything. We are entitled to some things, but that doesn't mean we have earned them or that we should even take advantage of them. God sent his son to die for our sins so that we could have eternal life. NONE of us deserved that, but we would be silly not to take advantage of it. Still, we should work to earn the earthly things we have been blessed with in our lives, and STOP trying to convince ourselves that we deserve things we are not willing to work for first. Please don't think you deserve blessings like meeting the love of your life, or coming into financial good standing if you have not made changes within yourself to facilitate those things. There are different types of "living in sin", and living in excessive debt with no shame or guilt is one of them. Denying this or trying to justify it is quite pathetic in my eyes...yet, I'm sure I will even get comments on this blog, of people trying to justify themselves to me. You don't have to explain anything to me...justify it to yourself! Just try! Prove nothing to anyone but yourself.

Having things that you have not yet paid for, means that you don't own them. How can you call something yours, when it is not. How can anyone allow themselves to feel good about that. It's what Brad calls "All hat and no cattle". Think about it. Are you all hat and no cattle? Did you take a loan out to buy the hat to appear as though you have cattle when you do not? If you don't have cattle, why is it so important to you that people think you do? Everyone is way too caught up with appearances. I have friends who would not be caught dead driving my car. Who are they trying to impress? I have cattle, people. And I don't need the hat to prove it. It feels good and I want other people to be able to know this feeling as well. Sadly most people will never give themselves the chance.

I have been super frustrated for the past month because of the bad decisions that other people make and the ways they try to justify them. It's gross. I really wish I wasn't so bothered by this. I really just want to get over it because having evil thoughts in my heart toward so many people, to include people I don't even know AND people that I love dearly, isn't any less of a sin than what I am judging them for. I know people who are praying for me to find peace with this issue, but I'm hoping that venting about it will help me reach that point! Unfortunately, my candid thoughts might ruffle some feathers in the process. Please keep a very open mind if you choose to go on reading.

Regardless of feathers, I have decided to just let it all out. I apologize if anyone feels targeted by what I have to say. I might use examples, but it's not like those people are alone, when there are thousands of other people out there doing the exact same thing. This is definitely NOT directed at any one person. This is directed at ALL Americans who are living beyond their means and not holding themselves accountable for their decisions: YOU PISS ME OFF! How can people live life thinking that they deserve so much that they have NOT yet earned! Some people will NEVER earn the things that they have. They will die in debt. What makes you so much better than me, that you think you deserve better things than me even when you cannot afford them? You might think that I am over reacting here, but I am hurt! My feelings are hurt when you go out and buy a brand new car while my husband is driving a $900 car, but he makes twice as much money as you. Do you really need that status? Do you have yourself convinced that you DESERVE it? Why don't I deserve it? What are you saying about me? I can tell you that I am happy with what I have. I count my blessings every day and try my best not to take all of the excesses that we have for granted. What does that say about you? You have to have an expensive purse and a fancy car to be happy? That is SAD. Now, if you are making $250,000 a year, by all means go ahead and have a fancy purse and a new Mercedes...and be happy with those things. If you are making $40,000 a year with a family...who are you kidding? How can you live in that kind of sin and be completely unaware of it? Do you really think that people can’t see how materialistic you are? Having a new car now is honestly more important than stability of your family's financial future? That is what you are saying to me. You don't see it, and you will refuse to see it, but it makes you look bad. It makes me sad that most people just don't care, and will tell themselves that they aren't doing anything wrong. However, I can say without a doubt, that I am not the only person who feels this way. I just might be the only one speaking up about it. If you really care what people think about you (which is why you live beyond your means in the first place), consider that many people are thinking the things that I am saying right now. People are just too afraid to address this subject because they have the attitude, "whatever, it's not my problem." Well, it is my problem. It's my problem because I sincerely care about the stability of your financial future, and your happiness in the long run.

Brad and I live in E-6 and below military housing. It is safe to say that we know pretty close to what our neighbors make (assuming none of them have been left hefty inheritances). There was a time, before we got two sets of lovely new neighbors, when our neighbors to the right had a new BMW, and our neighbors to the left had a Porsche Cayenne. Brad is an E-7 and he drives a 1997 Mitsubishi Galant, and I drive a 2002 Ford Windstar. Something is absolutely wrong with that picture. Don't you agree? And those neighbors with $500 car payments are the ones complaining about the Military, and how they don’t pay well enough! Seriously? Are you incapable of being thankful for anything? The Navy is the best thing that ever happened to you!

What? You say you aren't hurting anyone? Why should I let this bother me so much? THESE people ARE hurting EVERYONE! Why do you think the economy is falling apart? It's because people make stupid financial decisions, buy things they cannot afford, do not save for worse case scenarios and then complain, cry and blame someone else when the sh** hits the fan. It is really hard for me to feel sympathy for people who are victims of their own bad decisions. In fact, people who are victims of their own decisions shouldn't be considered victims at all! I heard about 100 too many commercials for debt consolidation and bankruptcy when I spent 30 hours in the car last month. Those commercials can be to blame for this blog because they are what really got me all fired up. I am literally sickened by how these commercials victimize people who are essentially criminals! People who claim bankruptcy because they have car payments and mortgages that they cannot afford, have court judgments against them because they have broken the law or betrayed someone, or have 40 thousand dollars in credit card debt (while watching their 50" LED TVs from their $2000 leather couch and driving their $30,000 cars) ARE NOT VICTIMS! Gag. These people are hurting others. Someone has to pick up the tab! Do they really think that they are faultless and innocent in all of this? Do they really think people are going to listen and believe them when they try to justify themselves with a sob story? The sad answer to that is, Yes! Our society encourages this kind of thing and it makes feel sick.

What about Miss Smith? She should be in jail! As far as I am concerned she is guilty of criminal destruction of property. She destroyed our house, caused $13,000 worth of damage, and caused us to lose over $4,000 in rent as it sat empty while we returned it to a status in which it could be rented again...FROM JAPAN. We won a $17,000 court judgment against her after investing a couple grand in a lawyer. She owes us over $17,000!!! But, she is a victim. Her life is so horrible because people keep filing wage garnishments against her (not us unfortunately, we are still in line for that). Poor little thing! Why doesn't she just claim bankruptcy? Hallelujah, that's the answer! She can be saved from the harassment of bill collectors with one easy phone call to the bankruptcy lawyer hot line. My skin is crawling. We will never see a penny for the financial and emotional inconveniences she has caused us, which includes putting a strain on our marriage...which is embarrassing to admit because she should have ZERO control over that!

Don't even get me started on Lynn What's-her-face from that whole truck deal in Omaha. I'm pretty sure that her life sucks big time right now (which is what I was trying to help her avoid, but she turned her back on me and didn't honor our contract). There was a time when I looked at Lynn with a "poor thing" point of view. I invested a lot of money and a sincere friendship in order to help her. That backfired and I might have lost some money, but she is the one who lost out on a great friend and the potential of a better life for herself. Yes, her parents influenced her away from me...but you know what, it was still her decision to make and it is really hard for me to find sympathy in my heart for liars. She took advantage of me, plain and simple. And what did that teach me? Don’t be friendly and sympathetic unless you wanted to get hurt. Great.

The good news is that we could afford Lynn and Miss Smith. Lynn was my fault, I stepped willingly into that flooded pothole, but if Miss Smith happened to you, could you afford that? If faced with sudden unfortunate financial circumstances that were out of your control, would you say, "Why is this happening to me? How am I going to afford this?" Owning a home is a huge responsibility, and as much as people want to blame banks for handing out money like candy to people who cannot really afford a mortgage (much less the countless other financial strains that could arise for a homeowner), people need to realize what they are getting into and PREPARE for it before they make a big financial decision like buying a house! Now, there are so many different levels to this...nobody can really prepare for their $600,000 house to suddenly only be worth $300,000 while they are not even living in it! And the banks aren't innocent either. However, it's the people who don't care, or who don't think they have a responsibility to make payments on something that they signed their name to, swearing to make payments. You, my friends are not victims.

Perhaps I am just weak and jealous. I cannot handle seeing the stay at home wife of an E-3, who is 19 years old and pregnant with her third child, driving a $30,000 minivan, buying everything in sight, and pushing a $700 stroller because she "deserves it with this one" and "It's what's best for my kids". I CANNOT STAND THIS KIND OF THING! Are you saying that my van is not good enough for my kids? Really? Yes, your van is quite nice, but I am not looking at it with envy. I don't want your van! I am content with my van because it is what we have earned, and I am proud of that. I am proud to have paid cash for it and not be throwing away money on interest, when that money could be saved for more important things. It might not be new, or beautiful, or under warranty, but it has been a good car and it is what we could afford with the cash in our pockets. I think it is shameful to drive something that so ultimately betrays your earnings. You are misrepresenting yourself. That is NOT what is best for your kids. What is best for your kids is not being a greedy, materialistic person who puts the financial stability of their family at stake for things that you just had to have now, "because it will be worth it". Define worth. You can't can you? You never know what the worth of something will be in the long run, until you get to the end of the long run. Then, when it turns out not to be not so "worth it", it will be too late. I don't ever want to see my friends and family come to this realization!

Let me set this straight. I have a $500 stroller...two of them actually. However I would not even have one of them if I had to pay full price for them. The first one was brand new from my sister for $200 because the company mailed it to her by mistake and told her to keep it. Then the Air Force broke that one, and bought me a new one. Brad rigged up the old broken one so that it could hold the kids, but it will not fold up or go in the van or anything. So, I might look spoiled with my $1000 worth of strollers, one for the park and one for the van...but you are OUT OF YOUR MIND if you think I would by a $500 stroller, much less two of them. I am way too cheap for that.

Speaking of cheap. Why do people always view "cheap" as a word with such a negative connotation. If you don't have the cash in the bank to buy the purse, car, clothing, computer, etc that you desire...don't get it. Period. Why aren't people capable of that? Why should people who are frugal be looked down upon? What gives everyone else this sense of entitlement? Seriously. I once knew a girl who went to the bank and took out a $2000 personal loan to buy a Louis Vuitton bag! Why would anyone spend so much money on something to hold their money, when they don't have any money? That's nuts right? Well, putting a $300 coach bag on a credit card is essentially the same thing.

You, with $50,000 in consumer debt. Why are you complaining about the economy? This is your fault!

Yes, I said it.

And WIC? Oh man I hate WIC. I used to love WIC because, hey it was free and I was entitled to it. Then I realized that someone had to pay for it! Yes, I was on WIC when I could have afforded to buy my own groceries. I am ashamed to admit it. I took advantage of it because it was offered, and I could. Who doesn't like free stuff, right? Well, it's not free. I couldn't handle someone else being forced to pay for my milk and cheese any longer, so I stopped. WIC is great for people with low income, who use it as the nutrition education program that it is meant to be, and then apply their savings to things that they need to survive. If I paid taxes, I wouldn't mind contributing to a program in which people who really needed food for their babies, could have food for their babies. However, if you are driving an expensive car, wearing $60 jeans, and carrying a $150 hand bag...do you really need someone else to buy your groceries? Like I said before, I am greedy and materialistic too. I am not innocent of any of the things that I am complaining about. I need to change too, just not nearly as much as some other folks. I am not saying that everyone on WIC is lacking morals, but really stop and think...can you afford your own groceries? If so, why are you making someone else pay for them? Do you not feel as though that is wrong?

You don’t need to tell me that I am a hypocrite. I already know. I am guilty of every single one of the things that has pissed me off this past month. Yup, but I can admit it was disgusting and I now know that it was wrong (for the most part). That is what gives me hope for everyone else. Hope for everyone else is part of why I am writing this blog. I have hope that maybe some people will look in the mirror and start being smarter, more grateful, and less worried about status. When I was 21, I had four credit cards, with a combined balance of $4500...maxed out. I owed a good friend about $1500 for helping me out multiple times when I really needed it (like when I couldn’t pay for my insurance, because my whole check went to my stupid huge car payment), I owed my mom $5000, and had just borrowed $16,000 from my dad. Oh and then there was the balance that I owed on my $32,000 SUV that I HAD to have when I was 18. Disgusting right? Yes it was. And it still would be if someone didn't tell me I was being ridiculous! Thank God for Brad! Believe me when I say that I know how hard it is to come to terms with the fact that I was being irresponsible and stupid. Brad had to give me a lesson that I didn't want to hear. I wanted to justify every purchase that he told me that I could live without. Thank God I finally got a clue! I might sound like a giant hypocrite here (because I am), but if I can pull myself out of that confused cloud of abusive consumerism, YOU CAN TOO. That is why I am saying all of this! Stop denying that you are doing anything wrong and CHANGE! It's never too late! Yes, I've been there and been just as bad as anyone... BUT I was single and didn't have a family to plan a future for. If I got in too deep, I wasn’t taking my innocent kids down with me. I am so glad that I can now focus on providing for my family, not with instant gratification, name brand clothes, $350 car seats, and a $35,000 SUV...but with a secure future. A debt free present and future! When your kid is 18, do you think they are going to prefer having had a Barbie Jeep Power Wheel when they were 4, or $500 in a savings account to help them go to college?

I paid my friend back the $1500 and then some as soon as I got the loan from my dad. I also got lucky. My mom cleared my debt with her (which I always thought was kind of bogus anyway), Brad paid off and canceled my credit cards after we got married, and we wrote my dad a monthly check to pay him off (which we did over a year early with $2000 in interest). It felt really good to be free of that past. I didn't have to work as hard as some people to clear that debt, because I was lucky enough to marry someone who was very money smart, and proud of the fact that he had never had a credit card, or even bought anything that he didn't have the cash in his pocket for (except his house, of course). I am more thankful for that than anyone will ever know! Even though, everyone cannot be lucky enough to marry someone like that, you can get the same help from someone if you really want it. You can become that person that Brad is (financially). If you can't hold yourself accountable, find someone who will. Even after Brad helped me clear my debt, I still struggled with wanting things that I hadn't earned. I got really mad at him for saying no to me so many times. I got defensive, felt judged, and called him names (I have a feeling some of you reading this are feeling the same way about me right now). But it NEEDED To happen for me to get on the right track. So, if you hate me right now, that's okay. If you think I hate you, you are dead wrong. Yes, I am pissed off by some of the decisions that people make, but I wouldn't let it bother me so much if I really didn't care about their future (except for Miss Smith, I honestly don't care if she ends up unhappy). I get mad because I want certain people to be happy, and I think they are confused about what will make them truly happy.

I am not saying don’t get a college loan, or a home loan, a small business loan, or even a car loan. I'm just saying that you should have a plan in place to be able to pay for these things. Then, you should have a back up plan, and another back up plan. All of these plans involve savings. Protect yourself, people! Be smart!

Credit abuse is a learned habit. Do you want your kids to be independent and smart with money, or struggling to get everything paid on time each month? Teaching them that it is OKAY to not always have the finer things in life is a very important lesson! Who are the Jonses anyway? I bet they have massive amounts of debt! Stop trying to keep up, and make your own pace.

Sacrifice? Can you define sacrifice? I'd like to try. Let’s look at this sentence.

Amy and Brad Hayes had a very happy and wealthy retirement because of sacrifices that they made when they were a young family.

Nope, I don't think that is the proper use of the word. I don't think we are sacrificing anything! Sacrifice is doing without. Yes, we are doing without things like new vehicles, new furniture, cable, laptops, fancy phones, etc...BUT, we are definitely not doing WITHOUT. I think we have a very good standard of living, even with saving over $1000 each month. Yes, that is a lot to save...but we still have more than enough to live on. We are not giving up anything that is not easy to live without. Are there sometimes things that I wish I had, but have to turn down? YES!!! But it is easy to do when I realize what is really important to me.

What is important to you? Really ask yourself that. If your sincere answer is that those jeans, that car, this name brand purse/makeup/jewelry/sunglasses, a big TV with satellite sports and movie channels, what other people think about your furniture and home decor, etc is what really makes you happy in life...that's totally fine.....if you have the money in the bank for those things. If you don't have the money, but you still feel as though you DESERVE those things...I feel sorry for you. Even if you don't plan on paying for your kids to go to college (why wouldn't you, if you could?), having savings for emergencies and just raising your kids to use credit responsibly is enough of a reason to change your habits.

When I ask myself what is really important, these are my answers:

-Making my husband happy, and proud of me (since it is his opinion, above all others, that matters to me most)
-Keeping my kids healthy and happy (this DOES NOT require owning a power wheels toy or an expensive van)
-Living a financially and morally responsible life as an example to my kids, so they can learn and focus on what is really important
-being grateful for what I have and teaching my kids to be grateful
-practicing compassion and stewardship
-having a sincere relationship with Christ, working toward the ultimate gift of eternal life (which I am aware that I will never deserve or be able to earn, but I feel as though I should still strive to do good things)

Do I suck at these things most of the time? Absolutely. That is why I must keep reminding myself of them. I have gone into Target and tried on clothes for an hour, placed $120 worth of items in my cart, walked around the store and picked out a couple of other things for the kids, stopped for a moment to think, then walked around the store again to put everything back, and walked out empty handed. It is a hard thing to do, but it feels SO good! I didn't need any of that stuff to be happy. I'm not saying to never buy things for yourself, but really think about your purchases every time you make them. Weigh what is in the cart against what is really important to you. It doesn't always work, but most of the time I can put stuff back without hesitation when I consider that I can manage to be happy without those things, and that that money could be spent on something much more important down the road.

Some people would never even consider doing this. Are you the type that is too embarrassed to put things back? Let me ask you this...Have you ever had your credit/debit card not work when checking out at the grocery store? Have you ever had an insufficient funds receipt print out when trying to take cash out of the ATM? I know those things have happened to me. They are the epitome of embarrassment! I have had bad dreams about those things happening to me. How can some people continue to let these things happen to them? Why can't people learn from these experiences and make an effort to keep them from happening again and again? Our society has made people way too comfortable with living paycheck to paycheck, and having debt. It seems as though too many people believe that things will always be okay or work themselves out, or that they can fall back on the government or their family and friends for help if they need it. Praying to God for help and answers, or stating that He will always provide is bogus if you don’t take the initiative to do the things that need to be done. Charging up a bunch of debt, bouncing checks, and getting your car repossessed, then telling yourself it is all going to be okay because God will provide is just ridiculous. It is one thing to put all of your worries in God’s hands, but YOU need to work at it too! Pray for guidance, not just help! Brad tells me this quite often, "It's all going to be okay, Amy!" And you know what? He is always right! It is always okay FOR US. This is because we have (he has) made arrangements and sacrifices (if you prefer that word) to ensure that we will not have to worry too much.

Amidst my ranting and judging, all I really want is for the people I know and love to not have to worry either. I don't want to see my friends struggling with debt in the future when they should be able to retire and enjoy life. I don't want to be able to pay cash for our house when we retire and send our kids to good colleges so that I can rub it in anyone's face. I NEVER want to say, “I told you so” to anyone. I want for my loved ones to be able to pay cash for their houses and send their kids to good colleges, too (though I realize the house thing is not an option for most people)! Part of my frustration is that this will never happen because people are too worried about what they have to have now. It does make me mad! It does make me want to grab onto you and shake you...for your own good! I do get pissed off at you for having a 4G iPhone when I have a sign-a-2-year-contract-and-get-this-phone-free phone, especially when you are unemployed and broke, and I have a respectable steady income. I love you, therefore I don't think you should have a fancy phone! Doesn't that statement make sense to anyone else? Am I going completely bonkers here?

I am sad that this blog will only paint me as a mean and judgmental person, because the financial planning of Team Hayes is a total minority these days. I am already feeling regret in anticipation of comments I will receive or friends I will lose, though I haven't even posted this yet.

Maybe, just maybe, this raging blog will get through to someone!

I have tried this approach in one-on-one situations with a couple different friends in the past. Once, it failed, blew up in my face big time and I nearly lost a great friend for good. The other times, the people on the other side actually took what I had to say to heart, listened without putting up a defense and asked me to help them. Yay!

Though many people will be prone to the defensive, "Who does Amy think she is?", "I am happy with my big hat, I don’t need cattle " stance....especially because I haven't used the kindest or most tactful words this time, perhaps someone will actually become more responsible because of my words...even if it's for the sole fact that they are worried about what people are thinking of them.

Sigh.

I don’t always say what is on my mind (hard to believe, but true). This time I just really felt the need to get it out there. Is there really that much of a difference between thinking it and saying it? It’s just as bad either way, right? I am upset by the actions of many, and I have written here exactly what has been on my mind. This is who I am, and I am not trying to hide that. If you don't like who I am, that's okay. I am willing to risk losing the favor of certain people in order to be able to open up and not hide how I truly feel. I feel better now. That might sound really selfish, but I hate thinking things about people, and pretending that I don't think those things (though this is a part of life that we all must practice in order to get by). Just know, that if you are reading this, I probably care about you (I don't think too many complete strangers read my blog). If you are on my facebook friends list, I probably care about you at least a little bit. ;) It was not my goal to alienate or offend anyone, but just to empty my mind into a forum where people could see what I was feeling. You all have very good qualities, that make you likable and good people. Sadly though, for many of you, being financially responsible is not one of those qualities. Take from this what you will.

Virtual high five, to everyone out there who sincerely intends on paying back every penny they have ever borrowed before they die, and has a plan to do so. You rock my socks. And, an extra pat on the back for not getting as frustrated as I have, with the people who plan on dying in debt just because they can.

Flutter By

2010-07-01T11:28:00.007-10:00

Something strange happened to me today. For a very brief moment, I honestly believed that my father had faked his own death and moved to Hawaii. No, I did not see someone that looked eerily similar to him (though that happens sometimes). I was stalked by a helicopter, and I convinced my self (or rather, I REALLY wanted to believe) that it was him following me along my run to check up on me.

I was in my living room this morning, in my running gear, getting the kids fed and dressed to load them up into the stroller and head out on our run. A sat down to feed Sam, and I heard a Robinson. This is nothing new. I live across the street from the airport, and I'm pretty sure that Honolulu has a higher helicopter per capita rate than most places. I've grown used to hearing helicopters flutter over my house every day. Sometimes I just smile and think about my dad. Sometimes I get a little sad, especially when I hear a Robinson. I am definitely not trained to recognize other rotor systems and be able to name what kind of helicopter they are, but the sound of a Robinson R44 is one of the most familiar and cherished sounds to me.

I was feeding Sam for a good five minutes or more. I never stopped hearing the helicopter. I thought that was strange. It seemed to be hovering right over my backyard. I proceeded to change Sam's diaper, get him dressed, take Jocelyn potty, get her dressed, and put them both in the stroller, the whole time still wondering why there was a helicopter hovering over my house. I had looked out my back screen door and didn't see anything. As I pushed the stroller out of my front door, I saw it. It was a white Robinson R44 with some small black lettering on the door. It wasn't super low or anything, but it was just hovering directly above the center of my cul-de-sac. I smiled as Jocelyn shouted, "Heycopper, Gruppa!"

We started up the hill on our normal route, and I noticed the helicopter was following me. It seemed to break it's hover to move slowly along as we made our way to the top of the hill. My heart started fluttering. It was just a completely unique feeling, I can't even explain it! I took a picture of it with my phone, then I proceeded to run along. It started circling my neighbor hood (or circling me, as I was convinced). Each time it banked left to circle, I could just imagine myself making eye contact with the pilot across the 800 or so feet that separated us. Then, of course, I imagined seeing my dad in the pilot seat. I fabricated some amazing story in my head about my dad faking his own death and moving to Hawaii to be a tourist pilot (which is absurd because he would probably rather have actually died than worked for someone else). Anyway, I let myself believe my story for a minute. I convinced myself that flying circles around while I ran was his way of letting me know he was still alive. I KNOW, I'm a weirdo.

I ran for 45 minutes and about 4 miles. The R44 was there for every step. I took a picture about every four or five minutes. There was a period of time that I was running under the H-1, in which I could not see or hear it, but when I came out the other side, it was there.

I don't believe in communication from dead people. I know a lot of people who do, but I do not. I do believe in signs from God, even though I'm not sure I believe that God would really spend a whole lot of time and effort giving me signs. Whatever the reason, or coincidence, I love the feeling that I get when stuff like this happens. I love the feeling that I got when I was at a stoplight a couple weeks ago, behind a car that was the exact same as my dad's, with a bumper sticker from his favorite fast food place on it, at the same time that 'Ride of the Valkyries' was playing in the background of the radio DJ, as a helicopter and airplane flew in formation right across the sky in front of me. It's THAT feeling. The feeling that is exciting and scary and makes you smile even as you are thinking to yourself, "Nobody is going to believe this actually happened". Nobody even needs to believe that it happened, because it is a moment that was meant for you and nobody can take away that feeling once it has happened. Whether these types of things are coincidence or some high power trying to communicate something to me, I'm just glad it happens. It just feels good.

It feels good to feel loved. These experiences seem to communicate love to me. As I sprinted into my driveway at the end of my run, the R44 took off toward Waikiki. And as I stretched, it disappeared into the distance. Nuts. A coincidence could never have had better timing. As crazy as it sounds, I feel consumed by fatherly love today. My father's love, and God's love. I just have this amazing sense that I am being watched over and cared for. As much as I struggled with believing it while he was alive, my father did love me and care about me. It really sucks that it took his death and some silly "signs" for me to truly FEEL it. Perhaps he is taking communication classes somewhere in the afterlife? I'm not one to glorify people upon their death, my dad had his faults, but I now realize that being unloving was not one of them.

On a completely different note, Jocelyn yelled, "Hurry up mommy, hurry up!" about 573 times during our run today. I wanted to smack her, but chose instead to thank her for for being so cute and so motivational (urgh).

On another completely different note, I think the last half mile of our run today was the fastest half mile I have ever done. We were cruising down Nimitz in the shade of the H-1, when we see a bicycle headed our way. I stay as far to the right of the jogging path as I can to give this guy plenty of room to get by...but he stops like 30 yards before us, gets off his bike and disappears behind a concrete support for the highway. I freaked out, like he was going to jump out and attack me as I ran by. Nope. As we ran by, he was standing there peeing...not even with his back to us! I saw his wanger! Oh my. I was so scared. What kind of person would see me coming with two kids in a stroller, and decided that was a good time to whip it out and take a leak...facing the street!?!?. Creep! I ran so fast, looking over my shoulder to make sure he didn't get back on his bike and follow me home! Anyway, my mood was brightened again once I emerged from under the highway to see that the R44 was still there, looking out for me! :)

These pictures are horrible because they were taken with my crummy cell phone, but the helicopter was a lot closer than it appears to be in the pictures.

Sunday Night

2010-06-28T00:02:00.003-10:00

Nearly every Sunday night for the past 3 1/2 months, I've had to prepare myself for another grueling week of four children to start early on Monday. Well, it hasn't really been 'grueling', and I'm kind of sad that Trevor and Parker will not be waking me up tomorrow. They are still on the island for another week and a half, but the fact that they aren't spending every day with me just makes the fact that they are leaving very soon that much more apparent. Jocelyn already asks about them, and has even designated certain toys of hers as belonging to them. "No Sam, that's Trevor's toy." "Mommy, where is Parker? This is Parker's car." She even sang happy birthday to both of them in the van today, then she sang happy birthday to daddy and Barney (it was just me, Sam and Jocelyn in the van). ;)

I loved having the boys with me all the time. It really made me feel like super woman because it was easy when it was expected to have been difficult. I seemed to have impressed a lot of people. I think that was only because most people are intimidated by the unknown. Most people have never tried taking care of four children, age four and under, so they wouldn't know how easy it is. It's been tough without the older boys around! I'll be sitting on the couch feeding Sam and my phone will ring from on top of the computer desk, and I practically have to beg Jocelyn to bring it to me...when Trevor would have sprinted to it and brought it straight to my open hand. It was easy to take a shower before because all three big kids would play nicely in Jocelyn's room as Sam napped. Now, Jocelyn doesn't want to play in her room by herself. Instead, she stays in the bathroom the whole time I'm in the shower, playing peek-a-boo with the shower curtain. Great!

I had to adjust things when Amanda arrived back in March, like putting my kids to bed earlier and getting myself out of bed MUCH earlier. But, I got used to it. Now, I have to adjust all over again. I don't want to. I don't want to adjust to them leaving. I don't want to adjust to Jocelyn losing her everyday playmates. I don't want to adjust to not having any family nearby again. I'd rather wake up early to Amanda calling me because I was still asleep when she got here and I didn't hear her knocking on the door. I'm going to miss them so much when they leave.

I was supposed to go to the fair with them yesterday, but I felt like the definition of misery...and Brad had to work (what's new?), so I didn't leave the house all day. They stopped by afterward, with Icees for me and Jocelyn! I felt horrible because I was still in my pajamas, my house was a mess, and I'm pretty sure I smelled really bad. But they hung out for a while, and Jocelyn got to climb all over her Uncle Brian, which is something that she isn't going to have a whole lot of chances to do in the future. It made me so happy and so sad at the same time.

I know Amanda is happy and relieved to have her husband back, and to head back to North Carolina as a complete family. I'm positive that the boys are just beyond excited for the daddy time they are getting right now. But, I'm selfish...and I want them to stay. I can't wait to live somewhere that enables me to drive to see family. That is going to be so great. Now watch, we will go from Japan to Hawaii to....Iceland or something. Perhaps Reykjavik will have a reservist comptroller position for Amanda! ;)

Good night.

CHA-CHING!

2010-06-15T16:16:00.006-10:00

Laundry money used to mean finding $4.23 in Brad's pants before tossing them in the wash, but now it has a whole new meaning to me. Every time a unload a wet bag full of dirty diapers into my washing machine, I get a warm fuzzy feeling and see dollar signs floating in front of my head.

I was going to take a nap with the kids today because, let's face it, I NEED one. But, instead I sat down and figured out my diaper savings. I looked through all my PayPal transactions and added up how much I have spent. Then, I did some math to figure if this is all worth it. :) :) :) By the way, this is the one year anniversary of me joining Diaperswappers.com and buying my first cloth diaper! Here it goes...

I used Pampers for Jocelyn which averaged $0.26 each, but sometimes I bought bargain brands. So, for the sake of my math I am going to use $0.22 per diaper so y'all don't think I'm trying to make it look like I'm saving more than I really am. ;)

Jocelyn (June 2009 to January 2010)
average 6 diapers per day @ $0.22 = $1.32 X 30 days = $39.60 X 7 months = $277.20
Jocelyn (January 2010 to June 2010)
average 2 diapers per day (nap and bed time) @ $0.22 = $0.44 X 30 = $13.20 X 5 months = $66.00

The past year of using disposable diapers for Jocelyn would have cost approximately $343.20.

Sam (October-November 2009)
average 10 diapers per day @ $0.22 = $2.20 X 30 days = $66.00 X 1 month = $66.00
Sam (November 2009 - February 2010)
average 8 diapers per day @ $0.22 = $176 X 30 days = $52.80 X 3 months = $158.40
Sam (February 2010 - June 2010)
average 6 diapers per day @ $0.22 =$1.32 X 30 days = $39.60 X 4 months = $158.40

The first 8 months of diapering Sam with disposables would have cost approximately $382.80.

$726.00 is how much we would have spent on diapers in the past year. (not including wipes)

Now, I have added all of my pay pal diaper spending up and gotten a total of $692.74. Yes, I got a little carried away from this time last year when I told Brad I would only need $400 for all the diapers we needed (which wasn't a lie, I just WANTED more). This amount INCLUDES more than enough extra small, small, medium, and large diapers to get my current children and any future children from birth to potty training (over 80 diapers). This ALSO includes over 150 inserts for these pocket diapers (hemp, bamboo and microfiber absorbent mix and match fabric inserts). This ALSO includes materials that I purchased to make my own diapers (fabrics, snap press, snaps, elastic, thread). This ALSO includes the wet bags that I bought to store soiled diapers(in the house and in the diaper bag). This ALSO includes the cloth wipes and heiny spray that I have purchased recently and started using at home AND on the go. This ALSO includes cloth diapers and cloth diaper accessories that I have purchased for friends (because I am too lazy to do the subtraction). This EVEN includes all shipping and handling charges incurred whilst buying these things online. This total of $692.74 includes ALL cloth diapering related things that I have purchased in the last 365 days. I have even resold a few that didn't work for me, and I have not subtracted that number from the total I have spent...so this number is quite inflated. :)

Now, in addition to the $692.74 spent on cloth, I have also spent about $30 on disposables. I used newborn sposies for the first two weeks with Sam, and I bought some for Sam and Jocelyn when we traveled back to California for my brother's wedding in December. So let's say the total I have actually spent on diapering altogether (minus wipes) in the past year is $722.74.

So it seems that my cloth diapers were paid off this past weekend! Strange timing, huh? So far I have saved a whopping $3.26 by cloth diapering!!! Of course this is excluding the money I have made back on selling items, and the money I am starting to save by using cloth wipes. But hey FROM NOW ON every time I use a cloth diaper I will be saving a quarter (roughly). This time next week I will have saved $12+ more dollars, and next month I will have saved $50. Even if Jocelyn were to never wear another diaper and Sam was potty trained at exactly 2 years (not holding my breath for that one) I will have saved almost $700. And that is not including future children! If we have two more kids, and both of those kids are magically potty trained on their 2nd birthdays, we will still save at least $3000 on diapers, even if I buy disposables for vacation once a year. The cloth wipes just add to the savings.

I'm not saying that cloth is financially lucrative for everyone. It is definitely NOT! Some people buy all new diapers, and it would cost AT LEAST $2000 for a stash like mine if bought new. If you have, and only plan on having one child, and you don't start cloth at birth, it might not end up saving you too much. You also don't need as many diapers as I have, and there are one size diapers that grow with the baby, so you would need significantly less diapers. The fact is that if it is done the right way (buying used and hunting for deals), you can still go nuts and get tons of cute diapers while SAVING a bunch of money. People with twins, more than one small child, or planning on more than one child should really consider this option as an investment.

So, it took a year to catch up with us but now the savings are going to pile up. I'm thinking about actually putting a quarter in a jar for every diaper I use from now on so that I have a tangible representation of my dedication to cloth! Can you say diaper vacation? :)

I thought I might add that I have yet to spend a single PENNY on formula. That might change very soon, so I thought I'd share my pride about my breastfeeding success while I still can! I know some people cannot do it for whatever reasons, but I am SO thankful that I have been able to make it work this time instead of just giving up at 6 months when my production started to dwindle (like I did with Jocelyn). Plus, I started supplementing Jocelyn with formula when she was 3 months old. Sam has never tasted it, which just means more money in my pocket!

Boob juice + cloth diapers = money in the bank!!! :)

Hibiscus Half Marathon

2010-06-09T10:21:00.009-10:00

I had been planning to do this race for over a year. Despite being a bit anti-climactic, it was a great experience! We finished as a family of four in two hours and thirty three minutes after a couple photo op breaks, two Brad bathroom breaks, and zero Amy bathroom breaks (I was shocked that I made it the whole way without having to go, that is not like me). My goal was two hours and thirty minutes, and I would have blown that out of the water but somebody didn't think he had to train (ahem, Brad) so we didn't keep a very even pace after mile #10. He's going to train next time, and we plan on eventually doing a full marathon as a family (perhaps with two double strollers?)! Here are some photos from that morning:

0500 pre-race family photo.

Getting the kids comfy in the stroller. They were so good the whole time!

Daddy holding onto the stroller while mommy waited in the LONG pre-race potty line.

Not so cute of me, but adorable of Jocelyn!

Pausing just past the 11 mile marker to take a picture with a beautiful back drop at the Diamondhead lookout.

Sam, showing off his purple. I made shirts for the kids that said, "My mom is running 13.1 miles for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team In Training".

Jocelyn's shirt. I thought the LLS logo was cute because it almost looks like they are wearing race bib numbers across their tummies!

Both kids represented Team Hayes, of course.

As did Brad.

We ran for two people who were lost to blood cancer, my aunt Marcia's mother, Dorothy Rosander, and our friend Jason Gillett who Brad worked with at Offutt AFB.

Sam's first sunglasses!

Team Hayes right after crossing the finish line!

A photo my sister Amanda took of us after the race.

A reenactment of us crossing the finish line, because Amanda missed the real thing! ;)

The round hibiscus stone was my award for 3rd place in the double stroller division...which wasn't really a division...and I'm pretty sure there were only three double strollers anyway, but I'm still excited that Alicia (the LLS TNT coordinator) gave it to me when it was left unclaimed from another division! :)

Attention, Center Of

2010-06-09T09:25:00.006-10:00

DISLCAIMER: I wrote the following blog a couple of nights ago, then I heard that certain races DO NOT allow strollers. I have now verified that the NIKE Women's race DOES NOT allow strollers, so I am not actually going to do it, and I am definitely not sending a fund raising request letter to Phil and Ted's now! Boo. :(
But, Brad and I are going to concentrate on getting pregnant, then will plan on doing the Honolulu Marathon in December of 2011 (hopefully after baby number three has given us a few months to train)! :)

If you really know me, or even kind of know me, you have realized by now that I like attention. I really like positive attention, but every now and then I will revert to toddler mode and seek attention even if it is negative attention. I have been known to make an idiot of myself for laughs, and worse. I talk too much, too loudly, and I interrupt like I think what I have to say is more important than what you were saying. I like Brad's theory that this is a product of having four older sisters, and needing to be loud and interrupt if I ever wanted to be heard when I was growing up. Unfortunately I haven't outgrown this, and I'm pretty sure it is a permanent trait of my personality. I am aware that I do things like this, but I am not always aware of it while I am doing it. So, I'm sorry for that. It is just another way for me to subconsciously put myself in the spotlight, even if it makes me look bad. Of course there are also times when I consciously and deliberately put myself at the center of attention...

I love Karaoke, but not the kind in which you rent a room and sing with your friends. No. I have to be up on a stage, or in the front of a room, surrounded by strangers that might or might not want to listen to my mediocre (at best) singing talents.

I love dancing, and have been known to bust out old cheerleading routines in bars (yes, I believe it happened more than once) when "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benetar comes on. Some people think it is totally inappropriate (they'd be correct), but some people think it is hilarious (they'd also be correct). I do it for both kinds of people, and I must admit that sometimes I think I'm hilarious, and sometimes I think I'm inappropriate. I am not biased in my self criticism of my attention seeking.

Anyway, I have been getting a lot of positive attention from strangers lately. When people see me with all the kids, at the mall, doctor's office, post office, zoo, etc....they are so impressed that they actually come up to me and tell me! I'm always like, "It's not that hard". Whether they say, "Wow, you are nuts. How do you do it?" or, "You sure have your hands full!" I just like that strangers have actually noticed me enough to come up to me and say something. I have never heard, "Wow, you sure have your hands full," with a negative connotation. It's not like anyone has acted like me being in their presence with so many little ones was an inconvenience or even annoying. Even that time Parker climbed all over this nice old man while we waited 20 minutes for a table at IHOP. The old man complimented me and told me how great he thought all the kids were! It makes me feel all good inside, and DUH I love the extra attention. I have to admit that I like it so much...I go looking for it now. Why would I wait for Amanda to pick up the boys and for Brad to come home from work so that I can go grocery shopping alone, when I could load up all the kids after naps, and get praise from strangers for doing something that is relatively easy for me? It's so nice to get positive reinforcement for doing something that I was going to do anyway! Plus the line is shorter at the commissary in the early afternoon than it is in the evening! :)

Sunday morning, while I was running a half marathon with the double stroller stroller, I got tons of positive attention! There were so many people that we ran by, or that ran by us, who shouted, "Go mom!" or, "Great job mama!" or, "Wow, there are two kids in there? Great job!" It was so motivating! I wanted to run faster and show them all what I really had! I wasn't the only stroller there, but I was one of very few, and I'm pretty sure there was only one other woman who pushed a double stroller the whole way by herself,and she finished like 20 minutes before we did, so I'm sure she had done this before. I hadn't done this before, and I wasn't planning on doing it again...but my mind has officially been changed. It just felt too good, physically and emotionally, to not do it again.

So, I have officially signed up with Team In Training and started a fund raising page for the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco on October 17, 2010. I know that there will likely be tons of women there running with strollers, but I know it will still feel great! This event will have 20,000+ runners (compared to <900 at the Hibiscus Half). My fund raising goal is going to be $1500! Yikes. I know that my requests for money from friends and family will be met with both positive and negative attention, and perhaps NO attention. But, I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm going to try to get creative with my fund raising instead of just begging on facebook for the next four months. I already wrote a letter to the company that makes my stroller, asking them to unofficially sponsor me because I'm pretty sure I sold a couple of strollers for them at the race on Sunday.

I love how it feels to have people pay attention to me. I love it more when it is for positive reasons, and when a worthy cause can benefit from what I'm doing. Yay! I know that sounds a little selfish because there are so many better reasons (than to get attention) to train/run with Team In Training. I can't believe that I'm going to do this, but I'm going to quote Anne Curry's failed Wheaton College commencement speech. "I have learned that doing good for others is actually the most selfish thing you could possibly do because I promise you, it will make you happy." Dude, she's right!

As for training with the lovely lady featured in my previous post? Eh. I'm not going to let one negative comment overshadow all the nice and complimentary things that people have been telling me! I'll give her another chance. Perhaps she'll like me better now that I am doing this! I feel great about me! Thanks to all of you who have built me up with your kind and complimentary comments!

JUST a mom.

2010-05-29T14:13:00.003-10:00

After my super Zoo day last weekend, I've been thinking that I'm pretty good at this whole mom thing. But, is that even anything I should be proud of? I'm JUST a stay at home mom after all. Hell yes it is something I should be proud of! I might not have any other influence on the world. I might not provide a steady added income to my household. I don't get up every day and head off to do something that makes a difference in the lives of others. It's an accomplishment if I am even out of my pajamas by 1 pm. But, really I am happy and proud to be what I am. Why must some people talk down to me about "what I do" like I am worthless? What I do, and what countless other stay at home moms do is hard work and has more of an influence on future generations than a lot of people think! No offense to any veterans out there, but I get more joy out of being a mom than I did the whole time I was in the Air Force.

I woke up today at 5:30 am, left the kids in bed at Amanda's, and ran nine miles to train for a half marathon that has motivated me to raise $750 for a great cause! That is a huge accomplishment for me. It's not just the running or the fund raising, but it's a big deal for me to even get out of bed that early on a day in which I don't have to wake up with four kids! It's not that I need praise for what I'm doing, but I would appreciate it if people wouldn't make me feel badly about it! After training this morning, I was met with the dissatisfaction of another runner who has just started to train for the Nike Women's marathon in San Fransisco this fall.

I don't even know her name, she didn't introduce herself directly to me before she asked me why I wasn't going to do the Nike marathon. I told her that I had barely been able to make the practices for this training season due to the kids, Brad's schedule, and TNT's rules against training with a stroller. I added that it would be hard for me to fund raise the amount required to do that race with Team In Training because the fund raising minimum is much higher due to the required travel. She asked me what I did. I told her I was a mom. She said, "So, you're just a mom? You don't do anything?" She said it in a way that made me VERY defensive. She said it like she couldn't understand how some unemployed homebody couldn't find time to fund raise or train. I think I wanted to be mad, but instead I was embarrassed. I was sitting right next to an almost 80 year old man who has completed countless marathons and other races with TNT because he lost his daughter to Hodgkin's Lymphoma when she was 18. I felt like complete crap for saying, "I can't fund raise that much," and "It's hard to train with my schedule," right in front of him. But honestly, it WAS hard to raise $750 this time around...and without a job I don't even have coworkers to solicit donations from!!! And, it HAS been hard to train having four kids eleven hours a day, and a husband that is forced to work a disgusting schedule! I am PROUD of what I HAVE done, but she took that all away and my pride just disappeared.

In my embarrassment, I started spouting out justifications.

"Well, I've been watching my sister's kids too."

"My husband's schedule barely allows me to train, much less travel for a race."

"Half of the required fund raising for that race is just to cover air fare and lodging anyway, when I could fly there and stay there for free."

I didn't even bother mentioning that I have NO desire to run 26 miles EVER. I felt like an idiot, because none of what I was saying sound like a valid reason to not raise more money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Then, this woman said, "So your husband is in the military? Can't he help you raise money?" You know, since he has a job and has so much more worth than me this was a totally valid question (gag me). I explained to her that it is against the rules to solicit for donations in his work place, due to the rank structure (lower ranking folks would feel pressured into it by the higher ranking folks and what not). She then took on a weird tone of voice and said, "Well, the military ought to do something for this. They are not exempt from these diseases, you know." I thought that was a very awkward thing to say. Duh! No one is exempt from these diseases! And half the people involved with Team In Training are affiliated with the military, so I don't know what her deal was. If any one of those people thought that they were exempt or even didn't care, they would not have been there! I was there! How could she make me feel like I didn't care when I was there? She was there too, so she can't be all bad. But, I don't think running marathons for charity is something someone should do if they are just going to make other people feel like crap for not doing it. I'm sure she had some good intentions, and maybe she was just using some strange technique to try to motivate me, but I felt very judged and left with zero desire to follow in her footsteps.

Everyone else I have met through Team In Training has been amazing. Even if they think I am annoying and that I talk too much, they pretend like they like me anyway. They have made me feel welcome even though sometimes I don't exactly feel like part of the team due to my absences. They make me feel like they appreciate what I have accomplished (even if it doesn't amount to much, it amounts to something). There has been no guilt or pressure to sign up to train for another race with them. This one random woman was able to make me feel so guilty with her small judgments. I should have just been able to brush them off, but instead I tried to defend myself to her. That failed. I'm pretty sure that when I was done trying to defend myself she thought even less of me. Ugh.

Oh, well. Besides Brad's schedule, the fund raising, the travel, the distance and my busy or not-so-busy mom life, I now have another reason to NOT train with TNT for the Nike Women's Marathon. And, I don't even know her name.

:)

I can still donate my garage sale proceeds to LLS and make difference without begging all my face book friends for money for the next 6 months!

By the way, it's not too late to donate for the Hibiscus Half Marathon! :D

The Empire Doesn't Have A Chance

2010-05-26T22:36:00.005-10:00

JibJab is always fun. I wanted to put myself and Brad in the movie, but it needed three boys (one of them black) and one girl...and what do you know? This just worked out perfectly for the kids! I love Trevor's Lando moustache. :)

http://starwars.jibjab.com/view/L0s6T0rUBoc0EOKQ?cmpid=sw_fb_self

Ack!!! Centuate The Positive :)

2010-05-22T20:46:00.010-10:00

Have you ever had one of those rock bottom moments? Whether it be over something serious like not being able to pay the mortgage this month, or over something trivial (though not seeming so trivial at the moment) like someone saying something rude to you at work in front of your coworkers and clients...we all get that feeling. Sometimes it lasts days, sometimes it only lasts mere seconds. I think we should all be very thankful for those times, those times that give us something to hope for, and essentially no where to go but up. I had one of those moments today. I just wanted to give up and go home. I'm going to tell you about it, but first I want to address a question about karma.

How is karma supposed to work, really? Yeah, I know the part about "what goes around comes around", but I need more specifics than that. For example, if someone does something bad, but later in the same day does something good...does that cancel the bad thing out? Or, do they just have a little bit of bad karma AND a little bit of good karma due to them? A couple of days ago, I accidentally cut a guy off while I was pulling into the Burger King drive through. He was in uniform and probably on his lunch break. I didn't really have anywhere I needed to be, except to bring lunch to Brad, so I felt really bad. There is my bad karma. But, then I bought his lunch. That should earn me some good karma, right? I don't think that my buying his lunch canceled out me cutting him off, though. I think today gave me what was coming to me...good and bad (but thankfully not in that order). :)

The day started out okay. It always seems to start out better when I shower the night before, so I don't end up in my pajamas until nap time. We all woke up around 7:30. The kitchen was clean, and we were planning on being gone all day, so instead of dirtying dishes we had a nutritious breakfast of Pop Tarts on paper towels. Yum. I changed and fed Sam, packed some sunscreen and snacks, got the three older kids to the bathroom and dressed, and we were out the door by 9:30. We stopped at the ATM and took out $60, then we were on our way to the zoo!

As we drove through Waikiki, past the beach, I noticed there was a surfing contest/event today. The beach was covered with tents with sponsor logos, and there were tons of people with boards out on the water. All I could think was, "How fun!" It didn't cross my mind that this would make the parking situation at the zoo troublesome. THEN I turned to go park in the free public parking at Kapiolani Park, and found out that there was a military appreciation picnic (huge event) going on there, and the ENTIRE parking lot was closed for VIP military personnel. This parking lot has like 400 spots, and they were 80% empty! Grr, right? So, I get to the zoo parking lot and circle for at least an hour. It is an oval, one-way parking lot. When someone sees someone arriving at their car to leave, they stop and wait for them to load the kids, etc. The one way lane is too narrow for anyone to pass, so each time someone stops to wait for a spot, everyone has to stop and wait for five minutes. I must have circled that lot at least twelve times, and it took at least five minutes each time. I was totally fine and patient, even with Trevor saying, "I'm ready to go to the zoo, Aunt Amy!" every three minutes. I was like, "Me too, Trevor!" Then I heard, "Mommy, hurry, hurry, potty." I finally gave up on the zoo parking lot and circled back around to see if the Nazi's were still reserving a million empty parking spots for VIPs that didn't seem too interested in attending their event. They were. I kept telling Jocelyn to hold it. We kind of pulled over at to ask some guys in uniform, who were turning people away from another small parking lot, where we could park. One of them told me that there was a big lot about a mile and half down the street and that there were shuttles. (LOW POINT OF MY DAY) That's when my "moment" hit. Tears, yes real tears came on strong. The thought of either making Trevor and Parker walk that two miles, or getting four kids, a folded up double stroller, a lunch box and a diaper bag onto a school bus was so unappealing that I just wanted to turn around and go home. But, turning around and going home would mean a van full of disappointed kids who patiently thought that the previous hour and a half was just a part of the adventure required to get to the zoo. Thankfully, my tears worked wonders. Those tears turned my whole day around in about 10 seconds. Yes, my rock bottom moment lasted all of ten seconds. It was only uphill from there.

The guys let me into their parking lot and were really nice about it. I was almost embarrassed about having to cry to get my way, but I didn't have time for shame. We had some zoo exploring to do. I got the kids out of the car, and changed Parker and Jocelyn's clothing. The poor kids just couldn't hold it long enough. The fact that they peed in the car seats was even a good thing because I needed to wash the covers anyway. I had extra shorts and underwear for both of them, and thankfully I didn't need the spares later in the day, so I didn't let the pee damper my newly found optimism. We got the stroller loaded up, sprayed on some sunscreen, and walked down the street to the zoo. As we walked in the gate we saw a sign that said: "Military appreciation: free admission with military ID". Score! We were then told that it was also endangered species awareness day, and that there were arts and crafts, games, and prizes for the kids. We walked past the monkeys and the Galapagos tortoises and checked out the endangered species tent. The kids made key chains, colored animal masks and got to play some fun games. We went to see the tigers and the crocodiles, then sat down at a table in the shade to have a snack. (HIGH POINT OF MY DAY) There was a woman at a nearby table yelling at her almost toddler for screaming (not something I judged her for because I've been there, done that). But, in the time it took for this woman to fish around in her diaper bag for a bottle, some powdered formula, and a water bottle...mix it...and feed it to her daughter, I sat down a four year old and a couple of two year old kids, each with an unwrapped string cheese, a box of raisins and a water bottle...grabbed my hooter hider, fed Sam some boob juice, changed his cloth diaper (with my new cloth wipes and hiney spray), buckled Sam back into the stroller, cleaned up the other kids, tossed the trash and walked away while she was still feeding her daughter the bottle. Yes, I am totally bragging. The woman was watching all of this with a look of disgust on her face...and it made me feel so good! Ha. I know that sounds horrible. And, I know I am not a better mom than most people. BUT, there are moments when I feel like I am the best, and the kids just do what they are supposed to...and I love for other people to witness that, and envy me! Hey, I'm human!

I had forgotten all about my parking debacle, and was strutting around the zoo like super woman after that snack experience. The funny thing is that Melynda called me on our way to sit down for snacks, and her ring tone is "Superwoman" by Alicia Keys. That was my theme song today! We saw a few more animal exhibits, then crossed the street to Kapiolani Park to check out the military appreciation festivities. Hello FREE LUNCH! Woo hoo. We ate free hot dogs, pizza and ice cream. We played some more fun games at the Hawaii National Guard booths and picked up some brand new free DVDs and books from the USO. The kids were being so good, I couldn't believe it. After milking the military appreciation picnic for all it was worth, we headed back to the zoo because we had yet to walk through the African Savanna area (my favorite part).

Tangent (big surprise, right?)...
Most of you already know that I have been watching my nephews, Trevor and Parker, every week day from about 6:30 am to 5:30 pm, while my sister Amanda works on the Air Force base filling a reserve position for four months. Well, this week is a big, joint service exercise. Brad and Amanda are both working 12+ hour shifts from Wednesday to Wednesday. The kicker is that, while Brad is working 0430 to 1730, Amanda has to work 1700 to 0600! ICK! This means that the boys are living with me 24/7 for the week so that Amanda can work all night and sleep all day. It's actually been kind of nice having the boys here all the time because I don't watch the clock for 5:30 to arrive, we just do whatever. Usually I enjoy my weekends of having only two kids, but Brad and Amanda are both working all weekend, so I am enjoying the extra company. Talking to Trevor is much more like talking to another adult than talking to Jocelyn. :) Okay, now that I got that explained, on with the day...

We were done at the zoo around 3:00. Amanda called to let us know she had just woken up. We got some Dippin' Dots (the only thing I paid for all day), and headed to Trump Towers, where Amanda is staying, so that she could see the boys for a while before she headed to work. Trump is just a few blocks from the zoo, so it was maybe a five minute ride. Jocelyn and Parker both passed out.

After hanging out with Amanda, we stopped by the Hale Koa parking garage because I had an expired electronic monthly parking pass to return. I guess there was a deposit that I was unaware of. They gave me ten bucks back (technically it's Amanda's ten bucks, but I'm keeping it)! Awesome!

I got the mail as I pulled into our cul-de-sac, and I had a package. Yay! It was the four diapers that I got for CHEAP on diaperswappers a couple days ago. They got here fast! AND, the chick included $50 worth of inserts with the diapers that were not advertised on the lisitng. HUGE SMILE. Brad pulled up right behind us in the driveway. He helped me get everyone out of the car, and bring the car seats in so that I could wash all the covers. I quickly folded the clothes in the dryer, put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and put the sheets from everyone's beds into the washer. I bathed all four kids individually. They were too filthy to put them all in the tub at the same time. The water would have turned brown. The three big kids played nicely in Jocelyn's room while Brad fed Sam dinner and I took a nice long shower. I came down and folded more laundry and put the sheets in the dryer. I prepped some steaks and some chicken nuggets, with mac and cheese and croissants for dinner. We all sat down to eat and I just felt so good about my day. Grilling steaks outside and microwaving chicken nuggets on a paper plate means less dishes. :) We cleared the table and the kids watched me and Brad battle it out at Tetris for about twenty minutes. We had beds made with clean sheets, diapers/pajamas on, teeth brushed, books read, songs sung, and everyone asleep by 8:30 (including Brad).

I came downstairs at 8:30, after tucking Brad in (if you know what I mean), did the few dinner dishes and put the car seat covers into the dryer. When I sat down in the chair to type this up, I just felt amazingly blessed about my day. The clean kitchen, clean living room, sleeping kids, and the sound of the dryer going behind me in the laundry room all just brought me this feeling of accomplishment.

If you would have asked me at 11:00 today how the rest of my day was going to be, I would have surely spouted some pessimistic blah blah blah. I might have had a rock bottom moment today, but I didn't dwell on it. Thank God I was able to move on and stick it out, because it was so worth it. So many good things came along to completely overpower the negative and just push it all out of my memory. Heck, I even made it home with $5 more than I left with. I love that it is possible to have a great day without spending any money (unless you count wasted gas). If I would have found a spot in the zoo parking lot, I would have had to pay a meter! So, things worked out the way they were supposed to. I got my little bit of bad karma back...followed by a lot of good karma. Life is good. So good, in fact, I came up with this retarded little poem just now.

We had lots of fun. I got some sun.
We walked miles around the zoo, and colored key chains too.
We ate free food and ice cream. No, it wasn't a dream.
The kids behaved. I even shaved.
It feels good to be me. Perhaps we made baby number three?

:)

I forgot my camera, but in addition to my pathetic car picture I snapped these with my phone:

Some of the junk we came home with:

My OBB Marathon diapers!!! These diapers can cost up to $30 EACH. The inserts are $6-$10 EACH. AND they are going to stop making them! I got all 4 diapers, all four bamboo hemp inserts, and all three micro fiber inserts for $35. These are the best cloth diapers I've used, but I only own two of them because I can never find them in my price range (even used). So, yes, Sam will be wearing more pink. Score:

*Sigh* :) Clean sheets await me!

The Flux Capacitor is Set

2010-05-20T23:30:00.004-10:00

These old MySpace blogs are from less than three years ago, but it is crazy how much has changed in that short amount of time. 'Before I had kids' just seems like SO long ago! I forgot these even existed until tonight when I was talking to a friend who works with kids, and it made me think of this one...

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me...give me some worms!

I found this paper in my classroom today:

I do not know who wrote it, but I have an idea. I sat the whole class down and told them what I had found. I asked them all to share if they hated anything about me. Nobody had anything to say. I explained them that if they have a problem with somebody, the best way to solve it is to approach the person and let them know. I said that it didn't just apply to me but to their fellow students, as well. A few students asked to see the handwriting so they could tell me who it was. I told them that it didn't matter who it was. What matters is that someone got their feelings hurt (me) and if the person who did write it wanted to apologize, there would be no punishment. I encouraged them all to be open and share what they think would cause someone to write it. Not a single one of them had a thing to say. Hmmm. That was the most quiet 10 minutes I have experienced in that classroom in over five weeks of teaching that class. Finally, one little girl raised her hand and said, "Mrs. Hayes, I didn't write that because I love you." Then they all raised their hands to tell me that they loved me.

I guess it is not such a bad thing that one of them hates me. I am pretty sure that means I am doing my job. I am not there to be loved. I am there to enrich their little minds with knowledge. If they hate me for that, so be it.

But, I still want to cry. The funny thing is that one of my students cried today because someone hurt her feelings. I told her to not care about what that person thinks. I also told her that crying would only make them feel like they had won in that situation. Yet here I am, wanting to cry because of what a seven year old thinks of me as a teacher. Boo hoo.

Man, I can't wait to see what high school students have in store for me.

--Amy

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Thorn in my side....
Current mood:boastful, yet humbled
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I posted this as a bulletin, but then I was instructed by a blog savvy friend that I should post it as a blog. So, here it is. :)

Well, I was having a great day until I went to Church. Not that I am blaming the horrible last hour of my life on Church, but it just fits! The first half of the service was worship songs and prayer requests. Then the sermon started. The pastor was reading out of 2 Corinthians 12. As soon as he started speaking about how we all have thorns that God won't remove, I felt like someone stuck a big thorn in my side. It feels like it is still there. Yup, pretty sure it is kidney stones. It's about time for another. :( But, then on my way home, while I was trying not to run over any mopeds while coping with my pain, I realized my gas light had been on for some time. Now, I can't just pull over anywhere and get gas. I have to get it on base. I barely coasted, 15 kilometers below the speed limit, from the gate to the gas station. I put 7 dollars and change worth of gas in because I just wanted to go home and find some pain killers. As I was driving up the steep hill to my home, the car started shaking and wouldn't accelerate. It made really loud metal on metal grinding noises that drew stares from pedestrians. I finally got into the parking lot without the car exploding. I looked at the receipt and learned that I had just wasted 7+ dollars on diesel gasoline! Grrrrr! As I started cursing to myself...I started to think about the lesson in purity I should have learned at church this evening.

This is me boasting about my weaknesses. If we didn't have things like this happen to us, God wouldn't be a powerful and perfect God. We are separated from him by our weaknesses, yet his grace is sufficient for us. Instead of thinking He is punishing me for being impure, I have decided to think this is just His way of telling me that I am human. I make silly mistakes (to err IS human afterall), and that reminds me to try harder to be more Christlike in the things I can control.

Seriously, it is hard for me not to curse out loud when I am in severe pain and I have just pumped a bunch of diesel gas into my car...but I didn't. Yay. Boast, boast, boast...I am weak.

-Amy

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Things I learned in Sydney...
Current mood:enlightened
Category: Travel and Places

I learned that the toilet water really does flush in the opposite direction when you are south of the equator.

I learned that a baby koala's first solid meal is it's mother's stool. Gross, I know, but it provides the baby with the bacteria needed to be able to digest the tough eucalyptus leaves that it will be eating for the rest of it's life.

I learned that "Aussies" is actually pronounced "Ozzies".

I learned that I shouldn't expect an English speaking cab driver in Sydney any more than I would in Tokyo.

I learned that Kangaroo meat is pretty tasty.

I learned that hardly anyone really dresses up for the opera. Whatever, we looked good!

I learned that it is freaking expensive to live in Sydney! A ticket to the movies is $15.50. I am used to $3 at the base theater here! After popcorn and drinks it costs at least $70 for two people to go to the movies. (Brad and I saw 3 movies while we were there).

I learned that Australia has their own version of the movie "To Wong Fu, Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar." It's actually the original, and it's called "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." Melynda and I saw it as a live musical at the casino and it was hilarious!

I learned that Aussies like our music much more than we like theirs! Sorry Kylie.

I learned that I cannot tell the difference between a British accent and an Australian accent.

I also learned that Australians cannot tell the difference between Americans and Canadians, so I didn't feel so bad about the British/Australian thing.

I learned that my husband missed me more than I thought he did.

I learned that climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge was not worth $172 per person! Can you say monsoon?

I learned that I am capable of blowing a couple grand in just a few days...Oh wait, I already knew that!!!!!

Stay tuned for "Things I learned in Hong Kong..."

-Amy

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tagged...
Current mood:pregnant: sleepy and barfy
Category: Blogging

Here are the rules to the game -- once you have been tagged, you must write a blog with ten weird, random things, little known facts or habits about yourself. At the end choose at least 5 people to be tagged, list their names and why you picked them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you've been tagged' and tell them to read your latest blog.

1. I like to brush my teeth with hot water.

2. Unlike Kylie, I have never had a cavity. :) *editor's note* This has changed as of 2 months ago. :(

3. I own over 50 pair of heels that are 4" or higher, 10 of which I packed to come to the states for only 2 weeks.

4. I love my husband more than he thinks I do and I secretly feel sorry for every married woman I meet because my husband is better than theirs!

5. My toenails grow unusually fast and I have to trim them twice a week.

6. I still want to be a back up dancer for Britney Spears.

7. If I had a terminal illness and the 'Make a Wish Foundation' was going to honor my dying wish, I would want to host Saturday Night Live.

8. Just yesterday I lost a bet to my sister because I thought Ronald Reagan was still alive even though he died over 3 years ago.

9. I am in shock that I am leaving number 8 as it is because it is extremely embarrassing for me to admit that I was wrong about something bearing that level of national importance.

10. I have lost 5 pounds since becoming pregnant.

I am tagging Jen D because I think she will actually do this and because I want to see if she will actually list anything that I don't already know.

I am tagging Kharisa out of curiosity because I think there is a lot more that I don't know about her.

I am tagging Amy number 1 because I feel like it...and I miss her.

I am tagging Erika because I am hoping she has some secrets that she wants to share with the world! Plus, she is a witty gal.

I am tagging Amanda because I think of her everytime I see my default photo and I am looking at it right now. haha.

-Amy

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Ultrasound
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

I had my first pre-natal exam today. I could have had it earlier, I just really wanted Brad to be able to come for the first ultrasound(for those who don't know, Brad's back for a couple weeks). Anyway, we went in for the exam and he told me he was uncomfortable because had never witnessed a pap smear before. Great! I mean, it's a good thing he hasn't witnessed any other pap smears, but if that makes him 'uncomfortable,' then how is he going to feel when I am pushing a baby out of my vagina!!! I guess we will see.

We finally got to the ultrasound part of the appointment and he got really excited with a big grin on his face as soon as our baby came up on the screen. The baby looked like it was dancing. I kept laughing. When I would laugh the picture on the screen would disappear. I kept trying not to laugh, but you know how that goes. Then the doctor turned the sound on and we could hear the heartbeat. I started laughing again and it made a loud, awful sound on the doppler, so the doctor turned the sound off. I do not know why I couldn't control my laughing. It's not like it was funny. I was just so happy and excited that laughter was the result.

Well, I am healthy and the baby is healthy, so we are happy! Oh, and I got a new due date...April 1st, seriously. :)

-Amy(and Brad and the Baby)

Saturday, November 03, 2007

You dog!
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I spent quite a bit of money at Babies'R'Us.com today. I purchased registry items for 4 expectant mothers...and then of course updated my own registry(hint*hint). Anyway, they give you the option of sending a free greeting with the items. It's not a card or anything. It actually shows up on the packing slip. It's free, though, so why not? I typed in messages for the first three orders without a hitch. Then I went to my sister Jodi's registry. I selected the things I wanted to get her and added them to my "cart." When I got to the message part, I typed in the following:

"Team Serrano, You lucky dogs. Brad and I are so jealous that you are having twins. Congratulations. With all our love, Team Hayes"

When I hit the 'submit' button, the website responded as follows:

"We cannot process you order. Your greeting contains foul language."

I was like... "Wha..?"

I didn't know what was foul about it. Dogs? Jealous? Twins? I guess "ALL our love" could be taken out of context. Seriously, though... what if I had said, "I hope little Susie likes books about dogs." or, "Johnny, Your parents wouldn't let me get you the puppy dogs that you wanted, so enjoy this crappy toy from Toys'R'us." Oh wait, crappy is probably considered foul...especially when using it to describe the product you are about to purchase from their website.

If I wanted to relay a foul message to someone...I wouldn't be buying them stuff online. I feel that my freedom of speech has been violated here. Who do they think they are? What if I had a really funny inside joke that I wanted to express on a package like this? They shouldn't be able to take that away from me.

I guess they haven't robbed me of my freedoms altogether. Tomorrow, I am going to mail Jodi and Dean a post card that says "DOGS" all over it. At least the U.S. Postal Service knows better than to tell me what I am free, and not free to say!!!! I won't let Babies 'R' us get me down.

-Amy

Hmmm. I used to keep my blogs much shorter. Maybe I should try that again. Someday. :)

Flying With Kid(s)

2010-05-20T21:29:00.002-10:00

I have done quite a bit of traveling since I started having kids, and some people ask me...how do you do it? Well, many other military, space-A flying mommies out there have perfected this task as well. After a few flights, you have a system worked out, and the whole travel-by-plane-with-kids process becomes quite easy. At first, I would accept help from strangers in a second, but now I'm like, "No thanks! You'll mess up my balance if you take one of those five bags from my right arm!" Ha. Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration.

Having flown both commercially and military with kids (by myself) multiple times, I must say that I prefer military flights. They are free, which is awesome, but more importantly, I will never have to fly with a lap baby on a military flight! Each child having their own seat makes life so much easier (and ALMOST worth the cost of an extra ticket on a commercial flight).

Anyway, I'm going to attempt to explain my process here.

#1 Have a luggage set that connects. Or, just take one suitcase (One suitcase would be ideal for commercial flights that require you to pay for extra baggage--for military flights I'm allowed 2-70 pound bags per person, including both kids...so I could check 6 suitcases for free if I felt like it). I have never been a light packer, so I have to have the connecting luggage. Big suitcase for me, little suitcase for the kids (toys, books, clothes, shoes, diapers, blankets,kid toiletries, etc).

#2 Stack stuff on top of the luggage. That handle that pulls out of your suitcase is so handy! I hook car seats to it while not in flight. The carrier car seat hooks on like so:

And a bigger carseat hooks on like so:

This is the $55 Cosco car seat from target...so easy to travel with because it is super lightweight. If you have a heavier, more expensive car seat regularly, I'd recommend buying this one just for travel...it's just easier handling and comes with the case you see in the picture. If your car seat doesn't have any kind of case, you can hook it around the suitcase handle by using one of the straps, like so:

...then use the car seat to hold even more stuff! :)

#3 use a backpack instead of a diaper bag or purse. If you want a purse or diaper bag for your destination, pack it. I usually put my wallet, phone camera, snacks, toys/books, bottles of water/juice, diapers, wipes. blankets and changes of clothes for me and the kids in the back pack.

I walk into the airport like this (imagine Sam and Jocelyn in the stroller):

After I check the bags and the stroller, I look like this (except that I might not look that at ease because I will have an extra 20 pounds in the car seat that I am carrying and be spouting bribes to a 2 year old to stay right next to me if she wants some fruit snacks) Some people might prefer a child leash in this situation, but I just can't bring myself to do it:

I highly suggest using a carrier car seat for children still under the weight limit, because it is just easier than carrying a child AND a car seat separately after the stroller and bags are checked. Of course, if you only have one child and are traveling with them on your lap, then you would check the car seat, use a baby carrier, and this wouldn't apply to you. But for those who fly with car seats, I have even found ways to hook a car seat to my backpack effectively.

It can all look quite overwhelming when you see how much you plan on traveling with alone (car seat(s), stroller, suitcases, backpack, KID(S)), but once you have a system in place, it is quite manageable.

When Jocelyn was seven weeks old, as soon as we got her passport we hopped to Korea and back which was SUPER easy because Jocelyn had her own seat on the plane, I only had one kid, Melynda came with me and that helped a lot, and it was only a <2 hour flight. Then, in the month following our return from Korea, we hopped from Tokyo, to Korea, to Okinawa (stayed the night), to Guam (stayed the night), to Hawaii (spent a week in Hawaii with Brad while his ship was there), to California. Then we bought a ticket to Nebraska and spent a total of 11 hours on the ground in California (enough time to consolidate into one suitcase and drop everything else off with Kylie) before heading to Omaha with nothing but a backpack, a baby carrier and one suitcase (oh, and the baby). I left the car seat, stroller, and big suitcase in Kylie's car, and flew with Jocelyn as a lap baby (which is easy with a 3 month old, but not exactly recommended with a 13 month old--been there, done that on an eight hour international commercial flight and never doing it again). We stayed in Omaha for a week, then flew commercially back to California for the Tjerrild Family Reunion, then got on a military hop back to Japan. I had to deal with evicting the renter in our house and hiring a lawyer while I was in Nebraska, and I was taking classes online full time, but I still managed, lugging my books, heavy dinosaur of an old laptop, and the breast pump in addition to my normal stuff. So that wasn't too bad. I think that maybe the fact that all that airfare (Japan to Korea to Okinawa to Guam to Hawaii to California to Nebraska to California to Japan) only cost me $400($200 each way from CA to NE and back), made the travel so much more enjoyable.

But...now I have TWO kids. I got my first solo travel experience with them when Sam was about five weeks old...and it went quite well! We hopped back to California for my brother, Burt's wedding, looking like you see me in the above photos (exactly the same unfortunately because I haven't even lost ONE pound since Sam was five weeks old).

We will continue to have kids, and that will make the 'single parent' flying process a little more difficult as time goes by. That is why I am hoping to be stationed in San Diego after we are done here in Hawaii. It should be easy enough to throw four kids in a minivan to drive to Grandma's while Brad is at sea for months at a time. It will definitely be easier than taking four kids on a plane by myself. By the way, I have seen it done! I was stuck over night in the terminal at Travis AFB, with a woman trying to hop back to Hawaii with her four kids before school started. Her kids were six, four and half, almost three and fifteen months. I thought she was amazing, and her kids were very well behaved. I think that whole experience was a glimpse of what I will be like in a couple more years. :) Hehe.

Anyway, I am looking forward to some potential KIDLESS travel this summer! The plan is to hop to California, rent a car, drive to my mom's and spend a couple days with her, leave the kids, then fly to Texas BY MYSELF (really? *big guilty smile*). I plan to spend a few days in the San Antonio/Boerne area, hanging out with my Aunt Janny and Uncle Mike, and then see my cousiniece Jessica graduate from USAF basic training! I'll head back to California, retrieve my children (I have never before spent 24 hours away from either of them, but that's not because I'm one of those mom's who can't handle being away from their kid for that long, I just haven't had many chances), then head to Silliness (Salinas) for a week or two until it's time to go to Bass Lake for the Tjerrild Family reunion! Brad will be flying in for that week, to join us at the lake, but he will be flying back alone, and I will be flying back with the kids. But, no big deal. I've got it under control. :)

I'll leave you with this public service announcement:

Don't let your kids try to put a car seat in it's carrying case. It could be dangerous to their health. :)

Future Husker Cheerleader?

2010-05-16T16:54:00.002-10:00

Sixteen more years of practice, and she will be the best Cornhusker Cheerleader ever. "Start 'em early!" :)

I wish my blog would cut off the left side of the video, instead of the right side! If you click the link in the top left corner, it will take you to youtube, and you will actually be able to see Jocelyn in the frame. :)

A Story In Pictures

2010-05-14T15:52:00.004-10:00

:) :) :)

:( :( :(

Ah Doh Rah Blay

2010-05-13T12:28:00.003-10:00

I haven't been keeping up with updating recent photos of the kids, here or on Facebook. So, here are a few from the last three weeks or so. :)

Sam and Jocelyn in matching diapers, being cute.

He made the 'poop face', so I sat him on the potty for a little bit.

Cutie cousins.

"Where's your belly?"

Yummy! First time eating solids.

Story time with Aunt Stacey.

Daddy/Daughter Rock Band.

Happy Joey face.

Trevor helping Jocelyn put her sparkle shoes on.

Don't know how he managed this, but it looks like he wants to go shopping!

Jazz hands!!!

Secure in his manhood.

My sweetie pies.

Crawling lesson.

Just chilling.

Sleep posing.

In step at the zoo.

More zoo time, with my favorite thing at the zoo!

Pictures from today:

Brother and sister...he tries to eat her shoes, so she gives him a pacifier.

Sam, just being a stud. Brad said, "Hey Sam, the 80s called and they want their shirt back". I'd just like to point out that I got this outfit (shirt, pants, and shoes) for $7.50 at The Children's Place yesterday. Deal! And, I think it looks good on him!

Breaking Up

2010-05-11T19:47:00.003-10:00

Dear Facebook,

I know you probably already know this, but the past 48 hours haven't been the greatest for me. Of course you know, because I share so many intimate details of my life with you. I appreciate that about you, facebook. You are always there when I want to share good news, or when I need a little bit of sympathy. You always provide a shoulder for me to lean on, and give me something to smile about in my saddest moments.

In the past four days, I have felt like crap physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My conscience has ached for mistakes that I have made, I have tried my best to rectify certain things, and I don't think I will ever be able to repay certain kindnesses that have been given me by some amazing people. Despite all of these things, facebook, I can just log into you and find something to smile about. I cried to myself a little bit on Saturday when I felt so crummy that I couldn't convince myself to go to karaoke. But I logged in, and there you were you to show me some adorable new photos of a friend's little girl...and that made me smile. Thanks for that. You always could entertain me.

You give me the ability to share with others, too. Unfortunately, you allow me to easily abuse this privilege. It's one thing to let me get away with posting too many pregnant belly photos, but you seriously need to step up on your end of this relationship and help me to keep my 'mouth' shut sometimes. Facebook, you have allowed me to abuse you, and it has affected others. I know it is my fault, and I should have some self control...but you are an enabler, and therefore just as guilty as me.

This is really hard for me to say, but I think we should take a break. Don't act sad, I know you won't miss me that much. You'll get used to me being gone, and perhaps even decided you really like it. I really like you, and I'll miss the games that we play, and the people that we chat with together, but I think this has to be done. Why? Because when I'm with you, the chances of making a complete idiot of myself are much higher than when it's just me. You take my witty sarcasm and turn it into something that is only recognizable as pathetic drama mongering. I don't like that! I'm so comfortable with you that I sometimes allow control to slip from my fingertips and end up regretting things that I say when we are together. You just make it too easy to type-type-type and click comment. My opinionated, sarcastic, off the wall, outspoken personality needs more of a buffer than that! Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's just good times...but I'm not sure that is enough to make up for the few instances in which I have caused unnecessary drama, hurt feelings, or offended friends. If I forget to act like an adult when I am in your presence, then something needs to be fixed.

I'll just come out and say it...facebook, I love you. I do. However, you have been facilitating my stroll down an unwanted path, and I need some time to think about what I really want. I have some growing up to do. I need to go to rehab, and I need to do it on my own.

It's not you. It's me.

It's likely that I will find it hard to get through my every day without you. You are my link to the outside world, my escape from being surrounded by tiny children. I will likely yearn for your company, and try my hardest to fight against it. Once I feel that I have matured enough, and that we can give this relationship another shot, I will have rules. I will not come crawling back, begging for you to forgive me. I will expect you to help me help you help me. Got that?

Until then, goodbye sweet facebook. You'll be in my heart.

Love,

Amy <3

Our Kids So Far

2010-05-07T10:36:00.007-10:00

I am one of six kids. Jodi, Mandy, Stacey, Kylie, Amy, and....Burton. Hmm. Mandy, is really Amanda...but there was still a bit of a theme going there with the 'ee' sound at the end of each of our names. I like that about us. :) Personally, when thinking about baby names, I have always liked girl names that end with 'lyn'. In fact I will add to the cheesiness by sharing that I'd prefer to have all of my daughters' first names end with 'lyn', and have all of their middle names be three letters. OCD? Perhaps. Weird? Probably. Tacky? That's me!

So far there is only one girl, Jocelyn Joy. I knew when I was 12 years old, that I would be naming my first daughter Jocelyn. A woman who I knew for my entire life, who cared for me when I was a baby and taught me pretty much all I know about how to care for an infant, died when I was twelve. Her name was Jocelyn Lee Astin, but we only ever referred to her lovingly as Joey. Joey was a foster mother. She cared for babies, over 100 of them in her time as a foster parent. Some of these infants were special needs, and she loved nothing more than to give them all of her attention, love, and to dress them up in beautiful baby clothes. She was even awarded the 'foster parent of the year' award for Monterey County on more than one occasion. My sister Kylie and I spent a lot of time with Joey as we were growing up. We loved helping with the babies and we loved letting her spoil us. We went on trips with her to the bay area to visit her son. We wanted to be Rainbow Girls and Jobs Daughters like her beautiful daughter, Diana, whose life was sadly cut short due to cancer. I will always have the fondest memories of this woman, and could think of no better name to give to my first little girl. Hopefully, my daughter will grow into a woman as caring, loving, giving, and wonderful as her namesake. Jocelyn's middle name is Joy, after Brad's Great Grandfather. His name was Joy Joseph Whitten. Brad's grandfather's name was Leonard Joy Whitten. They have kept it in the family, and Brad suggested it as a middle name for Jocelyn. We thought it was a perfect fit. Brad also liked the idea of calling her J.J., even though I completely planned on calling her Joey (we both still only call her Jocelyn after two years). While I was writing Jocelyn's birth announcements, I researched the meaning of Jocelyn. It turns out that her name means playful, joyful, or lighthearted. With a middle name like Joy, having a first name that also means joyful might seem redundant, but we don't believe that you can have too much of a good thing! She is our joy!

So that's Jocelyn. Now, for no good reason at all, here are the other girls names I have picked for our future daughters:
(not in any particular order)

Carolyn Sue
Jaquelyn Rae
Marilyn Lee
Kaitlyn Mae (My sister Amanda already has dibs on Kaitlyn, but if I get to five daughters before she gets one, I'm using it!)

Now onto boys. We always knew that our first son would be Samuel Wilson. Brad is a fan of using family names, but he doesn't think the world is ready for a Bradrick Junior. He likes skipping a generation, so we wanted to use Brad's dad's first and middle name. When I got pregnant last year, we were thinking about Carolyn Sue for a girl, but we knew it would be Samuel Wilson if it were a boy. Unfortunately, less than a month after I found out that I was pregnant, My dad passed away. When we found out that we were in fact having a boy, I really wanted to use my dad's name. My dad's name was James Terry. So, Sam ended up being Samuel James, the first names of both of his grandfathers. We had some other boys names picked out for future sons with James in them, but I felt strongly about using it this time because of the time line of me getting pregnant right before my dad died.

Other Boys names we like, mostly family names:
(in no particular order)

Isaac Benton
Julius Astin
Leonard Wilson

I know we won't be usinge all of these names because we have trimmed our 'How many kids we want' number from eight to either four or five. But, we sure will be prepared if we change our minds and decide to have 9 or 10!

Coupons? No. Clearance? Yes.

2010-04-30T22:51:00.002-10:00

A friend of mine saved $115 off of her $320 grocery bill last week, using 101 coupons. Brad and I were very impressed. We have talked about the possibilities of using coupons. I read many blogs about 'couponing', I know what it entails, and I know how much we could save. Do I want to put hours of effort into it? Nope. Oh, but it would be worth all the effort, right? Nope.

I see pictures on various websites of razors, bulk toilet paper, candy, soda, air fresheners, cereal...accompanied by a caption like, "Total shelf price: $82.57; Total saved: $54.25; Total out-of-pocket expense $28.32 + $10 register rewards. These blogs make me want to use coupons. Yet, I still don't want to put the work into it.

Brad said to me yesterday, "Okay, I'm ready to do this couponing thing, help me get it started". However, today I decided that I don't want to do it. Why? Because I can save our family $100's without putting hours into clipping coupons, organizing coupons, surfing the web for the best deals, and shopping. Also, I don't have any room to start stockpiling stuff (which is partly how coupons work - you buy a bunch of the same thing when it is nearly free). If you save your family $100 on coupons, then go buy a $50 pair of jeans, and a $50 dress...you basically did all that work for nothing.

My theory is that I can save more by buying bargain (and I mean BARGAIN) clothing, than I ever could clipping coupons...and without nearly as much effort.

My sisters Amanda and Stacey are convinced that expensive jeans are better. They swear that it is worth the money and that I will look amazingly better if I spend a ton of money on jeans. So, Amanda nearly forced me into buying a $100 pair of 7 for All Mankind jeans ($100 was ON SALE from $159-ack). I didn't really want to do it, but I can't deny that I didn't want some jeans that make my butt look good. I didn't have much of a choice however because Amanda (maybe jokingly, maybe not-so-jokingly) said that she was not going to pay me for two days of baby sitting, and that I could either accept the jeans, or just watch her kids for free for two days. So, I actually ended up spending four days of babysitting cash, and let her buy me two dresses from BCBG Max Azria in addition to the jeans. Now, in the days since these purchases, I've been dreaming of how much MORE I could have had for $200. Also, I've been thinking about how stupid it would be to use coupons if I was just going to turn around and buy ridiculously expensive clothing with the savings.

I went shopping with my friend Amy on Monday, hoping to find a bargain item to make me feel better about the extreme purchases from the day prior. I found a $17 shirt dress thing, and a cute top for $23. Not exactly super bargain material here, but they still lowered the 'per-item' average for the week.

Today, I went to Ala Moana Mall looking for one thing...white leggings to wear with the shirt dress thing that I bought on Monday. I looked in 'cheap' places like Forever 21 and Old Navy. I couldn't find them anywhere, but as I was walking through Sears to take the elevator down to Old Navy, I saw a clearance rack. I grabbed a couple things to try on and headed for the dressing room, armed with See's butterscotch suckers to keep the kids occupied. I left Sears with two new pairs of jeans, a top and a dress for $27 TOTAL! I ended up finding leggings at Nordstrom for $18. Boo.

Anyway, The following pictures are of me and all the clothes from this week's purchases. It is obvious which dresses are from BCBG, and which dress was the $7.99 dress from Sears, but really...can YOU tell which jeans were $100, and which were $5? Which top was $23, and which was $3? Honestly, even if you can, do the expensive ones look that much better...enough to pay THAT much more for them?

Take a look:

#1

#2

Okay, can you honestly say that one of the above outfits is worth $115 more than the other? I will never again be buying another pair of $100 jeans...no matter how good Stacey thinks my butt looks in them.

You all already know how much I like to post pictures of myself online (even though I still weigh exactly the same as I did the day after Sam was born), so here are the rest of my purchases:

#3

The $17 shirt/dress and the $18 leggings.

#4

The $70 BCBG dress. I talked myself into it because it will be perfect even if I am pregnant for this year's Navy Ball. But still, what was I thinking? I bought last year's Navy Ball dress for $17 at ROSS and it worked pregnant. I think I let myself think for a minute that it is a great deal because it was originally over $300...but NO, $70 is still too much! I don't care about the brand!

#5

The other BCBG dress ($30). It was just easy to spend money because it was going on Amanda's credit card, you know? I baby sat her kids for five hours for this dress! That makes it almost sound kind of cheap. I don't even like gold though! I plan on wearing this one to the Khaki ball this year.

#6

This is the $7.99 dress from Sears. Need I say more?

#7

This is the other pair of jeans I got at Sears ($9.99). AND my FREE Team In Training shirt and socks! I couldn't pass up a chance to advertise for donations for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society! These things aren't exactly free, I have a goal to raise $750 to help fund blood cancer research. Please help if you feel so inclined! http://pages.teamintraining.org/hi/hibiscus10/ahayes9rw8

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I could save my family so much money by only buying clothes that are super bargains (and I'm totally capable of that). A couple weeks ago I tried on a bunch of stuff at Target, put about $80 worth in the cart, walked around the store for a bit, then put all the clothes back and walked out. That took way less time and effort than it would have taken for me to prepare to save $80 using coupons. AND, it felt good. I know I could clearance shop and use coupons, to be a double threat, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather save my energy for the kids, for Brad, and for school.

I haven't really bought any new clothes in the last couple months because I have had plans to lose weight. Well, I haven't lost ANY weight in the past couple months, so I finally went out and bought the items you see above. Now, how much do you want to bet, that after I spend $100 on jeans, I will lose 10 pounds and they won't fit? Haha. That'll teach me, and my too-lazy-to-coupon butt!

Stealing

2010-04-21T09:16:00.003-10:00

I stole this from my Cousin patty's blog. These are not my words, but I had to share!

:)

What did you do all day?
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

5 months later....

2010-04-01T09:24:00.004-10:00

I recently watched Cori's 'labor video' and am impatiently waiting to see her 'birth video'. Watching her video made me a little bit sad that we didn't get more video of our experience. But, I figured I would share what we did capture. I don't know how to edit these together to make them cute, so this is what you get. The following three videos were all filmed within 10 minutes of each other. (The videos don't fit in my blog, so to see the full screen version of them, click on the link in the upper left corner of the video.)

When I look down and make a face at the very end of this one, Sam was already coming out. Brad turned off the camera and went to go help. I was laughing hysterically for the three minutes following this video. I kind of wish Brad would have left the camera on and just set it down...but I'm sure there were extra chins involved, so maybe it's okay that he turned it off!

This one was filmed at 1:06, and he was already all cleaned up, and SO calm. I was a little worried that he wasn't making any noise.

This one is at 1:10. I loved just staring at him! He couldn't take his eyes off of mine. Sweet little bruised-face Sam.

This is almost an hour after Sam was born, when Melynda and Amy brought Jocelyn to the hospital to meet Sam. I didn't know Amy was filming, so I stare at the camera waiting for her to take a picture like a big dork (just like I did with Brad in the first video).

I hate the sound of my own voice in these videos, but love how I reprimand Brad for not looking hard enough for the fingernail clippers at the end of the last video. Oh, memories!

Three, Of Me

2010-03-28T13:35:00.004-10:00

Three names I go by:
1. Amy
2. Mommy
3. Mrs. Hayes

Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Airborne Communications and electronics specialist
2. Lifeguard /water safety instructor/aqua aerobics instructor
3. Substitute teacher

Three Places I have lived:
1. Salinas, CA
2. Zushi, Japan
3. In a truck

Three Favorite Drinks:
1. Dr. Pepper
2. Water
3. Orange Julius

Three TV Shows I Watch:
1. LOST
2. Rescue Me
3. Dora The Explorer

Three Places I have Been:
1. Warsaw, Poland
2. Pyeongtaek, South Korea
3. Sydney, Australia

Three of my Favorite Foods:
1. Mangoes
2. Steak
3. Brussel Sprouts

Three Cars I have owned:
1. 2002 Mitsubishi Montero Sport
2. 1994 Nissan Sunny (a Sentra with the steering wheel on the other side)
3. 2002 Ford Windstar

Three things I hate doing:
1. Running
2. Washing dishes
3. Bleeding

Three places to find me on the weekend:
1. In bed
2. At the beach
3. Shopping

Three Movies I have seen in the theaters recently:
1. The Princess and the Frog (loved it)
2. Alice in Wonderland (boo)
3. The Bounty Hunter (eh)

Three Places I would like to visit:
1. China
2. Brazil
3. Jordan

Three people I tag to complete the 3's of me:
1. Erika
2. Lindsay
3. Dean

Feeling It

2010-03-28T08:03:00.002-10:00

Yesterday, for some strange reason, I woke up at 5:15 and left the house at 5:30 to go running. After running in the evenings and not really getting to bed before midnight all last week, I really wanted to go to bed early on Friday. That didn't happen. I had cakes to decorate and presents to wrap and a tricycle to put together. So, I went to bed around midnight with the alarm set for 5:00.

It was dark the whole way to Ko'olina, and I was thinking, "I don't really want to do this. I want to go back to bed". I got there a couple of minutes late, but nobody had started running yet. I tried my best to act like I really wanted to be there. They (Team in Training) explained the route, and we were off. I started out next to my sponsor, Cheryl. She's really nice, but slower than me, and she stopped to walk every few minutes, so I just set off by myself. Thankfully there were bathrooms along the first part of the route, because my IBS always strikes when it is least welcome. Boo. After two pit stops, I was feeling much better. I caught up with the walkers, and then with Cheryl, then I was on my own for a while...too fast for the slow folks, and too slow for the fast folks. The route was a 'run away, then run back' type of deal, and I wasn't even wearing a watch, so I had no clue when I should turn around (I was supposed to run for 90 minutes).

The first part of the route was along the Ko'olina lagoons, and absolutely beautiful, then it turned into running along some railroad tracks into the middle of nowhere, with tall yellow grass and tumbleweed looking things. I was sure that I would stumble upon a dead body or something. There was not a palm tree in sight, and dirt everywhere. I forgot I was in Hawaii. The ground was supposed to be gravel, but it was giant chunks of rock, which was very hard to run on.

For some reason, the urge to sing came over me. Weird? Nah. There was nobody within earshot in either direction, and singing regulates your breathing while running (as long as your cardiopulmonary system can handle it). I started singing worship songs because that is just what felt like coming out of me. I started to feel really good, and I think I even picked up my pace.

I finally started to see someone in the distance. Bill had stopped to stretch. I asked how long we had been running and he said, "47 minutes", then he took off back for the lagoons. I stretched for about a minute and then decided that I was going to keep pace with him the whole way back. Using Bill as pace bunny wasn't the easiest thing. He is about 60 years old, 230 pounds, and runs in shorty shorts with no shirt. So, for the entire way back, I imagined that he was Josh Holloway and that I was chasing him through the jungles on LOST.

We got back at the 83 minute mark, which means that it took 47 minutes to run to our turn around point and 36 minutes to get back. However, because of my two pit stops, I figured I kept close to the same pace on the way out, as I did on the way back. Bill must have felt like he needed to run faster on the way back because I was 100 feet behind him the whole way. Ha!

I walked the last 7 minutes of my 90, and got to witness a group of people getting baptized in lagoon number 4. I felt so good, and it was just refreshing to see such an awesome thing happening. Then I ran into Bill, and asked him how far we had gone (he had one of those Garmin GPS watches). He told me that we went 7.62 miles. I about crapped (again). I felt SO good. That averages out to just under eleven minutes per mile. If you take off around three minutes for each of my bathroom breaks, I was running ten minute miles! That is my pace goal, to ultimately finish the Hibiscus Half Marathon in under two hours and fifteen minutes.

This is going to sound like I am tooting my own horn, but I'm going to say it anyway. I'm pretty sure that I am a natural athlete. The problem is that I sit on my butt and let that talent go to waste. The entire five years I was the Air Force, I ran a total of about twelve times. From the time I got out of the Air Force until Sam was born, I think I ran twelve times, and maybe did Zumba like ten times. Even since Sam was born, I've ran for a few days, then took a month and a half off, then ran for a few days, and took a month an a half off. I possess the ability to get up and have energy and stamina after doing absolutely nothing for long periods of time. I think that if I had the time and motivation to actually train for a year, I could actually win a race, or at least place. If I could spend every day in the pool for two years and train, I bet I could give Dana Whats-her-face a run for the title of post-baby Olympic swimmer. Of course, I'm never going to be that motivated (much less, have that much time). But, I am going to try to not let my athletic prowess go to complete waste, like I have been doing for the majority of my life. I am in better cardiovascular shape than a lot of skinny people I know. The thing is that I could care less if I can run faster and longer than them, I just want my body to look like theirs!

Anyway, I had a GREAT morning. The running felt good, the weather was perfect, the people were nice, and I achieved a certain sense of peace, like a connection with God, that just felt amazing. I didn't want to leave right away and head back to Honolulu for the crazy day that was in store for me. So I hung out and stretched awhile, waiting for the others to return. SIGH.

On the way home I stopped and picked up mine and Amanda's packets for our race next Saturday. I got all giddy when I looked at my little paper number that I'll get to wear. I was thinking to myself, "Hehe. I am a runner. Woo hoo." Also, the race will only be 6.2 miles, and I had just done over 7.6! I was in an amazing mood.

I got home and had just over three hours to get ready for Jocelyn and Trevor's birthday party. I put Jocelyn down for a nap, fed Sam, kind of cleaned the bathroom, picked up the house, took a quick shower, made a giant fruit salad, prepped onion, tomatoes, lettuce and bacon for the burgers, set up the tables and chairs, inflated the bouncy house, set out the carnival games, set up the shave ice machine, hung up decorations and didn't stop moving for a second. Whew. People started showing up and there were kids bouncing and playing, people eating and talking, and I just felt happy.

We even made a new friend. The husband of a Diaper Swappers friend came by to hang out. He just moved here, and his wife and their son will be coming in May. We invited him to stay and go with us to the magic show on base later that evening. So we cleaned up the party, and got the kids ready to head out. We drove to where the magic show was supposed to be, only to discover that I am crazy. I thought the show was supposed to be on Saturday night on the Air Force base, when it was actually on Friday night on the Navy base. What? I really am losing my mind, and I was so embarrassed to come to this realization with this new friend in the car. Oops!

We got home, and Jocelyn started to play with some of her new things. A friend, her husband, and her two boys that couldn't make it to the party, stopped by to drop of a gift for Jocelyn. They stayed and played for a while. During their visit I sat down on the floor for a few minutes to talk/play, and my body just shut down. I was yawning over an over again, and it was only 7 o'clock. I felt rude for yawning so much with company over, but I couldn't help it! I felt like it was 1 in the morning! When our guests left, we gave the kids quick baths, and curled up on the couch to watch an episode of 'Rescue Me'. I think I passed out in the first fifteen minutes. I wanted to get on Facebook and upload photos form the birthday party, but that didn't happen, and still hasn't happened.

Today, I woke up with the sickness that Brad has had for the past week, and feeling like I broke my right foot. Every part of me aches. I'm going to feel miserable for a while, but it is totally worth the physical suffering, because my spirit and my psyche are feeling the opposite of miserable thanks to the amazing day I had yesterday!

*smiles*

Passing Mommy Judgement: The Jury is OUT

2010-03-10T13:55:00.009-10:00

If you thought high school was going to be the most cliquey, drama filled, gossip oriented time of your life, you obviously haven't ever experienced motherhood! Everyone talks about the joys of motherhood and how there is nothing like it. Yes, being a mother is one of the best, and most fulfilling, experiences in the world. However, it does come with some negative side effects. Some of the not so pleasant baggage that accompanies us on the journey of motherhood includes judgment, jealousy, passive aggressive tendencies, plain-ole aggressive tendencies, lying, bragging, so-on and so-forth. It's not just about preparing to be on the receiving end of these monsters, either. It's about "trying" to avoid being one of the monsters. Sadly, it cannot be completely avoided. All mothers have been judged, just as all mothers have passed judgment on other moms. It's going to happen. Period. The same goes for bragging.

"My baby could hold his head up since birth."

"My baby is fatter than your baby."

"My baby was walkiing at 8 months."

"My baby can say her ABCs backwards."

"My baby never watches TV."

"My baby got her first tooth at 3 months."

Who cares? Uh, we ALL do, when it is our baby! You are going to do it, and it is going to be done to you. It cannot be helped. Motherhood is a very serious responsibility, and most mothers treat it as such. They make some hard decisions based on what they believe to be best for their child and for themselves. Once these decisions are made, and the mother has convinced herself that she has made the right choices for the well being of her children, it is easy for her to feel insulted or to become defensive when someone else comes along who happens to do things differently. Everyone wants to defend their parenting decisions because they truly believe that they have done the right thing. Nobody wants to be told that they made a bad choice (though all of us have made, and will make bad choices regarding our children). A friend of mine once wrote, "I don't think I have ever failed my boys in any way." I find that really hard to believe, because we all make mistakes and have regrets, especially when it comes to our kids.

The drama involved with parenting, mostly mommying, is endless. For some reason the daddy world is so much more laid back. I think that is just because men do not have the same type of protective gene that women have. They also have much smaller drama genes (usually). Anyway, I find it hard to believe that there would ever be a blog out there, started by a man, and with 177 comments from other men, bashing another dad for not wanting to wear his baby. Yeah, the blog exists, but of course there is not a male comment in the bunch (as far as I can tell).

Is this really our nature? YUP! If you are a mom, you cannot deny it. You have looked down on other moms for doing things differently than you. I know I have done it. We all have reasons for believing that what we do is the best way. Though sometimes we do know there is a better way, and do the lazy mom thing because it is easier for us (not breastfeeding by choice, letting our kids watch too much TV, giving them cake for breakfast, letting them play in the street, etc). No mom is completely selfless, or even close. The decisions that we make open us up for judgment. We should all be aware of that, and learn to take the worst of it with a grain of salt, because arguing about parenting never gets anyone anywhere! I might tell you that I don't understand why you would choose not to breastfeed your child. This is only because I have been able to benefit from breastfeeding in so many ways, that I do not understand why anyone would turn down the opportunity. However, this puts everyone on the defensive. But, then you can turn around and tell me that you don't understand why I let my daughter watch Super Why and Dora all morning, when it has been proven that TV will rot her brain. Uh, because I have to harvest my farm on Facebook, DUH! It all equals out, yet we will still continue to judge. Mothers are the most judgmental people on the planet.

None of us are perfect, we are all very far from it. That doesn't stop all of us from still seeming to think we are better than the mom next to us...at least some of the time. I know I'm not the worlds greatest mom. Hell, I let my 6 month old daughter sit on top of a picnic table, then she fell off onto concrete and got a concussion! The same week as the concussion, she almost choked to death on a hairball while on tummy time because I never cleaned my floors! Judge away, ladies!!! But, I still think I'm better than a lot of moms! Wow! Yeah, I just said that. There is no point in hiding the truth, when every mom knows deep down, that they feel the same way. We all deserve medals for the things we do (giving your daughter a concussion comes with tons of guilt...and it's not exactly easy to watch her cry, knowing you could have prevented it), but we all also probably deserve a kick in the butt every now and then as well, for being drama queens.

For those few men who are reading this, count your lucky stars that you have a penis, and that you can sit back and relax about being a dad. It's not likely that another dad will ever ask you something like, "Uh, your 2 year old is still sleeping in a crib? Do you think that's a good idea?" I apologize on behalf of all of us drama mongering mommies for making you take sides against our closest friends because they let their 6-year-old watch a scary movie.

For you future and soon-to-be moms reading this, don't think that you will be able to escape this guaranteed part of motherhood. Take all the pregnancy/mommy advice, including this advice, in stride! Your children will be the judge of your parenting abilities and decisions, not anyone else.

I read the book, "I Was A Really Good Mom, Before I Had Kids", while I was pregnant with Jocelyn. It's hilarious, but honest. I highly suggest it!

Cori, when we write our book, we are going to have to dedicate a chapter or two to drama!

If anyone is thinking about commenting on this, saying that they are not a judgmental mom...just don't comment. I will call you a liar! Haha.

Tsurviving

2010-03-05T16:39:00.007-10:00

Weathering The Storm

I've heard/read many stories about how inspiring it can be to survive a deadly natural disaster such as an avalanche, a tornado, an earthquake, or even a tsunami. You know the I-looked-death-in-the face-and-never-thought-I-would-make-it-out-alive types of stories, the kind you can read about in Reader's Digest, or watch on Discovery Channel's "I Shouldn't Be Alive". While these stories are entertaining, the media does a far better job of scaring the crap out of people with reports on natural disasters, than they do of providing hope with stories of people who have survived against the odds. Most people aren't very optimistic when when they turn on the news to hear that their 600 square mile island is about to be hit my a giant wave. People panic. People rushed out of their homes last Saturday at 0600, to wait in line for 2 hours at Wal-Mart so they could buy water and spam as I slept in, laughing at them in my sleep. I wouldn't say I was optimistic. I was more skeptical than anything. I didn't believe for a second that I had any reason to even get out of bed, while friends were headed for higher ground. Call me a bad mother, but I didn't feel there was a need to wake my children and head for the hills when the island tsunami experts were predicting a 2 meter wave. I didn't understand how 6 feet could frighten anyone, much less and entire island full of people. We are about 3000 ft from the water and we were not anywhere near the 'evacuation zones'. Most of the evacuation areas only extended about 50 feet inland. Anyway, I know I wasn't the only one laughing. I also know that I shouldn't have laughed at the people who thought they were just doing the right thing to protect themselves and their families. But, the real funny part is the people who made it sound like they barely survived by the skin on their teeth AFTER the whole thing (if you could call it a thing) was over. "Hawaii Dodged a Bullet" was even a headline in more than one news paper. Yes, we were lucky that there was nothing to worry about. Thank God for that. And, it is always better to err on the side of caution and prepare for the worst, but I don't think getting people on the mainland worried about their families and making the whole world turn their attention to Hawaii was really the right thing to do. Now, it is kind of embarrassing. I feel like Hawaii called 'wolf'. Anyway, I had been considering blogging about this all week, so I thought I'd just get my thoughts out there. I'm glad everyone is safe, and I'm sorry if you don't agree with my opinions about this matter.

After The Storm

My garage sale was postponed due to the hoopla, so I tried it on Sunday. It rained all day, but a few people still came. We made like $130. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I hope the weather is nice, because I want to take the kids to the beach tomorrow, too!

Sam's 4 month check up was on Monday. He weighed in at a healthy 16 pounds, 14 ounces, and measured 27 inches long. He's happy and healthy...and tough. The shots barely phased him. Here is a video of 4 month old Sam hanging out with his best buddy...the iPod bear.

Brad and I saw Shutter Island on Wednesday night. I liked the story, but there were like twenty blatant editing mistakes that made it really hard for me to enjoy. I am very critical of things like that because I believe that the people who get paid a bunch of money to edit huge movies should be able to do their jobs better than that!! Anyway, I want to watch it again before I cement my opinion about the ending.

I have some good news and some bad news about diapers. The bad news is that cloth diapering isn't working for a friend whom I tried to convert. This makes me sad because she really wanted to do it, but her kid just pees too much. The good news is that there is more good news than bad news! First, Blueberry had a sale on side snapping minkee diapers this week. These diapers are usually $25 each plus $6 more for the inserts that go with them. I got them, brand spanking new from the Swaddlebees website for $12 each...including inserts! They are super soft and come in very cute prints (see below, I ordered four of them). The other good diaper news is that Melynda's new neighbor is converted! A couple weeks ago I gave all of Jocelyn's diapers to the girl who moved in across the street from Melynda. She decided that she liked them, built up her own stash in a flash, and gave mine back to me tonight! I want to say that her son is 15 months, but I cannot remember for sure. Anyway, she wants to have more kids, so this was totally an awesome idea for her, and I feel so accomplished! :)

Forcasting

Next week will be my last week of sleeping in! My days of staying up until 0200, letting Jocelyn sleep until ten, and Sam sleep until noon, are numbered. I'm excited for this schedule change, however, because it means that I will get to spend my days with Trevor and Parker! I'm so grateful for this opportunity for Jocelyn and Sam to bond with their cousins...even if it means waking up at 0600 every day. Ugh. I'm sure it will grow on me.

I am about to get myself back on board for this half marathon training. The meeting I was supposed to go to last Saturday was canceled, and I cannot go to the one tomorrow morning because I'm not allowed to take the kids, and Brad goes to work at 0430, and who's going to come stay with the sleeping kids at 0600 on Saturday so I can drive across the island to walk? I promised myself that I would not run until at least the 15th of March. I want to make sure that I don't mess up my knee again before it is all the way better, but now I am getting antsy! I feel so fat. I think I'm fatter than I have ever been. I need to do something about it beside just talking about doing something about it. I'm going to walk at least three miles tomorrow night, and if my knee doesn't bother me at all, I might just jog a little. :)

Speaking of this half marathon, I also need to get on board with the fund raising! I thought it would be easier. Big thank yous to Cousin P and Aunt Marcia for their donations to the cause! What cause? I'll be running this half marathon with Team In Training as a fundraiser for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. My personal fund raising goal is $750, however, Brad will be running as well, so our fund raising efforts have been combined to set a Team Hayes goal of $1500! That's a lot! I think we can do it, though. I think I'm going to have a Pampered Chef Fundraiser show, in which 15% of the show total will go to LLS. If you are interested in ordering a few Pampered Chef items to support the cause, let me know and I will give you the link to do so. If you would like to donate directly to the LLS, the link is below! $50 down, $1450 to go!
Help Team Hayes fight blood cancers!

Brad and I finally got around to constructing a budget for ourselves. We've been talking about it for a long time. We weren't doing too badly before, but there is tons of room for improvement. Yeah, cloth diapering, breastfeeding and no cable save money, but even if there is money in the bank, more money in the bank is always a good thing, right? We tested out our budget estimates in February, and it's looking pretty good. We were pretty close to our $500/month on groceries estimate last month, but we want to try to cut that in half. We can't control how much or how little we spend on things like internet, car insurance or mortgage. So, we have decided to take control of our spending where we can. If we can stick to our plan, we should not only have all of our debt (not counting the mortgage) paid off by the end of the year, but we should be able to take a nice vacation for our 5th anniversary. We are going to try to set up meal plans. I think that will definitely help lower our grocery spending. We have never done this before. I usually just open the freezer and say, "What sounds good tonight, Honey? Ribs, pork chops, chicken?" We have already put off the meal planning for a while, but we hope to sit down this weekend and actually do it. Also, we usually don't make a list, and if we do, we always buy way more than what is on it. We are going to become better grocery list makers, and stick to the lists. Wish us luck!

So much for writing shorter blogs, huh? :)

Chitter Chatter Cheatham

2010-02-26T00:33:00.002-10:00

It was my nickname when I was in the Air Force. However, it was a second hand nickname. It belonged to my sister Amanda when she was an airman at her first base, long before she showed up at my first base and mentioned it to my leadership.

Well, nothing has changed. I have always talked too much, and I will always talk to much. There is no changing me. Sometimes I will interrupt and go off on a tangent because I think my story is more important. I'm sorry. However, now that I have accepted this, and am aware that I do it, I have become desensitized to people telling me to shut up. I'm used to it, and I sometimes expect it. I will not get sad if you just come out and tell me to stop talking. I will appreciate it, really.

Today I had a few conversations (in person and via email) in which I, in retrospect, might have gone a little overboard. As I'm talking or typing, I'm convinced that the person on the other end is dying to hear what I have to say next. Then, looking back, I realize that they were probably just waiting for me to hurry up and make my point (if I even had one). Unfortunately, I think this happens more often than I am aware of.

Please don't be afraid to stop me, people. With that said, this blog is over. :)

The bad news is my blogs are long.

The good news is that they are clean!

Please don't be afraid to stop me, people. With that said, this blog is over. :)

Countdown

2010-02-19T11:14:00.003-10:00

Three weeks and two days. On March 15th, my sister and her two boys will be coming to visit again. They lived with us for two months last summer while Amanda filled a reservist position at Hickam AFB. I watched the boys every day. This time, They will be staying for four months. They won't be living with us, but I still get to watch the boys every day! Jocelyn is going to have so much fun having playmates again. And, I will get a taste of what it is to function with four children under the age of four (at least until Trevor turns 4 on March 29th, which also happens to be Jocelyn's 2nd birthday).

Amanda and I are the two who have always had to miss out on family Christmases, baby showers, and niece and nephew birthday parties because of our military affiliation. So, it is nice for us, and for our kids, to get to spend this time together. When Brad retires from the Navy, we will most likely live in Nebraska, and our kids will not get to grow up with all of their cousins in California.

I've been considering doing in home CDC care for some extra income, but haven't been motivated to actually go fill out the paperwork. Having Trevor and Parker here for four months, will let me know for sure, if I'm ready to do that. I'm really excited, and a little bit anxious for this to happen. I have been telling myself that it will be a piece of cake...but, I'll keep you posted. :)

For Better or For Worse

2010-02-17T00:19:00.005-10:00

I was tagged by Kaysie to complete this 'wedding interview'. It's taking me back to the days when I was addicted to myspace surveys. Yeah, I used to do like ten of those things a day when I was bored in Japan, pregnant, with no job and no husband. Anyway, I happily accept the challenge, and here it goes...

1) When was your wedding day?
New Year's Eve. December 31, 2005. We didn't necessarily plan for it to be on the holiday. I always wanted an outside springtime wedding, but NYE just happened to fall on the last available Saturday before Brad was supposed to move across the world, and I wanted as much time to plan as I could get!

2) What day of the week was it?
It was a Saturday. I was actually kind of surprised that I was able to book a place on a Saturday that was also a major holiday, when I called less than two months in advance.

3) Did you get married in a church?
We got married on the quarterdeck at the Naval Postgraduate School. We stood in the exact spot where I had my junior prom pictures taken. Ha. :) I had always thought about getting married there (in the rose gardens, in the spring). Who would have known that I'd actually end up marrying a Navy guy?

4) How many in your wedding party?
There were five bridesmaids, my four older sisters, and my best friend (who actually introduced me to Brad in the first place). There were four groomsmen, Brad's cousin, his childhood best friend, and two buddies from work. We had two flower girls, Riley and Hanna (Brad's best man's daughter, and his cousin's daughter). My nephew Joseph was the ring bearer. Also, my brother-in-law Dean got ordained so he could officiate for us. Thanks, Dean!

5) How many guests were invited to your wedding?
We invited about 130, many of whom we knew probably wouldn't make it (military in NE and long distance relatives). We ended up with about 65, which was a nice number. I wish I could do it again though, and invite more young people, more old friends from high school and what not, because NOBODY danced! People who didn't know me all that well would have come, right...for free dinner? When we renew our vows in Vegas with a star wars theme wedding, I'm going to send out like 1000 invitations to everyone I've ever met! ;) Maybe my sister Stacey will be kind enough to make AWESOME handmade invites for me again.

6) How long were you together before the engagement?
We met in January 2004, after about six months of my friend Amy attempting to get us in the same place at the same time. He proposed in September 2005. So, you could say we were together for about twenty months before we got engaged, but we were only physically together (like in the same city/state/continent) for about ten of those twenty months thanks to the wishes of the Navy and the Air Force (I don't recommend that combination).

7) How long did you wait to tie the knot after your proposal?
Our wedding was exactly 3.5 months after he proposed. It took a couple of weeks after the proposal to convince him that he was going to marry me BEFORE he moved to Japan, then a little while longer to convince him that this wedding would be taking place in California. By Halloween, we (I) had decided on New Year's Eve and got to work. There really wasn't any waiting involved. :)

8) How did he propose??
Well, he will be mad/embarrassed that I am bringing this up, but it is kind of funny (now). I thought I was getting engaged on a trip that we took to California, for him to meet my family, and for a romantic weekend in San Fransisco. Why did I think this? Well, someone told me that he bought me the ring I wanted (that someone was him). What was I supposed to, expect him to hang onto it for a few months before giving it to me? Well, that's what he did. He realized that telling me about it was a HUGE mistake, and he became worried about how he was supposed to surprise me then. Maybe he should have thought about that before telling me about it? Anyway, I went so long expecting it, and threatening him with ultimatums, that I finally just gave up. I fell asleep in the car on the way from Omaha to Superior to spend my birthday weekend with his family. He woke me up and we were parked on some dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I was tired and hungry and pissed, thinking, "what happened. Where are we?" Brad's grandfather left him 40 acres in Bostwick, right outside of Superior, NE. That was where we were. I didn't want to be there. Then he started talking about the house he wanted to build there someday, which I'd heard before. *yawn* Then he went on, "Our house, our kids, our future together, yada yada yada." Oops! I realized that my mood was about to change drastically! He was nervous, even after trying to catch me off my guard for months. I definitely didn't see it coming at that point in time, on a dirt road, with cows nearby, especially since we had been to a few nice dinners and romantic places. It was a total surprise, and I was like, "Finally!!!"

9) Did you register for gifts? If yes, where?
Yes we did, at Macy's and Target. But, most people were aware that we were going to rent out our house so that I could move into a one bedroom apartment, because Brad was moving to Japan two weeks after our wedding. We had everything we needed already, and had to put most of it in storage anyway, so people mostly got us cash and gift cards.

10) Who did you hire as your photographer & videographer?
We didn't have a videographer. Video isn't very forgiving to images of the bride who didn't lose as much weight as she wanted to before the wedding. We hired a guy (www.expressivephotographics.com) to do our photos, but my favorite ones ended up being the ones that our limo driver took with my camera at the beach after the reception!

11) Did you have a DJ or a band?
We had a DJ. We had the same DJ at the reception as we did later that night at reception number two (our New Year's Eve party at the Salinas Airport). The reception music kind of sucked because I left my wedding songs CD in Nebraska! I was so mad, but it was my fault. The party later that night was karaoke, so that was great fun!

12) What was your first dance to?
Our first dance song was supposed to be "A Kiss To Build A Dream On" by KD Lang and Tony Bennett. However, since I left my CD in Nebraska, it ended up being to "A Kiss To Build A Dream On," by Louis Armstrong. Not quite what I wanted, but it could have been worse. We'll get it right at our next wedding.

13) Did your father walk you down the aisle?
Yes! I will always cherish that! If we had waited two years (while Brad was in Japan), like Brad originally wanted, I might not have had the luxury of having my dad walk me down the aisle. Good thing I forced him into marrying me before he was ready, right? ;)

14) What color were the bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's vests?
Even though we had a winter wedding, we still used the spring colors that I always wanted: sage and rose. The ladies dresses and the men's vests were sage (I think David's Bridal called them Cerulean). Anyway, I told the girls what color to get, and then let them all pick out their own dresses. Different styles look different on different people, and if I'm going to spend $100+ on a dress, I want to pick something that looks good on me! My maid of honor got a long one, and my sisters all got tea length ones. It worked out great.

15) Did you have a bridal shower?
Ha! I barely had time to take shower between getting engaged and getting married! I wish, though! I had a pretty great bachelorette party, though!

16) What type of limo did you get?
We got a black Excursion limo for the Bachelorette party (Miss Universe pageant style), and a white Hummer limo to take us from the reception to the beach for pictures, then to the hotel...then later from the hotel to the New Year's Eve party.

17) What were your flowers?
I didn't think about this at all. In fact, I forgot to order flowers until we arrived in Salinas, two days before the wedding. I went to Flower Magik on Thursday and was like, "I need flowers for my wedding on Saturday." So, I ended up having very simple pink and white rose bouquets. We went to Michael's and Dollar Tree the day before the wedding, and spent the evening before the wedding making the center pieces.

18) What flavor was your cake?
I don't want to talk about it. But, I will.
This is what it was supposed to look like:

This is what it looked like at 11:00 pm the night before my wedding:

My mom told me she could make a Kransekage (the traditional wedding desert in Denmark). She lied. :( I'm still holding it against her, that she would not let me order one from the bakery in Solvang...the bakery that she stopped at on her way to my wedding anyway! I was pissed!!! We ended up having the pastries that she bought at THAT SAME bakery...right out of the pink boxes. Classy! To this day, I still tear up when I see a beautiful wedding cake.

19) What type of wedding gown?
I went into David's with the intention of finding something simple, possibly tea length and maybe even on the $99 sale rack. Didn't happen. The first time, I found two different tea length ones that I really liked. One was beaded and gorgeous, and the other one was a little bit simpler, and classic. I told Brad about them, and he expressed his desire for me to wear a full length gown (I later found out that was because he didn't want the tattoo on my foot to show). I went back with a friend who was also shopping for a wedding dress (just not quite in as much of a hurry as I was). She made me try on this giant, heavy, poufy dress, that I told her wasn't interested in AT ALL. Plus, I really didn't want to spend $1000 on a dress that I was going to wear once, even if it was for my wedding. Well, I put it on and I never wanted to take it off! I must have walked around the store in it for at least an hour. I felt like a princess, even though that hadn't been my original goal. I had to have it. :) I sold it on eBay for $500 two weeks after the wedding. The girl who bought it was so excited because she had tried it on, fallen in love with it, and her mom said no because $1000 was twice their budget for her dress. Well, aren't I just a dream maker! Anyway, I liked my dress a lot more than the dress that I wore the last time I had my photos taken in that room (unfortunately, my mom wasn't lying when she said she could make a prom dress!!)

Uh oh, is that a tattoo I see? Or more importantly, are Stacey and Amy about to throw down??

20) What was the weather like that day?
It rained all through the ceremony...and we got married in front of a giant window. But, the rain was good luck. It cleared up for pictures before the reception, then was dry and beautiful just in time for us to take pictures at Lover's Point after the reception.

21) Did you have an open bar?
We just had champagne because it was a luncheon reception (noon - 3:00). We had a make your own drinks open bar at the airport later that night! Way cheap, but very effective!

22) Where did you go on your Honeymoon?
I've always wanted to go to New Zealand, but obviously that wasn't in the cards (Melynda and I still plan on going eventually, to the penguin farms!). Our honeymoon was eight months on separate continents. :( We are going to make up for that with our plan to see all the world wonders by our 40th anniversary. I met his ship in Australia for five days, when we'd been married for a year and a half. We did everything, ate some amazing food, climbed the bridge, went to the opera, met a couple from New Zealand, and conceived our first child...so I guess that could count as our honeymoon, even though he was technically there for work. People don't usually arrive at their honeymoon destination by separate means!

23) What was your favorite thing about your wedding day?
Knowing that, despite the rush, the things that didn't go as planned, and the crazy unknown future that was in store for us, there was nowhere else in the world that either of us wanted to be, and nothing else that we would have wanted to be doing. Knowing that I married the man who is perfect for me is my favorite thing, not just of my wedding day, but of every day.

24) Did anything go wrong?
Lots! Jodi was supposed to sing, but got laryngitis...so Kylie sang instead. The whole cake debacle. The room our reception was supposed to be in got flooded due the rain, which in turn got us upgraded to the grand ballroom...nothing to sneeze at. The music didn't work exactly right. Someone forgot to tell a couple of my sisters that we were taking pictures at the beach afterward. But, hey, it was pretty decent for having planned it from another state, in less than two months. I had some great helpers. I got a super husband out of it, so really I shouldn't complain too much.

25) How long have you been married?
4 years, 1 month and 16 days. It's really easy to do the math when you get married on New Year's Eve! :) However, according to Brad, we've been married almost five years. He called me when I started writing this blog, and he asked what I was doing. I told him that I was writing a blog about our wedding. He said, and I quote, "Why? That was like almost five years ago." Gotta love him. I do.

PURGE

2010-02-13T13:41:00.004-10:00

Brad says that I am a hoarder. I kind of am, I guess. Not the general kind of everything hoarder, though. I specialize in certain areas: clothing and shoes. I've referred to myself as a collector before, but I think it's time to hang my head and admit that Brad is right. I have a problem. I have things that I haven't worn in years, and know that I will never wear again (even if I were to get skinny, my boobs are way too big for the stuff I could wear when I was 19). It's worse than just keeping stuff that will never fit me again. I have never once, since I moved to Nebraska in early 2002, had all of my laundry clean. I have never once DONE the laundry until it was DONE. I can't, It is impossible. I have nowhere to put everything once it is clean. Laundry is a chore of necessity, and it was never necessary for me to do it. There were times that I'd go two months without doing a single load of laundry because I wasn't going to run out of clean clothes. Then, I'd run out of clean towels, clean sheets, and clean bras and I'd find the motivation to do SOME laundry. When I moved to Japan, I packed dirty laundry. I spent nine hours and $75 at the laundry mat the day before the movers came (and even gave away a huge box of stuff to a young girl who I met there), and still had them pack up dirty stuff. When I moved to Hawaii, I had quite a few boxes of laundry, despite the fact that I did 18 loads the week before the movers came. Reflecting on these things is how I've realized that this is a serious problem. It is disgusting. When Brad tells me that I have too many clothes, I say, "That's not the problem. The problem is that I don't have enough closet space!" I used the closets in all three bedrooms in in our house, the two dressers in our room, and the dresser in the spare bedroom...and it was not sufficient. I still had cardboard boxes, Rubbermaid containers and under-the-bed garment bags full of clothes. I was right, though. Having too many clothes was not the problem. My inability to get rid of anything was the problem. Also, I have been clinically diagnosed as a shop-o-holic, which was never going to help my clothes hoarding complex.

I was talking with a friend recently about how her husband suggested that she get rid of one old thing for every new thing that she buys. Ha. Brad and I figured that a good number for me would be 25 old things for every one new thing. I spent ALL night Thursday night (started at 8:30 and didn't go to bed until 5:30 am - I was in the zone) going through some stuff in preparation for a garage sale. Now, after boxing up a bunch of clothes, I can go get 22 new things. Yes, do the math, that is right. I was able to weed out over 550 items of clothing from my bedroom/closet/dresser/boxes/suitcases. Skirts, jeans, pants, dresses, tops, sweaters, bathing suits, and more (the 550 doesn't include chonies, socks and bras that I trashed). I still cannot get everything that is left into my closet(s) and my dresser. I was going to take a before and after photo of my bedroom, but the before picture is just WAY too embarrassing (let's just say I own at least four times the normal amount of laundry baskets that someone should possess, and I needed more). These are the AFTER photos:

Two very full dressers, and a some baskets and boxes of clean clothes in the corner:

More clean clothes with nowhere to go, it's not like that bassinet is good for anything else:

Sam's bedroom closet (I have a bunch of formal dresses crammed into Jocelyn's closet with our spare mattress, but she was sleeping when I took these pictures):

Vacuum bags under our bed for maternity clothes and sweaters(I didn't want to get rid of all my favorite cold weather things, even though I won't be wearing them for a couple years):

Our closet (barely a walk in, I think it holds less than the kids' closets):

Yeah, so if those were the after pictures, use your imagination to think about what our room looked like before I cleared all of this stuff out of it:

Also, these two brown tubs, and the brown suitcase off to the left, are full of clothes. I haven't decided whether or not to even go through them, or just get rid of them without looking.

I still have about three loads of [recent] laundry to do, but I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to put it.

I'm not going to disgust you further with the details of my problem. I am, however, going to disgust you with some 'farewells' to items that had no business in my wardrobe to begin with. Brace yourself.

Farewell, ridiculously, loosely, low cut thin green shirt. Though, I don't think you should be allowed to be called a shirt at all, being as your back half is missing and has been replaced with some very skimpy cold metal rings. As I recall, we had a good time in Vegas on my 21st birthday, but I still can't believe that I didn't opt for something else. Adios. You will not be missed.

Goodbye, hoochie-mama red and rhinestone top. You are the worst of your kind. I didn't even have boobs when I wore you, thank God, because that would have upped my hooch-bag factor by at least 25%. Now I have boobs, and this photo will be the only time I ever wear you with boobs. Get-outta-here, you disgust me.

See ya later, black tube top with mesh/netting halter. Just kidding, I will not see you later. In fact, no one will see you later because you don't even get to see the goodwill/garage sale pile..you are going straight to the incinerator. Burn, baby, burn.

Even though I was much thinner the last time each of these things were worn, there is still no excuse. I'm sorry for ever having worn them, and I'm sorry for posting pictures of them now. But it was necessary for you to understand how awful they were/are.

I feel so amazing, having boxed this stuff up and am preparing myself to watch it go away, far away. I'm going to to price everything at $0.50 per item or $3.00 for whatever you can stuff into a plastic grocery bag. Whatever is left is getting donated to the KidneyClothes.org people (except for the name brand things that I think I can sell on E-bay) .

I didn't even mention that I am also getting rid of over 30 pairs of shoes? Don't get me started. I still have to go through all the other non-clothes/shoes stuff in the house to find garage sale fodder.

Deep Breath. :)

Giving the gift of life

2010-02-10T23:05:00.004-10:00

I was passing time in a diaperswappers forum the other day, and noticed a woman talking about how she was on her second surrogate pregnancy. She had three kids of her own, but wanted help other couples have children. I thought this was super cool, so I stalked her around the website and read her updates and stories from her previous surrogacy.

I then 'googled' information about surrogacy and read the welcome pages of many different agencies, as well as the success stories that were posted by the surrogates and the parents. I think the idea of surrogacy is so amazing! The stories are just so eye opening. I can't stop reading them.

I'm a a total advocate for adoption, but I understand how and why people really want a baby that is made up of parts of them and their spouse. And, I think that would be such an awesome gift to give someone who can't do it by themselves.

Anyway, there are some states that aren't super big fans of surrogacy, Hawaii being one of them. That doesn't matter though, because we will definitely not be done having our own kids at least until our tour here is over. But, California is surrogacy friendly, and the agency that I like best has headquarters in Southern California and in Maryland. So, if we go to San Diego for Sea Duty once we are done in Hawaii, I can keep busy being pregnant while Brad is underway.

I know this whole idea probably sounds really weird to some people, but I think it would be one of the coolest things I could ever do in my life.

Compensation ranges from $15,000 to $30,000 (depending on the agency), which is pretty amazing considering that you could still work another job while pregnant. It would kind of bring a whole new meaning to work-at-home-mom. ;)

I have read articles about this subject. Some of them religious, accusing surrogacy of tampering with God's plan, and others super feminist, accusing surrogates of "whoring" out their bodies for a price. I realize how controversial this is, and how people think it is wrong for families to search for a surrogate instead of adopting a child who is already alive and needs a family. In some of the stories that I have read, the family has already adopted one or more children, and just wants to have one that shares their genetic history. Is that so horrible? Plus, if the eggs take (which sometimes can take up to 18 months of trying once a month before it results in pregnancy), I would consider it to be part of God's plan.

This is a quote from a blog that was written about an article published in Newsweek, regarding surrogate pregnancies:

"The basic angle of the 4,500-word article is that while American women are paid $20,000 to $25,000 to carry someone else’s biological child to term, it is an act of love more than a simple sale of services. I appreciate that angle and the article itself is very detailed and compassionate."

I could never see myself doing this kind of thing solely for the money, and I think the agencies seem to do a good job of screening surrogates to make sure, that they truly want to do it as a loving gesture to a deserving family. You cannot even apply if you are on any kind of government assistance, you have to have insurance (in most cases), and you have to have a full and complete background check performed.

There is so much involved in the legality of it, regarding things like whether the biological parents would want an amniocentesis (which I'm kind of against), and if the results of such a test would make them desire to abort their baby (which I'm really against). SO many details have to be spelled out specifically in writing because of all the the things that could go wrong with a pregnancy. The good thing is that the surrogates interview the potential families, and pick the one they'd like to help...not the other way around (which is kind of weird). Meetings and get-to-know you sessions are held before any decisions are made. One family met with her potential and eventual surrogate at Disneyland. That was a fun story to read. :)

Anyway, it will be a few years before we will even consider being done having our own kids. I just thought I'd share what has been going on in my head.

Unlike in the movie Baby Mama, all surrogacy agencies require surrogates to have carried at least one child to term and be raising it themselves.

Some Things I am Thankful For

2010-02-07T10:17:00.005-10:00

Here it is. I've been wanting to blog this for a while. Of course this has the potential to go on forever, so I will try to keep it to 1000 words or less. Ha. ;)

I am thankful for:

* Team Hayes. And, not just Brad and the kids...for all four of us, our family dynamic and how we influence each other to good things on a daily basis. The love that Brad and I shared before JJ and SJ joined us, has only been multiplied in ways we could never imagine.

* Friends. This is not a blanket statement, though I am thankful for all of my friends. There just happen to be a few who I don't think I could live without. Melynda is my shining star of hope, whenever I need a lift. She is a breath of fresh air, a devoted and loving friend, and one of the most forgiving, kind, and good people that I have ever met. Stephanie is a new friend, that I am so happy that I have met since moving to Hawaii. She is fun and patient, generous and silly. It is also very convenient that she lives right down the street! Like I said, I'm thankful for all of my friends, new and old...but those who have been here for me recently, I can't thank enough(Amy-your late night text messaging meant a lot to me).

* String Cheese. I love it. Brad loves it. Jocelyn loves it. It's just good...especially with a glass of boxed white zinfandel. I love that I am so classy.

* Great babies. Jocelyn is pretty much all potty trained after a couple weeks of hardly any effort on my part, and she turns two in a month and a half. Sam has been sleeping for 11-13 hours every night for a while now. These kids make being a mom so easy, how could I not want three more?

* Hawaii. I wasn't the most optimistic about getting orders to come here, but I have changed my tune. I love the weather, especially after seeing all of the snow pictures on Facebook recently. I get to wear flip flops every day. I can go to the beach all the time. The military allows us to handle the cost of living here, and provides us with a nice home, new fitness facilities, as well as a bunch of other benefits for tours and activities on the island. I'm pleased, and though I've been planning on Sand Diego for our next duty station, I might just let Brad convince me to stay here for three extra years. Who wants to move with a bunch of kids anyway?

* Income, bonuses, tax returns, and promotions. I am addicted to the military families forum on www.diaperswappers.com, and recently some women were talking/joking about how nice it would be if their husbands made overtime, or were paid as much as their civilian counterparts. For the most part, they were just being silly, but I couldn't help but point out that military people are NOT underpaid. Some people look at their W-2 and see that they made $35,000 in 2009. They think this is not sufficient. Especially when they see a civilian friend who has $70,000 on line one of their W-2. Housing allowance ($2500/month for us), cost of living allowance ($400/month), Subsistence allowance ($320/month) and other benefits are NON-TAXABLE, so they do not show up on our W-2. BAH alone adds $30,000 to our annual income, and we are not taxed on that. That is such a cool deal for us! It makes our taxable income low enough to qualify for tax credits that are giving us a $10,000 tax return this year (goodbye debt). Many military people take their benefits and pay for granted, but I am SO thankful for it! Between base pay, housing allowance, subsistence allowance, cost of living allowance, reenlistment bonuses, clothing allowance, medical bills that we did not have to pay, and being able to shop on base at the commissary, and at the NEX tax-free...we would have needed to make about $120,000 as a civilian to maintain our same lifestyle. That is nothing to sneeze at! Yeah, military people "put their lives on the line", but your civilian husband has better chance of dying in a car accident on his way to work, than my husband has of dying while deployed on an aircraft carrier. Another thing to be thankful for - Brad is not in the Army or the Marines carrying a gun in a war zone (I'm thankful for the guys who are, and their families)!

* Love handles. Yes, I am thankful for my flabby tummy. I have been so discouraged lately because my workout plans have been ripped to shreds by Brad's schedule, my knee pain, and my inability to remain injury free while washing dishes. Well, I am still motivated. These belly rolls are my tangible motivation factor, and until they are gone, my motivation isn't going anywhere. I am patiently waiting to heal and then get right back on track. I have earned my muffin top by bringing two beautiful children into the world, and I'm kind of proud of it. However, I know it's not just kids that have given me this flat tire, which is another reason I'm thankful for it. I eat like there is not tomorrow. My doctor even told me that I was a 300 pound girl who is trapped in a 150 pound body. I eat whatever I want when I want, and that makes me happy. I never want to have to eat yucky things just to lose weight. I am thankful to have a super metabolism that allows me to only have a chubby middle when I should probably be morbidly obese. I plan to lose these love handles someday, but until then, I will appreciate them for what they represent to me.

* No car payments. We don't have new cars. But we were able to pay cash for them and it feels so great to not have any banks, sitting on their butts, making interest off our purchases! Not to mention that we are saving on insurance. I think I might have even helped talk someone out of buying a new car this morning, which makes me feel really good, because their quality of life will be better for it!

* The internet. It's just amazing, and I honestly don't know how I would survive without it. I mean, if it were never invented, I'd be fine. But, now that I know what I'd be missing, and I'm so used to just "googling" stuff, I don't know if I'd make it through the day without it. I didn't think I'd survive without my P&T stroller when it broke, but I've managed. The computer is a whole different thing, though. It provides me with information, entertainment, social networking, a way to complete a degree without paying for day care, and so much more. I am just thankful for how technology has made my life super convenient. I couldn't imagine living this same life ten, twenty, thirty years ago, much less 100 years ago!

* People who leave comments on my blog. This is not a cheap ploy to get you to leave me a comment. It truly makes my day to get a comment. It tells me that there is someone out there who is actually interested enough in my life to take time from their day and their schedule to read my super long stories and opinions...and then share their opinion on what I have written. There really aren't many better feelings than that. How can I ever be depressed when there I get a new comment on my blog? That sounds dumb, but it is true!

Okay, there is so much more I'm thankful for, but I'm pretty sure that this is more than 1000 words, so I'll quit. These are just some of the things that have been on my mind recently, and I'm aware that I'm lucky to have them.

P.S. As I finished writing this, I went to Photobucket so I could add some pictures to this blog. Photobucket made my internet browser crash and I had to restart the computer. So, I'd like to add that I am thankful that Blogger automatically saves my progress every 20 seconds or so! Whew.

P.P.S. I bet you cannot guess what I am eating, right now.

Hater

2010-02-06T11:30:00.003-10:00

I'm a hater. I shouldn't feel guilty because everyone does it, right? My cousin just posted a blog, 'hating' on her husband. My sister commented, "I hear ya". I know it's all in good fun, but I want to stop being a hater, and start being a lover. It's not as funny and entertaining for others to read about the things that I am grateful for, but I still feel that I need to share them to make it seem like I really do appreciate my husband, my kids, my family, and my life in general. Recently it has seemed to me that most people are quick to share the things that are frustrating them (including me), and they leave out the things that please them, like those things are just a given, expected, and not a gift every day of our lives!

A couple days ago, I was walking with a friend, listening to her rant about her husband. This rant was completely warranted and appropriate (we should be allowed to complain sometimes). The thing that really got to me was that the things she was mad at her husband for, were things that I have done to Brad. She was fed up, and didn't want to take it anymore. This scared the crap out of me, as I imagined Brad walking with a friend saying the exact same things about me. I almost started crying right there on the track.

I can be mean to my husband. It is so easy because he doesn't anger easily...and I do! This just makes me want to be meaner because I want to see him react. He lets everything just roll right off of his back, which I should be thankful for, but it just angers me even more. I REALLY need to work on this. I should spend the majority of my time praising him and telling people how much I appreciate him for putting up with me, instead of criticizing the couple of things he does (or doesn't do) that bug me. I need to stop hating on my husband and start loving on him (in more than one sense of the word).

Brad has been working horrible hours, sleeping all day and then working some more horrible hours. I complain about this, like I have it bad, when he is the one who sits in a windowless building collecting data and writing briefings on boring top secret stuff from 5 pm to 5 am every day, without even a lunch break. He's the one who has to try to sleep all day while there is a loud wife and two loud kids downstairs. He gets home around 5:30 every morning and crawls into bed with me and I don't even notice. I tell him all the time, "You couldn't do my job, I wish we could switch places so you could see how hard it is to be me." Ha. The truth is that he could do my job. I have the best, easiest job in the world! And, if I had his job, I would complain WAY more than he does.

Yesterday, I didn't leave the house. I stayed in my pajamas all day, just because I could. I didn't clean anything. There were toys and bits of snacks all over the living room when I went to bed last night. It was not a pretty sight, but I didn't pick up one thing. You know, I was just way too tired from my busy, busy day of doing absolutely nothing, to pick up at all.

When I woke up this morning and came downstairs, the living room was all picked up. Brad got home after an all night, 12 hour shift, and cleaned the living room. He vacuumed and everything. I feel so guilty for being such a bad housewife, but I am overwhelmed by the amount of appreciation that I have for that man right now.

It's a little thing, but if I can get worked up and mad over little things, I should try to be grateful and appreciative of little things too!

I love Brad, I love our kids, and my life is so easy. I don't know how I can allow it get to me sometimes, when I have so much to be thankful for.

I told Jocelyn she was going to get potty trained a couple of weeks ago. I put her in some panties, and boom, she was potty trained with like two or three accidents. She doesn't even need a diaper at nap time, and she woke up dry this morning. I know mothers who have a super hard time trying to potty train their kids. It takes some people like a year, and lots of frustration. I didn't do anything special, I just got really lucky! I am thankful for that!

Sam goes to sleep at midnight and wakes up at noon every day. When he wakes up, he eats and gets a new diaper, then just hangs out on his tummy for a couple hours until it is time to eat and get a new diaper again. This kid is super easy. Jocelyn was the same way. I have never had trouble getting lots and lots of sleep with either of my kids. They are adorable and healthy and well behaved, for the most part (Jocelyn is about to be two, after all).

Now, I'm not vowing to never complain again, about the kids or about Brad. I just wanted to make it clear that I love them and am thankful for every moment I have with them...even the moments that spur a complaint.

If you ever hear me being unappreciative, tell me to stop being such a hater!

I posted a blog eerily similar to this one in April of 2008. Maybe one of these days I'll actually start practicing what I'm preaching! Seriouslsy though, watch the video in that blog, and you'll gain a whole new appreciation for my husband. :)

Random

2010-02-05T00:28:00.004-10:00

The other day when Brad was trying to leave for work, he walked out the front door only to return immediately for something he had forgotten. This happened a couple of times. When he was on his way out, finally convinced that he had everything he needed, he said, "I'm really leaving this time", to which I responded, "Yeah right". The only problem is that before I could actually utter my response, he added, "I love you", so it seemed my response was to the latter of his statements. He then thought that I was mad at him for something, and came back inside for a second. Ha. I knew he wasn't really leaving for good! It's hard being right all the time.

On the other hand....

2010-01-28T23:40:00.003-10:00

Today I was washing a glass in the kitchen sink.

Oh my gosh, it is hard to type.

Anyway, I was trying to wash some orange juice off the bottom of the glass, and it cracked as I was turning my hand and I sliced myself down to the bone/tendons.

I spent some time in the E.R., waiting in the waiting room, waiting to get an x-ray to ensure I didn't chip my bone, doing nothing for over an hour during a fire alarm, and finally getting three stitches and a cast.

Thank God for friends like Gabe and Melynda, who watched the kids and picked me up at the hospital (and Stephanie who was on standby to pick me up)! Brad was sleeping when this happened, around 1:30. He drove me to the hospital, but had to go to work at 4:30.

Anyway, I've quickly learned that being left handed is a disability. I cannot do any of the following things very well, or at all, with my left hand:

* brush my teeth
* drive
* use chopsticks (good night for Mongolian, huh?)
* fasten a diaper
* wipe Sam's butt (or my own butt, for that matter)
* use a computer mouse (especially ours because it is a trackball)
* text message
* dress myself
* sign a credit card receipt
* open a can of soda (I should be drinking water anyway, right?)
* and so much more, these are just things that I have unsuccessfully attempted in the last 6 hours.

Luckily, the cast is only for 24 hours, and the stitches will come out in about a week. Unfortunately, I can't swim until it is ALL the way healed, in approximately two weeks. What's the deal? I finally get dead set on working out and getting in shape, then I hurt my knee. So, I start swimming, and now I can't do that now either? Hmpf. I tried to do a Pilates DVD tonight and the stupid cast made it quite difficult. Fail.

Since, Brad and I are not using birth control, and I don't get a period (due to breastfeeding), we have agreed to take a pregnancy test on the first of every month. If some higher power is dead set against me getting in shape, I bet I will have some exciting news come Monday! Ha! I'd be happy and excited, but dang it! I just want to do that half marathon in June!

Okay, it has taken me forever to type this all left handed. So, I will stop here and leave you with the following PSA:

Please remember to wash carefully, and NEVER drink and do dishes. :)

Pow Pa

2010-01-26T10:33:00.002-10:00

Jocelyn just came up to me with a picture of me and my dad from my high school graduation. She was pointing to him, saying, "Pow-pa, mommy, Pow-pa", over and over. Then she put the picture in her little purse and closed it up. She put the purse over her shoulder and headed for the front door, saying, "Bye, bye. Love you", and blowing kisses to me. I asked her where she was going, and she said, "See Pow-pa, bye". How am I supposed to stop crying? She is so freaking cute. I don't know why that makes it harder to deal with the fact that he's gone. He's never going to get to see how she is changing or be proud of her for learning something new. It hurts. I am so jealous of my sister, Kylie, for being able to experience our dad as a Grandpa for so many years, with her son, Joseph. I never imagined my kids not knowing him. I always assumed that they'd visit him and go up for helicopter rides with him. I imagined him correcting their grammar as they got older, and peeling oranges for them like he used to always do for me. Almost a year after his death, I still cannot believe that these things are never going to happen and that this is how it has to be forever. It's just not fair, for any of us.

Short and Sweet

2010-01-22T00:01:00.003-10:00

I realized recently that my blogs can get pretty long. I'm going to try to keep this one short. There is no real purpose to this one. I just have a little rant and a little rave to share.

RANT
My knee is causing me lots of pain. I don't know exactly what happened to it, but when I was running on the treadmill on Monday night it just started hurting. I was going to quit at three miles, then at four miles, but ended up doing the whole five through the pain because I didn't want to be a quitter. Now I'm realizing that that was probably a really stupid idea, and that continuing to run after the pain started just made it worse. Now, I'm not supposed to run, dance, zumba, kickbox, drive too much, or use the stairs in my house excessively for 30 days. The doctor said that in thirty days I could start again, slowly, taking a month to get back up to five miles. Grrr! That means in 60 days I will be right back where I started last week, only leaving myself 2 1/2 months to work up to 13.1 miles. HOPEFULLY, the Xray will show that there was no fracture, and I can just start back up again as soon as the pain goes away. Rant complete.

RAVE
Jocelyn has been wearing big girl panties since Saturday (except for nap time and bedtime -- we still need to buy a waterproof sheet for her bed), almost a whole week now. Over the weekend she had a couple pee accidents because she didn't get to the toilet fast enough, but she has had no poop accidents. The past three days, she has kept her panties dry all day, and even awakened from her nap with a dry diaper! Her morning diaper is still wet, but other than that, she is pretty much potty trained. I'm not going to officially declare that as fact until she can go a good two weeks with zero accidents...but I feel that happening soon. I'm so excited about this. The jelly beans and the stickers are super great motivators. However, today she went a few times and was so excited about flushing the toilet and washing her hands that she forgot all about the jelly beans and stickers! She's getting so big. I just cannot believe how easy this has been so far. I'm such a lucky mommy! Rave complete.

:)

Apples and Oranges

2010-01-16T17:01:00.005-10:00

The intent of this blog post is supposed to be to document a light-hearted comparison between treadmill running and outside running. But, I can tell you right now, that it will most likely end up being all about how I never want to run outside again.

I started my stringent workout/running regimen this week. It consists of alternating nights between running and "fun cardio" for six nights, then taking Sunday off for Yoga or Pilates. I decided that since I am training for a half marathon I needed to run outside at least once a week. This is what my week looked like so far:

Tuesday - 5 miles on the treadmill - one hour - 12 minute pace
Wednesday - Zumba class
Thursday - 5 miles on the treadmill in one hour - 12 minute pace
Friday - Zumba class
Saturday - need to run outside!!!

My plan was to wake up at 7:00 and get those five miles out of the way. Yeah, that didn't work. Jocelyn and I both woke up right at 7:00. Brad slept in. I was going to go as soon as Brad woke up, then I figured that I might as well wait for Sam to wake up, so I could feed him before I left. Then I got hungry and didn't want to run right after eating. Long story, short: my 7 a.m run didn't happen until 3 p.m. Running in the afternoon instead of the morning pretty much doubled the amount of misery that I had to endure to survive this run. Time of day was not the only thing that I forgot to consider. There were many things that I didn't think about while planning my route. Here are some examples:

Bladder and Bowels
When I run on a treadmill in a fitness facility, and nature calls, I can usually push the pause button and walk down the hall or around the corner to answer. Unfortunately, bathrooms are not so conveniently located when you run outside. This might be TMI, but instead of being grossed out, choose to get a laugh out of my misfortune, or at least take a moment to be happy that this did not happen to you. All I had to eat before my run was oatmeal for breakfast and a PB&J for lunch. I only drank water and OJ. Somehow, these things really upset my bowels. I set out for my run and about five minutes into it, my tummy started to get really mad at me. I headed straight back to the house. I made it, yay! I spent a little bit of quality time with myself in the bathroom, then thought I was good to go. Off I went. Almost two miles away from the house, it hit me again. Ack! I was running down a path between a golf course and a highway and was searching for friendly bushes with serious consideration. I took off in a sprint to make it to the shopping center at the end of the golf course. The first place I could spot, that I knew would have a bathroom, was KFC. You should have seen those people's faces as I sprinted to the door of KFC like I was going to die if I didn't get some Colonel's crispy strips and a biscuit RIGHT NOW! :) I spent a few minutes at KFC, then felt like I was okay to continue my run. The person behind the counter had the nerve to ask me if I was going to buy anything. Uh, hello what does it look like? No! I responded with, "I've purchased enough food at the drive thru to have earned a turn at the toilet. Thank you." I headed back to my planned route, and got a twinkle in my eye when I finally saw the street sign to turn back into my neighborhood. I was no more than half a mile from my house and, crap! Well, almost crap. I ended up having to make another pit stop at the bathroom in the fitness facility (where I should have been running), only two blocks from the house. The good news is I made it home with no accidents, thinking of how ironic it would be for me to mess my pants after counseling Jocelyn on not peeing in her panties all day today. :)

Weather
There is no hot sun or nine MPH wind inside the comforting walls of the fitness center. Though the first half of my run was completely in the shade of the H-1 highway, and blocked from all wind by tons and tons of concrete, the second half was in direct sunlight with the wind blowing HARD in my face. It was brutal. At least it didn't rain.

Food
When on a treadmill at the gym, I cannot usually smell yumminess everywhere! Though I wasn't too focused on the smell of KFC when I got there, it seemed as though everything after that was just trying to lure me away from my run with very pleasant aromas. Passing a Jack-in-the-box, a McDonalds, a Taco Bell, a Ruby Tuesday's, two Korean BBQ places (have you smelled those places? Yum!), and at least fourteen back yard cookouts is NOT conducive to my running motivation factor. At least the drool wasn't too obvious with all the sweat on my face.

HILLS!!!
How did I overlook this? On the treadmill you can adjust the incline to what you can handle, if you desire to handle any incline at all. When I mapped out the route I was going to follow, I completely forgot that the world was not flat. OUCH!! There was even a part of the run that involved such a steep incline that there were stairs on the other side to get back down to street level. I thought the uphill part was hard until I almost died trying to go down the stairs with jello legs!

Stop lights and traffic
On a treadmill, I never have to break my pace for a DON'T WALK sign or because a driver doesn't know how to yield to a pedestrian at a crosswalk. I mapped out a five mile route, thinking it was going to take me about an hour, as I have been easily maintaining a twelve minute mile pace on the treadmill. After the first couple of intersections slowed me down, I started to get frustrated with what this would do to my final time. Brad started the stop watch on his phone as I stepped out the front door. I just knew he was going to laugh at me for thinking I could run outside in the same amount of time that I could run on the treadmill.

Lonely, Boring, and Quiet
I didn't stop to think for a minute how boring this would be. It's hard to find someone who is comfortable with the same pace, so I will almost always have to run alone when I run outside. On the treadmill, a friend can be on the treadmill next to me, going as fast or slow as they wish...and we can still chat. And, even if nobody wants to go with me, the treadmills have TVs on them. I don't even have a cable at home, so the treadmill actually encourages me to run for longer if I am in the middle of a show that I like. I actually considered talking to myself or singing as I was running down the street today.

There are so many horrible things about running outside that I am going to have to adjust to over these next couple months, unless they decided to conduct the Waikiki Hibiscus Half Marathon on treadmills this year. Still, I shouldn't overlook the good things. Wait, I have to think of some good things. Give me a minute.

..........

Oh, okay. This doesn't really even count as a good thing because hardly anyone reads this blog, but running by myself and being bored will most likely result in more blogs! All that time with random thoughts flowing through my head is really conducive to blogging. I pretty much had this blog written before I got back home. In fact, I was in such a hurry to get this stuff written down that I reminded Brad, whilst perched on the porcelain pedestal once again upon my return, that I needed a new laptop (you know, so I could multitask).

Another good thing, for me anyway, is that I passed four other people who were also dumb enough to be out running at 3:30 in the afternoon on Saturday. I was greeted by each one of them with a wave and a smile (one guy even gave me a high five as I passed. It was awesome! I felt like I was part of an elite group of runners who communicated secret messages though waves and high fives, that non-runners would not be able to decrypt. It was seriously an amazing and motivating feeling.

Okay, this blog is turning into a novel, so I am going to end on a really good note! Guess how long my five mile run/walk/climb (with two pit stops)actually took? ONE HOUR, ON THE DOT! One hour, with bathroom breaks, sun and wind, alluring smells, hills, and stairs. This means that without the treadmill pacing me, my actual running was much faster than a twelve minute mile pace. This is good news because I felt like I was running slow the whole time! I couldn't believe it when Brad told me the time. I was sure that it was going to be closer to two hours. Anyway, go me! I'm a totally motivated to keep up with this torture. I can do it (as long as I don't have an IBS attack on June 13th)! :)